Needing you're help- 'Teenage mum'

[Lauren1988]

Does anyone think there is enough support for teenage parents? Like, after and before birth support groups?
Im training to be a journalist at the moment and im writing a feature on this topic. It's one close to my heart so im hoping to get some views from others in the situation or who have family/friends having a baby in their teens.

Thank you to anyone who can help,
lauren
x

[email protected]

Hi

I had my baby when I was 19 (she is now 15) but there was NO support before, during or after the birth!

I was pretty much left to fend for myself but I was lucky as I lived at home and my parents were fantastic. If I can be any help, do let me know

Sarah x

Hiya sarah, thank you for youre reply. If you could send me an email at [email protected] that would be brilliant. I tryed to contact you through this website but i couldnt.

Thank you again!
Lauren
x

oops that email address isnt comming up so if you do get a chance email, [email protected]

I am the (no 37) third daugter of a teenage mum. I was the third in three years (1st at 17) and my mum was left alone pretty much all of the time. My dad was a dead loss, and she struggled for years. On the other hand, my DSS had a child at 17 (at the same time as I had my DS, but thats another can of worms!), and she has had so muh support its amazing. Courses and teenage parent schools that she hasn't finsihed. She has one daughter, her schedule: on monday one nan has her, tue PM, wed AM, thur allday and fri pm she goes to nursery, every other weekend her mum (baby gp) has her... and she feels she doesn't get a break!

sorry, 37 yo, not 37th child!

Hi,
I was a mum at 15 I now have 5 boys. I couldn't be happier. But when I was pregnant I wouldn't leave the house because of the looks and comments made by older ladies, I felt so ashamed. He was also born 12 wks prem and spent 15 months in hospital with major problems. Everyone ashamed that I was a S**g and must have been sleeping around etc.. but I had been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we are still together now!!
Society in general needs to be aware that these things happen, and should support teenage mums with parenting help and also how to deal mentally with the looks and comments of disgust because it drags you down. I think that teenagers need educating they are young adults not 5 year olds, we cant dictate to them but can only educate and help when things go wrong.
Sorry for the long post but I feel passoinatley about this.

had my kids at 17/19/22and 24

had quite a few negative comments with the first 2
but now i get people who are having first babies in their 30s saying they wish they had done it when tey were young..and no i dont regret it.

If you are planning on using the stories you get for publication, i think you owe Mumsnet a fee

im 18 yo, an my daughter is 3months and 3weeks old, her name is Skye, any1 wanna chat? xxxxx :O

Finger in the mash, she is training to be a journalist - probably at college. If she's not getting paid for it herself, wouldn't it be nice if people could just help her out?

Just one more thing. If she really is training to be a journalist she should perhaps learn how to spell & correctly use apostrophes

Hi, I had my first son at just 15. I know have 5 boys, all wonderful although not without our problems

I just want to say that at the time I found it very hard, because of the older generation looking down there nose at me and making stupid remarks. It made a hard time even harder.
I didnt have any support from outside but my mum, dad and boyfriend were great and still are
I am now 30 I have been married for 11 yrs and with the same guy since 14 yrs of age.

Being a teenage mum was extremley difficult but worth every piece of heart ache, sleepless nghts.

He is now 15 studying for his GCSE's, I did go through a stage of serious regret when all my friends were going out every weekend and having so much fun. But now its my turn ;) I went back to college last year to study hairdressing at level 2, and I am now studying for My level 3, so I am now building a life, im not just a mum and wife..

I am lucky that I have had so much love and support from my family, being a teenage mum is very hard, but i believe a teenage mum can do as good a job at raising children as a 30 something mum.

Kel xx

I have a friend who is involved in the running of a peer education group regarding teenage pregnancy. They also run a toddler group for young mums. I don't know a great deal about it, but I can put you in touch with her if you think it'll help?

i had dd1 at 16 dd2 at 17 and ds1 at 19, i had a m/c 5 weeks ago (i am 23) and i am ttc number 4. I had no help after any of them.

i had ds when i was 17. i carried on at school right up until the day i had him cos i was doing my a levels. everyone told me to take a gap year but i thought i knew best so off i trotted off to uni when ds was 3 months old. within 4 months i didn't want to be there anymore but i carried on for another 4 months basically just doing nothing. so now i've taken a year or two out so i can figure out what i want to do. there is help out there for young mums but i couldn't take it because i was at college. they had teen ante natal classes at 1pm on a monday lunch time and teen aqua fit classes on a wed lunch time. i asked the mw why they couldn't be at say 5pm when everyone could attend and she said tbh you're the only 1 whos at college. i wouldn't worry i don't think you'd fit in anyway however after the birth there wasn't any specific help. there was if you lived in a surestart area but i don't - don't even get me started on that!!! why does it go on where you live, not how much income you have? my mw was lovely and very understanding but my hv is very snooty and always looks down her nose at me. i met her when ds was 3 weeks old at the doctors and she told me when the baby clinic was. i never went. i bought my own set of scales so i could keep an eye on his weight myself. i really don't think being snooty is a good quality to have when your a hv.

my mum does help out a lot. she has ds mon, tue, wed, sat night while i am at work. and cos i live with her she wouldn't mind babysitting as soon as ds slept through which luckily for me was pretty much straight away as long as i put him to bed first. sometimes she will even get up with him without me realising and i wake up all surprised cos i've had a lie in.

nappy addict - I was in a similar position to you - I had my son when I was 18, went to Uni when he was 6 months old, used my mum for a lot of help and got a hardship payment from the uni to help pay for the uni nursery for 3 mornings a week - mum had cancer so couldn't have him full time. I had ace friends at uni who got notes if when didn't make a class and a very understanding tutor who even let me bring him in at one year old when I had to attend tutorials! Left uni and got a job miles from home and got really into debt trying to pay for house and a nursery - then when he started school he had 8 different childminders. All this was worth it - my son is now confident, independent and so aware of the world, he makes me so proud of him every day. I found there was no support for me too, but now I look back and think how great me and Joseph were despite those comments and lack of help! Best wishes for you and all the potential in your future
xxx

wow ds would not sit through a seminar!! he'd be wanting to crawl around and shout baa baa at everyone.

hehehe! I was lucky, he was sleeping that time! I've just been looking at your pictures on your profile - he is so gorgeous! My son is now all smelly PE kit and texting (sigh!) xxx

awww bless how old is he? i can't imagine ds being older than about 3!

he's 12 - 13 on Feb 14th! whatever age he has been, it has been my favourite! He is in the bathroom at the mo, hogging it, which is driving me mad as I am 11 weeks pg and need to get in there soon....