Would you allow your 13yr old to go and stay with people you don't really know?

[Howlongtillbedtime]

My 13 yr old has a sporty hobby which he spends nearly all of his spare time either doing or editing videos of him doing it. This is a fine thing, he is keeping very active which is something we are happy about and actually the videos are pretty good too.

However it is a hobby that only a few of his local friends are interested in , he has made other friends a bit further afield who seem as obsessed as he is and I am happy for them to come here for the day or for him to go there but there are a few of them now talking about having a meet up in the summer and staying at someone's house who I haven't met . Obviously I would meet them on the day but other than that they will be a stranger .

My first reaction is to say no way but I don't know if I am over reacting or if he is really pushing it.

Up until now he has only stayed at homes where I have known the friends and the parents for a long time .

Is this just the age he is and a hurdle I just have to get over ?

My initial thoughts were no but then I remembered - Dd did an exchange visit in Spain this year, age 14. Some friends did it last year age 13. We had no contact with the parents beforehand at all, nor after. We'd met the boy as he stayed here for a week a few months previously. So is it really any different in some ways?

I still think I'd want to speak to the parents more and have some form of back up in place, etc.

So do you not let your 13 year olds go to stay with friends from school unless you know the parents? How do you manage that in secondary school?

I don't let my DC stay with people I don't know. In secondary it works the same as primary.

I let DD meet a friend in town yesterday. I spied from afar then jumped out from behind a car and introduced my self to the parent and we had a nice chat. I now know she's nice and normal, and she probably thinks I'm an overprotective nutter

I think phone call first and being prepared to take him home if you're not at all sure is the way to go, OP.

I'd also google the house on street view and FB/LinkedIn stalk the parents.

"I don't let my DC stay with people I don't know. In secondary it works the same as primary"

Up to what age?

18

As I work FT I've had to be pro active at getting to know other parents.

As my DC get older and sort out their own sleepovers I always text the other parents to thank them in advance for having my DC stay over. A teenager can get a long way in 24 hours! Other parents seem to be much more trusting of their DC, but I remember what I was like at that age.

I do that texting in advance to thank them too - just to make sure they aren't lying about where they are going.

But i don't feel the need to actually meet the parents.

If my DC were very clever they could fake it all I guess!

Wow. You don't let your children have sleepovers with families you don't know utill they are 18?????? That is, frankly, bizarre....

How do your children feel about not being trusted?