Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Do I push my 12 yo to have braces?

64 replies

WalkingSense · 14/03/2017 08:10

My 12 yo son has just seen the orthodontist. His canines are much higher up than the rest of his front teeth, and his bottom front teeth are seriously wonky. But, as not a single one is more than 4mm out of line (3 mm in 2 places doesn't count) it's not on the NHS. My son doesn't see the point: all that effort and who needs a beautiful smile? And his teeth may get decay earlier, but hey, they may not. I think most people nowadays do have beautiful smiles, and he doesn't realise people judge you for this. Besides, it's not just 1 wonky tooth, these canines really define his smile. Do I make it compulsory? How to convince him? Or is it just not important?

OP posts:
LooksBetterWithAFilter · 17/03/2017 08:39

Dd's orthodontist wouldn't do then unless she was fully on board because it is a huge commitment and can be painful and uncomfortable. I couldn't have made her as much as I wanted to because he simply wouldn't do it unless she agreed wholeheartedly.
My friend wishes her mum had pushed her harder when she was offered at aged 12. She spent her whole adult life wishing she had done it and got them at 30. It was a long battle to get them as she did get them on the NHS but it took her teeth getting worse over the years for her to get the funding for it. She hated having braces but loves the end result.

Ilovefffffffridays · 17/03/2017 08:46

encourage him to have a brace. I really really regret not having had my brace. My mum said it was my decision. I wish she had made me. I regret this decision immensely, I hate my teeth, i always feel people will judge my teeth, I hate smiling and photos, and this is 20 yrs later. If my dc are advised to have a brace, i will want them to have one.
Everyone notices teeth - they are so important.

swingofthings · 17/03/2017 08:48

And just to add, having braces can be a life long commitment. DD followed the advice of the orthodontist and made sure she wore her retainer every hours after they were taken off and then every night for a couple of years. She then did it only a few days a week as she was told. Well two further years on and she has a small gap again between her front teeth. It's ok and we won't do anything about it, but ideally, she would need to go through it again and have retainers for life.

I went private so did get the retainer for life behind my teeth. I was told that I shouldn't need to use the hard retainers any longer after 6 months, but I do still wear them every night. It takes not wearing them for 2 or 3 nights (forgot to take them when we went away) and the retainer felt much tighter when I wore again.

All this to say that it is commitment that needs to be decided by the person who has to abide to it. Of course there is the issue of NHS vs private funding, but in the case of OP son, they are not illegible for NHS anyway, so unless the issue gets much worse quickly, they might as well wait until it is something he really wants to do for himself.

intheknickersoftime · 17/03/2017 08:52

Well i had the conversation again with my 12 year old son and he was in tears about it. I'm a bit Hmm at a pp who said, my DD had them, i made the decision and that's that. If only parenting was that simple.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 17/03/2017 08:56

Unless he's fully on board with it I'd leave it - it's a time consuming process involving lots of nagging even if they are keen. And when the treatment is over you have the nightly nag about the retainers that they never bloody wear.

intheknickersoftime · 17/03/2017 09:02

That's made me feel better to be honest. My DD is ,14 and just had them. She's really happy and taking photos everyday of her teeth Grin. My son is not on board at all.

moomin4071 · 17/03/2017 09:02

I had really bad buck teeth and crowded lower teeth and large overbite. I was bullied throughout school and did have removable braces to move my jaw as a teen but didn't wear them because they were large and uncomfortable and made my speech etc bad and I had enough problems at school with people been absolutely arseholes and didn't need anymore shit.
Fast forward to my early 20s I go get a private consult and end up been referred to the dental hospital as I needed surgery to get a good result.
2 years of train tracks and 1 huge surgery breaking, repositioning and fixing both my jaws I now have an amazing smile and facial profile and am completely in love with it. Luckily I didn't have to pay but I was expecting to pay 4500 for just braces.
My advice to anyone would be to get braces and get them done. It's a small amount of discomfort for a lifelong result GrinGrin

PolterGoose · 17/03/2017 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chippednailvarnishing · 17/03/2017 09:04

Second set of braces going on next month. £3.5k!

plutohasfeelingstoo · 17/03/2017 09:04

I regret not having braces too. My teeth aren't particularly wonky at all but could have been perfectly straight if i'd have had braces. I said I didn't want them and my parents didn't push it. It's a tough one though, I'd try and encourage him but I guess you cant force him.

chunk14 · 17/03/2017 09:05

I had lots of dental work as a child to straighten and close a big gap in my front teeth and bring my bottom jaw forward. This involved having lots of different braces and not the nice invisible ones you get today. I can honestly say although I hated it at the time it was the best thing ever to see my lovely straight teeth at the end of it and made it all worth while.

OnceUponATimeInLondon · 17/03/2017 09:06

Agree with Footsteps and many others, I wish wish wish my parents had made me when I was a teenager, as it's a lot harder and more expensive to correct as an adult. He won't regret it, I really would push him.

vaginasuprise · 17/03/2017 09:13

Having had 2 16 year olds suffer train tracks I wouldn't push any child. I'd just wait a couple of years and ask again. The waiting list here was 18 months so that needs to be considered too.

swingofthings · 17/03/2017 09:34

Wonder if there is also a gender issue with this, with female much more caring about the cosmetic aspect of their teeth compared to boys.

He might not regret having had the braces when looking at the results, he might regret being in a position of having no say over what is essentially his body and his choice. Again, we are not talking life saving surgery, we are talking about something cosmetic that he can do anytime he is ready for.

OP, if your boys is in tears over it, please please don't force him. He could end up resenting you and distancing himself from you as he enter teenagehood. It's not worth it.

intheknickersoftime · 17/03/2017 10:09

Swing, it was me who talked about my son being in tears and I've hijacked the thread so apologies to the op. I can empathise though and was going to start a thread myself. I think i am going to delay it for now and then reassess Smile

MinniesAndMickeysNeedCounting · 17/03/2017 10:12

My dd 12 has just had her orthodontist appointment last week, she's been asking our dentist for a couple of years to be referred.

I'm relieved she wanted them done. They need to remove 2 teeth and she's worried about that.

They've told her she'll need to wear a retainer at night for life but notice others on the thread are saying different things, is that something that varies from orthodontist to orthodontist or does it depend on the misalignment of the teeth?

My bottom teeth are wonky and wish I'd had them straightened but can't afford it now.

sonlypuppyfat · 17/03/2017 10:12

My DD is still in bed now getting over an extraction from yesterday, she had one out last week. And quite frankly it's been awful and she's a big tough 16yr old. I wouldn't want my 12 yr old go through it

tasmaniandevilchaser · 17/03/2017 10:16

I'm having braces now as an adult, I really wish I'd had them for free on the NHS as a child! My teeth have moved more out of place as I've got older. His teeth will only get worse not better. I haven't found it at all painful if that's what he is worried about. However you really need to commit to proper thorough cleaning every single day. I would not give up on the conversation just yet.

crazycatgal · 17/03/2017 10:17

I had braces to sort my teeth and bring my bottom jaw forward from the age of 10 - 15, at first I really hated my parents for making me have them, but as I got later in the treatment I was happy that I'd had them. I also didn't experience any tooth decay.

swingofthings · 17/03/2017 10:56

intheknickoftime, my fault should pay more attention!

Minnies, DD has her braces about 4 years ago and I think they have changed the advice, exactly because of teeth still moving years later. She made an appointment 6 months ago to ask about what could be done and saw a new orthodontist who asked her why she'd stopped wearing her retainer. She told him that that's what she'd been told at the time. I felt sorry for her because she was so diligent wearing it, day and night. Her teeth are fine with only a small gap, but keeping an eye on it and will unfortunately have to pay this time if it continues to grow. Strangely, even though she wouldn't need to have them as long as previously as gap is small, the price is the same!

I was told that as I have a fixed retainer at the back of my teeth, I wouldn't need to continue to wear my night retainer, but I do notice the difference when I don't wear it, so a year on, I continue to do so.

MinniesAndMickeysNeedCounting · 17/03/2017 12:29

Thanks swings thats really helpful Smile

CancellyMcChequeface · 17/03/2017 16:21

I have slightly wonky, overcrowded teeth and made the decision not to have braces as a teenager. I don't regret it and I'm not particularly self-conscious about my teeth - they're clean and healthy, with very few fillings, which is what matters. I'm not aware of others judging me for how they look, and if they do, the fault lies with those people for caring too much about appearances anyway.

By all means encourage your son to have braces, and stress the benefits of it, but I think it's wrong to insist on it. They're his teeth, and braces are long-term and can cause considerable pain and discomfort. Having bits of metal in your mouth is intrusive! As other posters have said, it's cosmetic, not medically necessary, and he can have them later in life if he chooses to.

fannydaggerz · 17/03/2017 16:31

My parents didn't push me for braces and here I am, well into my 30s and have paid just over £3000 for my braces but my teeth are looking great.

YoullTakeGroatsOfCourse · 17/03/2017 16:33

I have some overcrowding due to ignoring wisdom teeth as I felt too poor to go for treatment then.

Always have kept my teeth and gums well looked after according to dentists but now at 45 I am finding its the overcrowded area where issues are occuring. I wish I had paid just for one extraction!

Other teeth were managed by orthodontist during my schooldays and are holding up very well.

It's not just for cosmetic reasons in my view.

OnceUponATimeInLondon · 18/03/2017 13:13

About it being painful and difficult when younger, again I from experience having had work done both when a teenager and older, I would say you heal more quickly and better when younger. Your teeth are more easily moved (even if it doesn't feel that way), and recovery is quicker.

Also about the expense being the same at both times, again, as it takes longer to move more established teeth treatment time can just end up being longer, and costing more in appointments.

Swipe left for the next trending thread