My DD14 seems to be out of control at the moment with her self control and it's having a profound impact at school. It is always rude, snappy, flying off the handle incidents where she shows little respect to teachers or pupils. When questioned on these, she just says she feels out of control with her feelings and emotional reactions to stress and pressure. She's like this at home too with any demands. She's intelligent but has little concentration or appearing to not care which I am not sure is a front for feeling out of her depth and a bit lost with school work. I just don't know.
We have had 2 assessments with CAMHS and due to start therapy for self esteem and emotional behaviours very soon.
This is not a new teenage issue, it's a slow burning once since she was a toddler. She's always had very dramatic and fast emotional reactions to demands/stress/pressure.
School are on board with me at present and cooperative and although they keep punishing her with detentions, they haven't been overly hard on her. But she has made enemies from many teachers who dislike her lack of respect and once she knows they don't like her, she just seems to be adverse to them and behaves badly more (I don't blame them by the way).
I also punish her at home when it is appropriate but not overly so - I don't want her to feel like she has nothing but punishment in her life and no point in even trying in anything.
This is the bit I am finding hard. I don't know if I am enabling her, too soft, looking for excuses for her behaviour or whether it's something more that's been missed. ADHD is something I can't get out of my head, she's never been formally tested apart from CAMHS questionnaires and they wouldn't give me a definite response to the results when I asked about it, instead they spoke about dealing with the behaviour not the label.
I have to take time off work and school to get her to these appointments and right now I am just feeling really down about whether there is more I can do, differently, and how to make things better.
I have a good relationship with her despite her bad attitude she is soft and caring when in the right mood. Also something that was mentioned by all the teachers is not just concentration but her mood swings. I know how to reprimand her and break these moods but obviously at school she doesn't get this, as she is expected to toe the line and follow rules and do as she is told.
She's otherwise a good kid who I just worry is messing up her education 