Semi nude selfies

[knockknockknock]

I have discovered today that my DD (13) has sent some underwear photos to a few boys.

I am devastated about this. For years we have had the whole don't post anything you wouldn't want held up in assembly etc and have shared stories where this has gone wrong but it's obviously fallen on deaf ears. She did it because she wanted to have a boyfriend like her other friends.

I'm so upset / what can I do???

Take her phone/tablet away from her until further notice.
Teach her about self esteem and self respect. It's incredibly sad if a 13 year old thinks the only way she can get a boyfriend is by sending naked photos.
She's also a child - do you know who is at the receiving end of these photos? How old is he?

He's the same age, same school etc so I'm fairly certain there's no "grooming" issues etc and it's just a growing up/hormones thing (although I know not acceptable). This apparently happened a few months ago so it looks like nothing has happened to the photos - somehow she was sensible enough not to include her face. Before sending the photos she had received intimate photos from him.

I honestly thought we had taught her self respect etc but it seems the desire to have a boyfriend like her friends overruled all common sense.

Phone has been removed and she has been punished. We've also had the whole safety : self respect thing again.

I thought I had really close relationship with her but this has totally devastated me.

So sorry to read your post and totally understand your devastation. I imagine your DD is absolutely mortified. I think youngsters nowadays are under so much pressure with social media, its horrific really. No time to switch off.

I think the positive to take from this, is that at least she was not naked. I know that may seem an odd thing to say, but it enables you to have a really frank discussion about safety and self worth, while knowing that it could have been a lot worse.

Also worth coming up with some practical ideas as to how you could help boost her self esteem, so she doesn't feel the need to send these kind of images, while making her feel loved and supported through this, as she will be really upset about it.

Keep your chin up

Thank you both for your advice.