Older teens sharing a bedroom?

[nerfqueen]

Does anyone have older teens sharing a room?

Bit of background info. I have 2 daughters aged 16 and 19. I split with their dad about 12 years ago. Moved into a 3 bed private rented home so they had their own room. I remarried 9 years ago and we now have a 6 yr old son. Still in the same house as cannot afford to move to somewhere bigger.

Son was in main bedroom with us for 4 years until eldest went to uni. When she went we had a bedroom reshuffle. It seemed a bit daft to have a bedroom empty for two thirds of the year so moved son into smallest room and youngest daughter into eldest daughters room which they would share when she was home from uni.

Eldest understood why we were doing this but at the same time was not happy about having to share. So what we have done up until now is that she gets sons room when she returns and he shares the main room with us. However he is now too big to co sleep with two of us so I end up on a mattress on the living room floor for a few weeks.

Eldest daughter is just finishing 2nd year at uni and feels she may have failed her exams and might need to take a year out. She knows she is welcome home but would have to share with her sister as the above scenario is not viable for a year. She is not impressed.

I understand why obviously. She has had her own space for the last two years at uni and having to share is going to be a totally different experience.

I just wish she could see it from my point of view, that we don't want to have it this way either but circumstances are as they are. I work full time, my husband part time due to health issues. Private rent is huge and we can't afford anywhere bigger.

Anyone have older teens sharing? Does it work?

She's 19. I'd had a mortgage for a year at her age - share or move out!

She needs to share or find somewhere else to stay. Selfish behaviour expecting everyone else to be inconvenienced.

A room of your own at a place you don't live and taking a year out because of a failed exam ...

I'd be very unimpressed if she were my daughter.
I'd probably suggest she volunteer at a shelter or refuge accomodation for a sense of perspective.

Eh no, she has to share or find somewhere else. That should be her choices.

Thanks everyone for your replies, it's been helpful to read other people's perspectives. Made me realise I'm not being totally unreasonable

Seriously, she thinks she can call the shots, she should be asking politely and grovelling to her younger sister. She sounds spoilt - maybe a year of working in the real world and paying her own rent is what she needs to get a real perspective on her demands.

I come from a large family, I didn't have my own room until I moved out. I got a job and bought a 2 bed flat with my sister when I was 18. Early 80s so massive unemployment and high interest rates. I wouldn't have expected my parents to accommodate my wish for a room of my own.

Share or move out.

You aren't being unreasonable at all.

I think you can sympathise with her and say you accept it isn't ideal but expecting you and your DH to share with her brother so she can have her own room is not realistic.

If give her the option - sofa bed in the lounge or sharing with her sister.

Can you try and make the room more private? Like they both have high sleepers and curtains? Or a room divider in the middle? Or use the wardrobes to divide it up?

i am 17 years of age and pregnant, i currently live with my mum and sistet . i have my own bedroom we live in a privet let , would this be classed as over crowded to the council due to having to share a room with the baby when its born

She sounds totally entitled.

You and your OH shared with your son for 4 years so the girls could have their own rooms. I think this is very accommodating of you.

The oldest daughter has left home and is now complaining that she won’t have her own room when she returns. Well tough. If she doesn’t like it, she can always move out and rent her own place.