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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

12yo and period on holiday

53 replies

PookieDo · 27/04/2017 07:43

DD has been tracking her periods and will get hers on holiday with her DF next month. She's so stressed about this. Does anyone know if the GP will give her utlovan or if it's safe?

OP posts:
oklumberjack · 27/04/2017 10:51

OP, don't feel bad for considering Norethisterone. It doesn't mean your dd will learn that periods aren't a normal part of life.

My dd still copes well with her periods during pe, trips away etc. We just felt that she was too inexperienced to cope with a full on period on a school trip for a week where water sports were the main activity. She's never asked again and if she does, I'll suggesting tamping instead as she's a year on in age.

2014newme · 27/04/2017 10:51

Just get the meds then surely?

Original poster
PookieDo · 27/04/2017 10:58

I've booked an appointment sorry I just feel defensive because I am not avoiding trying to teach her how to cope with them

I think some girls have the confidence others don't

OP posts:
ElinorRigby · 27/04/2017 10:58

She sounds as if she is finding periods hard to manage.

Perhaps it would be useful to
a) give her some practise in handwashing clothing and swimwear. It's useful to wash out swimwear anyway as chlorine from pools smells bad - so washing stuff out/hanging it to dry is normal.
b) make sure she has a few changes of bikinis/swimming costumes
c) ask if any of her friends use tampons. It might be that she finds it easier to talk about these matters with her mates and get advice from them.
d) inform her father of whatever decisions are reached i.e. - 'She's taking medication so that her period doesn't start while she's on holiday.' Or 'Her period may start during the holiday.. If so, she may be affected in the following ways.;

mousymary · 27/04/2017 11:01

I agree that at 12 it's all a bit difficult, especially when quite a few of your friends are not there yet. My mum was crap at that sort of thing and told me, "You'll have one every month." Well, to me at 12 years old that meant on the 1st Jan, 1st Feb, 1st March etc etc - I had no idea that every month meant calendar month. Obviously I was caught out repeatedly. And back in my day there was no advice save for a few cryptic bits and pieces on the Cathy & Claire page in Jackie.

oklumberjack · 27/04/2017 11:05

I've just remembered my dd was 10 when she started and 11 on the school trip.

I don't blame you for one minute for going to the GP. I did the same.

I feel slightly defensive too. My dd copes great with periods. It's just At 10/11 she grew to 5ft 4, had 30E cup boobs and was a woman's size 10. She felt pretty much 'other' amoungst her peer group as it was, just throw a messy period into a water sports school trip on top of that (when she was uncomfortable trying tampons. At 11? Yes, I would be too) - it was just too much too soon,

Fluffybrain · 27/04/2017 13:23

Sounds like the hormones are a good solution for your DD OP. Of course you cannot force her to use tampons. It took me a couple of years before I felt ready to use them. I hope she enjoys her holiday.

Hoppinggreen · 27/04/2017 13:26

Given your updates then yes I would go to the GP and see what they say

JustDanceAddict · 28/04/2017 08:03

I'd ask for the meds. I took
It when I was due on for a city break a few years ago and didn't want to worry re changing every 5 mins! Did is 14 and won't try tampons so she hasn't got that choice - I bought some for her but she couldn't do it - took me a long time too.

MummaGiles · 28/04/2017 08:14

Get the medication. I remember going on a Spanish exchange when I was in year 10, so much older than your DD, and having my period. It was horrible to deal with. We were at the beach for the day and I hated it. I didn't use tampons at the time so I just didn't know what to do. I'm in my 30s now and I still remember it. If you can avoid her having to cope with it on her own at 12 then do it.

specialsubject · 28/04/2017 13:31

Be aware that like all medication, it doesn't work for everyone. She may still bleed or bleed more. Hope not, but she has about forty years of this and there is no choice but to learn to cope.

At least no fool has come up with the bleeding stops in water nonsense (aka 'I flicked my hair through school and so am too stupid to understand gravity')

Original poster
PookieDo · 28/04/2017 15:05

I bought her tampons and told her to at least try them. She hasn't tried yet. She has her period currently.

OP posts:
AlpacaLypse · 28/04/2017 15:11

I use norestithelone to avoid period and beach/pool holiday clash situations and suggested to both teenage dds that it would be a good idea for them too. Our GP has been totally supportive about prescribing, and none of us have suffered any side effects.

You do need to remember to take it at the right times, do you think she'll manage that bit?

TheWeevilincidentof2009 · 28/04/2017 15:13

Don't feel the need to get defensive, OP. I'm glad you started this thread. My 12 year old is in a similar situation and I didn't know GPs would prescribe this medication.

Ignore those who say you should let her free bleed all over the Med Hmm

Please let us know what your GP says.

Original poster
PookieDo · 28/04/2017 16:46

Unfortunately I haven't been able to set the best example of women dealing easily with periods as mine are pretty horrific and debilitating. I'm waiting for fibroid surgery this year. I tried utlovan but it makes it worse so I have to use tranexamic acid when I bleed.

If GP gives it to her we can chat about her taking it, she could set an alarm on her phone maybe

OP posts:
Polichinelle · 01/05/2017 07:26

I get Norethisterone online to delay my periods when convenient. No side effects at all. As she's so young, she probably needs to see a GP, but otherwise Lloyds pharmacy online just sends them through the post

VestalVirgin · 01/05/2017 11:33

Had I known this kind of medication existed, I'd have had much more fun in my teenage years! (I missed a class trip by pretending illness when in fact I was just worried I might bleed on the bed in the youth hostel.)

Definitely get it for her and don't feel bad about it.

(I eventually bought a pair of those liquid-proof underpants someone on mumsnet recommended for this problem, and they're enough for my needs, as I don't go swimming. )

AnyFucker · 01/05/2017 11:39

I would have no issue with her taking medication to delay her period but I feel the major point is being missed here

I would not allow my daughter to go on holiday with someone who is not willing or able to parent her effectively. Part of parenting a girl is that you help her deal with periods. Is there a bigger back story here ?

Original poster
PookieDo · 01/05/2017 19:43

He's just a bit of an insensitive ignorant twat towards women/female issues. Well and probably sex/sexual organs and that kind of thing. He tends to say stupid things with no awareness of how a young girl might feel about it, like periods are a bit dirty, or giggle and tease over it. Some of it is embarrassment on his part. He's otherwise a safe parent - he is very conscientious about safety etc. Unfortunately I have no power to prevent the holiday as I have no court ordered agreements in place as like I say, this by itself is not really a strong enough reason to go down that path.

I just try to make their time with their dad stress free as I can about periods really. I have tried to talk to him but he got embarrassed and made a bit of a hash of it. He has found boobs/bras/periods/sex/boys/wearing make up difficult. We are all dreading what happens when one of them starts dating. Partly ignorance and some old fashioned views.

OP posts:
Original poster
PookieDo · 01/05/2017 19:43

He's my ex for many reasons and this is one of them

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 01/05/2017 19:46

He is a useless parent then. Although I acknowledge thst many useless parents are in charge of childten.

bjhgj · 01/05/2017 19:47

I'm a fully grown adult who can't use tampons (painful and everything ends up covered in blood...) and I've always just stayed away from the water when I've been unlucky. I didn't even know this was an option!

Original poster
PookieDo · 01/05/2017 20:54

He has elements of being a useless parent for sure. It's just never seemed useless enough to stop or prevent them all spending time together. He wants to take them on holiday which overall isn't terrible. I just have to do all the emotional parenting and that's the way he is. DC old enough to know this for themselves now

OP posts:
Original poster
PookieDo · 06/05/2017 11:13

They gave it to her but it was long winded as she gets migraines with aura like I do, so unlikely she can ever take the contraceptive pill long term. Initially GP was going to give her an alternative but looking into it said the risk might be low. DD wasn't very helpful when it came to describing her migraines either! But it made me realise she will have the same lifetime as me of avoiding oestrogen!

OP posts:
AuditAngel · 06/05/2017 12:48

I think you've had some great advice, and you are bring very practical.

I wish. Had been able to do something like this when I was your DD's age, and how great she can talk to you about it.

You say "they" does she have a sibling going? Older or younger?

I think the advice about washing out her swimsuits is good as it protects the colour and the elastic, as well as reducing smells. Let her know to use cold water to rinse blood out if she does have a leak.

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