Does your 14 year old have an official bed time and do you stick to it

[sleepwouldbenice]

Hi

Just the above really. My dd is just 14 and has to get up about 7. She is supposed to go upstairs at 9.30 with lights out before 10 therefore hopefully getting 8-9 hours sleep. Weekends more relaxed say lights out about 11 and up 8-9.

But in the week she always messes around and we end up rowing every night. Am thinking of saying she can have lights out almost when she wants as long as all devices are downstairs at 9.30 and she is in her room. She will learn her own lessons? Or is this just madness and I will get a bleary eyed teenager!
Thanks

my 14 year old DD is a complete owl and will literally stay awake all night sometimes. She will tidy her room, read, make lists of stuff, sort out all her clothes/nail varnish etc. Not sure what I can do about it apart from drugging her or coshing her over the head. You can't make them sleep and at this age I've given up trying. As long as she's in her room and not on Netflix/social media then it's down to her..

Teenagers often can't get to sleep before midnight. It's not their fault, rather it's a biological effect. The problem is that schools don't recognise this and start too early.

Yes. Dd is 13.5. Bedtime is 9.00 on weekdays and 10.00 at weekends. Yes she sticks to it.

We are obviously the worst parents in the world because all her friends parents let them stay up all night watching 18 rated movies and hula dancing apparently

When comes the time I can trust her to get up on her alarm and get ready for school, we can reconsider bedtime.

I was in bed at 9 lights out by 9:30 until my 17th birthday so I think she should leave her phone downstairs when she goes to bed and see how that does her

I was in bed at 9 lights out by 9:30 until my 17th birthday so I think she should leave her phone downstairs when she goes to bed and see how that does her

Hmm officially dd's (14) bedtime on school nights is 10 o'clock as in that is when all devices are switched off and come out of the room but she can read/draw etc until she is ready to sleep. What generally happens though is I go through about half eleven and switch the light off because she'd be up until 1am otherwise. Weekends and school holidays she pleases herself.

The best I can do is block the internet at 10pm.Sometimes she goes to bed 9.30 but mostly goes to her room and 'faffs'She gets herself up,breakfast and off to school no problem.She has just started to have naps,not sure if it's because it has been hot and she has been restless at night but at least she is getting enough sleep,especially at weekends when she is early seen before 12pm.

Mine was 14 in January and her official lights out time on a school night is 10.15pm. It's rarely stuck to! She'll come down to say goodnight to me and dh and ends up sitting on the sofa with us watching the news. Fed up with the nagging tbh.

I think the days of enforced bedtimes are numbered by 14 really.

Thanks for all the replies! Would definitely ban all electronic devices and being downstairs as we would never get any down time. She will potter for england though. ... She does get up herself in the morning it's just by the weekend she is tired

Think it's possibly a good time of year to go for it with light nights and end of year exams out of the way.....perhaps logic will prevail!

Perhaps sanity will prevail

Mine has to be in her room at 10pm, with devices off. But I don't check so she may be on her phone. She does tend to stick to it, because she has to be out of the door at half seven. As long as they are getting up on time, and aren't ratty with tiredness, I leave them to it. Since giving her (and her older sister) the freedom to decide their own bedtime, I've found they are more likely to go earlier if tired, rather than ekeing the time out until official bedtime. On the other hand, she was up until past 11 tonight because of the heat.

Yes think we will get over tiredness but she does have to learn one day. I am hoping she will properly learn to wind down....

Lights out at 10pm before sixth form here from when she starting living with us at 14. Once DSD hit sixth form we left it up to her. We did turn the internet off though when we went to bed (never later than 1am) so DSD couldn't watch Netflix all night because I didn't want her catching up on RuPaul drag race without me and even DH is a closet fan

She would usually go to bed about 9pm and read. She used to get herself up for school from 13 and she missed school once and got a Saturday morning detention causing her to miss a netball match which I think taught her a lesson.

Weekends and holidays were different. We weren't overly bothered as long as she was home by 9pm and didn't wake DD up we were relaxed about it.

Will she have a bedtime over the summer holidays? You could talk to her about self-managing her own sleep routines over the holiday, and if she can manage that over the holidays, you'll do a trial run in September? But warn her that she'll be knackered the first couple of weeks back and may need some earlier nights to cope. If she's sensible enough to cope with that, you've cracked it.

Mine is upstairs at getting ready for bed by 10pm on a school night. so probably goes to sleep more like 10.30pm

She is always up on time for school .

i can remember getting to that sort of age and really not needing to go to sleep till about 11pm.