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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Dd struggling to insert tampons.

49 replies

snozzlemaid · 05/04/2017 18:55

Can't believe I've just handed my tube of ky jelly to help her insert a tampon!
She's 15 and has never been able to get one in but really wants to start using them. We've had a chat about it and I've tried to get her to relax but she always gets in such a state about these things. She's probably too tense so I thought some lube might help.
This is one of those things you don't think having to deal with when you decide to have a baby!

OP posts:

JustSpeakSense · 05/04/2017 20:57

I would suggest trying when she isn't actually menstruating, also agree with one leg up on the bath or toilet.

Perhaps when she is alone at home and the house is quite and she feels relaxed. (Not helpful for imminent swimming trip)

Finger first (to determine the correct angle) and then lots of KY.

Ollivander84 · 05/04/2017 21:00

Lil lets are the only ones I could use, the applicator ones
I didn't realise why everyone raved about tampons as I just leaked down the side of them. Discovered lil lets and was off
Maybe get her to try lying on her bed with knees up? I'm trying not to sound grim here! Or use her finger to feel or a mirror to look? Or squatting down. And aim towards her back, find an anatomy pic online?

onesupplied · 05/04/2017 21:03

Squatting also helps - I still bend my knees to get tampons in comfortably now. Tampax compak are easy as they have a plastic applicator.

UppityHumpty · 05/04/2017 21:06

I can't get them in either. I think lillets are the thinnest ones so if they don't go in tampons probably won't work.

JustDanceAddict · 05/04/2017 21:23

Took me quite a few months to master the art - was so happy when it worked - but I had used pads for about 5 years by then!! I also did the foot in side of bath method. DD won't try really although she had a go before a holiday it freaked her out.

wobblywonderwoman · 05/04/2017 21:28

I struggled with them at 18 when I first used.

I think you have to be at the heaviest part of your flow to really get a good chance of being successful..

Can't believe people are saying its vile and all of that. IG a mum cannot post an honest question what is the point of it being a support thread for parents

wobblywonderwoman · 05/04/2017 21:28

If a mum

redjoker · 05/04/2017 21:31

I always struggled and have never actually been able to use them. Very annoying in swimming situations as a teenager so understand why she wants to. I'd say foot up on the bath and 'get to know' the area with your fingers first before trying to just poke it up!

onesupplied · 05/04/2017 21:33

But tbh I didn't get au fait with tampons until sexually active and much more comfortable and aware of myself down there. It's ok to reassure her that pads are perfectly fine. I bet if her friends say they all use tampons some of them are lying.

gamerchick · 05/04/2017 21:36

I don't think DD has any great awareness of anything other than the entrance of her vagina. In your position I would have skipped the KY and inserted the first one for her. Then she'll be off and away

That's just seriously all kinds of fucked up shit right there man

Maybe lying on her back might help?

NoParticularPattern · 05/04/2017 21:37

I remember really struggling with them until I finally twigged that a) things do not just go straight up and down. Definitely not and b) my vagina actually goes very slightly to the left which now I've realised, means that tampons are slightly uncomfortable unless I rotate them or move them to the right a little.

As PP suggested I would let her have a few tries under her own steam. Not helpful for the swimming I know, but the pressure of needing to do it asap for swimming won't be helping. It might also help to give her several options brand wise. I used to use tampax and was a little "meh" about them all, but then was introduced to lilets and I've not looked back. They are tinier and much much easier to insert, plus the string is much more comfortable.

shirleycartersaidso · 05/04/2017 21:40

I couldn't get on with them until I started having sex and I really tried -
Competitive swimmer.

reluctantlondoner · 05/04/2017 21:41

Tell her to push it further "up" / "in" - she's probably not putting it in far enough so it won't feel comfortable.

TommyandGina · 05/04/2017 21:54

I don't use them now but when I first wanted to use one I inserted a cotton bud, just to find the angle I needed

FATEdestiny · 05/04/2017 22:08

My (competitive swimmer 10 year old) daughter sat on the toilet in tears pleading with me to put a tampon in for her.

I didn't, it felt wrong. But she really, really wanted me to and was very upset because I was her only option, she couldn't do it, and I said it was important she did it herself.

Why is everyone do appalled at the suggestion? You don't need to shame the girls and mums who have felt that way. Desperate young girls often look to their mums to help them.

In the end she goes swimming while on her period without any sanitary protection, she just cannot insert anything in there and I am not going to stop her going swimming because of her periods. I am sure that will lead to a load on handbag clutching too.

TheGrumpySquirrel · 05/04/2017 22:13

FATE my mum did try to help me with a tampon at first, too. I couldn't do it so asked her to help. Neither of us managed! I don't think it's vile or weird. She's my mum! Obviously I was 11 or 12 then. I haven't been traumatised by the experience!

Aria2015 · 05/04/2017 22:21

I started on tampons as soon as I started my period. They are tricky to get the hang of. The best too my mother gave was not to apply them sitting on the toilet but to have one leg up on the toilet seat and one on the floor. 20 years later if I have trouble getting one in sitting I try this and it's always so much easier. I think it must just be the way it angles your body. Anyway - that's my tampon tip of the day!

highinthesky · 05/04/2017 22:29

That's just seriously all kinds of fucked up shit right there man hmm confused

I have no issue with inserting objects into women's vaginas - in fact it's a frequent occurrence - and there is no reason why I shouldn't attend to DDs personal care if she needs help when the time comes. It just another routine procedure and hardly comparable to a speculum.

I also remember being in awe that my best friend at school never used STs as her mum had given her tampons from day 1 and inserted the first one for her. (That was over 30 years ago, and her DM was a nurse).

AnnieAnoniMouse · 05/04/2017 22:39

I got very, very frustrated not being able to do it. I swam a lot and it was very inconvenient not being able to insert a tampon.

I still have problems at the start & end of my period if I'm (sorry TMI) wet enough inside & lube doesn't help. She might find that if her period isn't heavy enough she just can't. I still cannot use applicator tampax.

If I really need to use one, but I'm strugling to insert one, I find lying on the bed on my side helps. Plus knowing whether it's going in the right direction or not helps. Some people laugh at that and think 'there's only one way for it to go!' Whilst that's basically true, for those of us who struggle - angle is everything.

I wasn't very close to my mum as a teen, but even I asked her if she would do it for me. I was THAT desperate. Thank fuck she said 'no', I think the resultant trauma would have been awful.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 05/04/2017 22:52

FATE. I was 13/14 when I asked my Mum, so quite different I think to a 10yo, and as I say, we weren't/aren't close, but there's no right/wrong answer I don't think, if both of you are ok about it. I mean it's not like you haven't changed a million of her nappies, bathed her & put cream on her bum.

Still, if it's all going ok swimming without right now, then go for it. I'd have been too worried about the blood in the water & everyone knowing at a pool, but I swam without in the sea. In a dark costume & a dark towel nearby just in case.

Poor little mites shouldn't be having to deal with all of this at 9/10/11 etc

Original poster

snozzlemaid · 05/04/2017 22:59

Thanks for all helpful tips.
She absolutely would not want me to actually help her.
Yes she's using the tiniest tamax pearl with plastic applicator. She's also tried non applicator but found them much harder.
I've told her to try again when she's relaxed and at home on her own. I've explained and demonstrated the best positions.
The lube helped as she got it part way in. I've suggested she has a feel around and uses her finger first.
Swimming is off for tomorrow but I'm sure she'll keep trying.

OP posts:

Original poster

snozzlemaid · 05/04/2017 23:00

Thanks MrsPacMan. I didn't actually ask a question did I? So I get where you were coming from now.

OP posts:

Glitteryunicorn · 05/04/2017 23:06

Try the small non applicator ones I can't do applicators I just can't make them work even after 20 years I can never get them in right. Non applicator not a problem.

Thinkicanhelp · 27/03/2018 15:17

If you or they are having problems inserting the tampon. Lay a towl on your bed and then lay in your back with the tampon ready. Find the opening and slowly insert the tampon until it feels like it's in. Take your time getting up and walking around getting used to the feeling. Do this every month until it is natural and once you've got it start changing the way you out it in.

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