Ideas for holiday with older teen boys 14 & 17? (Without insects or fish...)

[Jng1]

Older teen is spending a week away with friends early July but wants to come with us too (is quite home-loving, not particularly party-type boy!)

Younger teen has some general anxiety issues, especially to do with insects (won't sleep in a room with any kind of insect in!) and fish (won't swim/sail in sea). Strange and difficult, I know, but that's how it is. Ho hum. So that basically rules out far-flung places, jungle, safari etc and sailing/watersports holidays.

So we all want to go away, but can't agree where/what. DS2 is also quite vocal about what he DOESN'T want to do, so:

• no 'traipsing around French towns/markets' (we have done a lot of that over the years )
• no city break type weeks in UK (boring apparently)

DH & I really struggling to think of something for July/August which will
a) still be available
b) not send DS2 into a tizz
c) be fun as possibly a last family holiday for DS1

We're outdoorsy, but not particularly sporty. In winter we enjoy skiing. Thought of alpine/hiking holidays, but just seems a bit dull/ for retirees!

Any ideas/suggestions?

OP you are sounding a Little bit first world problem tbh!

We don't really want something where DH & I have to be the 'tour guides' or event organisers, even if it's just 'let's go for xyz hike today' as it always ends up with arguments if it is at all negotiable e.g. DH will want to leave at 8 am and teens will want to stay in bed until 9 am.... It needs to be pre-agreed/arranged I think.
Not really into the whole tennis court/ zip wire/archery thing - kids have done lots of that in the past for school/scouts etc.
Don't really want to risk a chalet holiday with babies/toddlers (and it wouldn't be very different from skiiing).
DH says he would feel 'trapped' on a cruise!

I like the idea of something quite culturally different. Oriental would be good. DH wants to go to Japan but I'm worried it will be hot & overcrowded (but I'm aware I am very ignorant about this and need to research).

GreenOlives - who did you travel with - would you recommend them?

Send them on a cycling holiday and you go somewhere nice with a book?

(Or act as the driver for the cycling trip through a nice part of France or similar, you still get evenings en famille but solo afternoons as you'll be so much quicker than them)

CherylVole Yes, I know, but tbh I won't relax if DS2 is anxious and I won't get to relax if DH is grumpy . Actually, DS1 & I are most flexible ones...
It's such a big outlay of cash, it's worth trying to get it right for everyone, eh?

It's sad to dismiss a whole group of countries on what you perceive to be happenenig there when you might all have a fantastic time. Cutting off your nose etc. (Uae) - I've read all the threads on why people hate it but really, what do you think will happen or what happens there doesn't happen in other countries?

In that case I would do an organized adventure holiday, specifically targeted at teens. Peru is perfect at that time of year.

www.familyadventurecompany.co.uk/tours/teens-trail

www.exodus.co.uk/peru-holidays/family/inca-amazon-family-adventure/fnp-97831

Or Borneo? Costa Rica? Sri Lanka? Yes, Asia will be hot and sticky, basically.

Sri Lanka - private tour is relatively cheap. Loads to see and do. Amazing food and wildlife.

We went with this:

rodneytours.com/tours.html and booked our own flights and determined an itinerary and where to stay.

You must stay at the Kandalama if you go.

Have sent you a pm

Would ds2 be ok on a large ship? If so, can strongly recommend baltics cruise with celebrity. So much for everyone to do if they wanted to and enough space for those of us who like to read in peace. First holiday when our teen who also suffers from anxiety and has expensive tastes joined in with other teens and we didn't really see him apart from at dinner time.

i would HATE a cruise
all those shitty people and dressing for dinner

In fairness the uae is pretty hideous at the best of times let alone in peak summer heat.

We didn't dress for dinner - it is very relaxed on Celebrity - but those that fancy it were very welcome to dress up.

Japan is good fun bur vile weather in july/august. Very humid and cloudy and very little sun. Best time to go is april/may or September.

Leave DH and DS2 at home and take DS1 for a holiday you and he would like to do?

Everything seems to be focused on what DS2 would or wouldn't like. Does your other child get a say, or does he just have to trail along making sure DS2 is happy too?

I'm sure DS2 would prefer not to be anxious and scared of insects and fish but yeah, lets just leave him out of the family holiday....

My DS1 ended up fainting in the opticians yesterday because he gets anxious and got too hot. I'd let him go into the room with the optician himself (he's 16) so he had to speak to her, it was warm and it all got a bit much. Maybe I shouldn't get him any glasses or contacts as a punishment?

How about something more cultural? When I was 18 as my last holiday with my parents we went on an organised tour round Italy, Food, art, history - it was amazing. Met other teenagers in the group too. No issue with insects or fish and a pre planned agenda so no arguments about that either.

We went to Iceland with our 13 and 16 year olds last Summer. Wonderful. We all enjoyed it. Booked via BA Holidays, stayed in Rekyavik 4 nights, went on organised trips (not something we usually do). All booked ahead of time so no negotiation and everyone was fine, despite having to get up early.

Glacier walk, climbed a mountain, walked behind a waterfall, whale watching, great food . Expensive

I would go back in a heartbeat, and maybe do it independently this time

... however, we are not as well-travelled as you! So this was a big adventure for us

WankersHacksandThieves Er, not sure what your DS's optician story has to do with anything but whatever - if you don't feel you should get him glasses or contacts, don't

The point was that you feel that someone with anxiety issues shouldn't have them considered when planning a holiday and should just be left behind and not catered for and also implied that his brother was then getting the shitty end of the stick. That's a pretty fucking awful attitude to have and to expect the boy's parent to have too.

I don't think it is a pretty fucking awful attitude to have, actually - to think that one child should not have his own feelings and desires considered because of the issues of another child. Why should he be catered for and not DS1? Actually, I think that's a pretty fucking awful attitude.

Who said that her elder son's needs, wants and desires were not being catered to? He is already having a holiday with friends but wants to come on the family holiday as well. OP is trying to find a holiday to suit the whole family that also takes account of her younger son's anxiety. You suggested that she just leave him and her DH behind. The only person who seems to think that one child is getting catered to above the other is you.

Do you think that the younger child is just being deliberately awkward just to spoil his siblings holiday?

Given the list of places they've been it doesn't sound like anyone has been disadvantaged and OP has indicated that this may be their last big family holiday.

It sounds like you are massively projecting your own issues tbh.

And yes it is shitty to tell someone to leave a child with anxiety issues behind and book a holiday without him.

DS1 is neither trailing or disadvantaged! It's just that as he tends to share a room with DS2 he often ends up on the front line for issues and meltdowns, so it's better for all if we can plan ahead and avoid them if possible.
I know we've been fortunate enough to have already had some wonderful holidays, but am just trying to find something different and special for what might be one of our last holidays together.

Japan could work well, or a cruise. Or driving up the east coast of America.