Delinquency at boarding schools

[Clairey471]

Are any parents having problems with delinquency in at boarding schools? Our 14 year old daughter is in her first year at a mixed, predominantly boys boarding school. So far, she and the other girls have been caught drinking and smoking. They've taken drugs at parties and they have regularly deceived both school and parents to attend parties in London with children in the years above. 40 of them were caught trying doing DIY tattoos in the school with shared needles. They've regularly been disobedient and unruly around the school and they aren't paying attention to their school work. If this was just our daughter, it would be one thing but it seems to be a gang of girls misbehaving together and egging each other on. We don't know whether to pull her out of the school or whether we'll just see the same behaviour elsewhere...Anyone with similar experience?

I agree with what people have said here about it being a pack problem. And I afraid it is the school's problem as the tattooing, and mug drinking and smoking has been going on at school. We have spoken to several other parents whose children are in the same group of children getting into trouble. Most of the other parents are perfectly respectable parents who do not have parenting problems. A major disadvantage of boarding school is one's inability to vet the other parents/ other pupils, and to understand school dynamics. (And for those of us who have to work abroad, we have no option but boarding school.) When the school Year group are all invited to a party which isn't properly supervised, then the children get sucked into all sorts of bad behaviour. And that sets the bar for behaviours that continue at school and other parties. And when an older pupil offers to sell drugs to a younger pupil, whether it is in school or out, I think the school has to get involved. I was particularly shocked by the manners of the school friend who came home on exeat who snuck out of our house in the middle of the night to go up to London. What an appalling way to behave! She won't be coming again...

Wow is anyone else not really shocked by this? If this were on a council estate your responses would surely be different, we all did stupid stuff as kids but combined this is too much. I'd take your DD out of that school

Gosh. This is definitely not going on at my school. It wouldn't be tolerated, but actually the house mistresses/ masters put in a lot of work to create a particular culture.

Before I taught here, I had no idea why parents might send their kids to a boarding school. In our case, I can genuinely say that the boarding team (none of whom have any children of their own) put so much effort into planning the relationships and attitudes of the children. I've literally seen them planning the evenings like I'd plan a lesson.

HOWEVER, in the (very exclusive and expensive) boarding school round the corner I understand each house parent has one of those infrared light machines for checking the toilets. I understand drugs are a massive problem mainly because the kids have such a high disposable income and little supervision at home.