Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you ever condone faking a sick day off school?

37 replies

TheDonald · 02/05/2017 21:49

Dd is in y10. She has excellent attendance (has missed 1.5 days since September). Tomorrow she has a non timetable day - a dragon's den style business day. They have to work as a team all day and then present their work to other groups. It's her idea of hell!

They have been put in groups based on the register and she is with a boy who sexually assaulted her friend last year, a girl who bullied her in y8 and 2 boys who are known to disrupt lessons. They were banned from swapping groups so no possibility of requesting another group. She's dreading it and begging me to let her stay off.

I'm tempted to let her. Wwyd?

OP posts:
BelleTheSheepdog · 03/05/2017 17:20

In those circs yes. It would be justified in my mind on mental health grounds to be frank.

BelleTheSheepdog · 03/05/2017 17:21

School days like that are nothing like real life ime.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 03/05/2017 17:30

Yes, day off. But don't lie about it. Write to the SLT the exact reasons why she won't be attending. Also, if there is a boy that is known to sexually assaulted someone, what the hell is he still doing at the school?

mammmamia · 03/05/2017 22:19

Yes I agree with telling the school why.
I don't agree that it's the same as having to go to work on a difficult day. In a usual office type job you wouldn't have to work as a team with that kind of group unless that was a core part of the job!

Sundance2741 · 03/05/2017 22:27

And if you were stuck with an awful team at work, you'd have the choice to approach your manager to sort it out or to look for another job. What choice do school kids have?

Mostly I'd be one to say go to school and deal with it but in this case I think it's fine to miss a day on mental health grounds. What would she be learning anyway?

Serendipper · 03/05/2017 22:35

I know it's too late now but just wanted to say that even when they say no changing groups a phone call from home will almost certainly get it done. My school give in to anything parents ask and for a lot less reason than you have!

swingofthings · 04/05/2017 06:13

I don't agree that it's the same as having to go to work on a difficult day. In a usual office type job you wouldn't have to work as a team with that kind of group unless that was a core part of the job!

Well some people are lucky, because I had to do so many times! As for the abuser, if he really had sexually assaulted the friend in a manner that would put her at risk, I would hope that he would have been reported and the incident investigated. I expect it was more a case of she said/he said.

As for the' bully', that was 2 years ago FGS. It really is no surprise that there is such an increase in teenagers and then young adults suffering from anxiety when such a common life situation is considered enough to avoid and lie to do so. My friend has worked for a Uni admission for 20 years and she says that the number of kids unable to cope with adjusting to Uni life is increasing year on year.

I'm glad that my kids know that the best way to tackle a stressful environment is to face it with a strategy, not take a victim approach to it and run away.

TimeforANewTwatName · 04/05/2017 07:15

I expect it was more a case of she said/he said

As for the' bully', that was 2 years ago FGS

Nice

gleam · 04/05/2017 09:57

'not take a victim approach'

Nice!

Funnyfarmer · 04/05/2017 11:14

I would let her. Wouldn't pull a sicky though. I'd tell the school exactly why she wasn't going in

swingofthings · 04/05/2017 11:35

So there is a sexual predator amongst these students, but nothing has happened. Does this mean that anytime a girl is likely to be involved in some group work with him, it would be acceptable to put a sickie? Surely if this is true, OP would need to encourage her daugher to lie, but actually escalating her concern that the school is allowing a sexual abuser to work close to girls without supervision.

As for working for a few hours with kids more than two years ago, surely that is not the end of the world. All she would need to do if they start to give her a hard time and is go to the teacher and report it.

I am clearly the only one to suspect that OP's DD is just having a strop because her friends get to be in the same group and she isn't and so exaggerated the situation to get out of it.

If the situation was so unacceptable, why lie and pretend to be ill rather than being totally honest with the school about the reason not to want to do it?

JustDanceAddict · 05/05/2017 08:39

I would mention to school why she is not going in - and if they want her in they need to change the group.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page