Teenage hovels

[MeganChips]

DD is 13 and her room is an absolute shit pit. She claims she likes it as it is and absolutely does not want me in there to clean it.

I'm torn between thinking it's her room and if she wants to live in squalor, let her and it's my house and I want it presentable! Every so often I cave and clean it but it's half a
days work and she's not happy about it.

It's not just untidy, it's dusty and it smells because she's a window refuser.

What do you do?

Its part of my home so I would not tolerate total squalor OP.

I don't think it has to be pristine OTOH.

Have you read the book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying by Marie Kondo. Maybe get that for her? Its a very short, sweet, simple book which a 13 year old could manage. The author has a sweet, almost childish and engaging style and, actually, its quite inspiring.

One thing I would suggest is that you tidying her room is wrong. She will never learn if you do it. How about do it together a few times? Marie Kondo makes the (fair) point that parents often say "tidy your room" to children and teenagers, but don't show them how! There is a skill and an art in it.

Tell her not to wreck the home she is so fortunate to have. That means ventilating , not leaving rotting food and dirty plates around , cleaning, doing
Laundry.

There is a difference between untidy and filthy skank.

I might check out that book, thanks. I have done it with her a few times now so I suppose I can just keep trying with that.

She doesn't leave plates or food in there, there is nothing rotting. It's paper, pens, craft stuff mostly. Trophies from her various sports activities that are dust magnets. It all just clutters up every single surface and gathers dust.

Don't get me started on the dust! DS dropped out of Uni after 1st year and came back home. He was told he was responsible for keeping his room and bathroom clean. It never happens unless I shout You could write your name in the dust on top of his headboard!

He spilt coffee down the side of his bed this morning and made a half hearted effort to clean it up. I went in there after he had gone to work and opened the window - it smells like Starbucks in there.

I think they like living in squalor - or they don't notice it. I do make a regular shout out for crockery though so no festering food in there at least !