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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Just a thread for when teenagers are being lovely.

61 replies

annandale · 02/03/2017 19:29

Not being smug - DS is only 13 and i've read a lot of threads by parents of 15 year olds etc saying 'he was lovely at 13'

But just to remind myself, one day in the future when he's being a pain, of just how nice teenagers can be.

He no longer needs me to wipe his arse, entertain him 24/7 or prevent him from certain death every 2 minutes.
He's not cuddly exactly but if we are both sitting on the settee he will drape his legs over mine, and he still will tolerate wants a goodnight kiss before he goes up.
He will ask us how we are and if we had a good day sometimes
He is starting to do his chores without being constantly nagged.
Ditto homework - he may do the absolute minimum but he DOES it.
He's a good friend and has some good mates he does nice things with.
He doesn't seem to be particularly into romance yet so there is no huge drama.
He's quite good at being polite and basic social niceties for a short time.
He loves his screen time and is no doubt watching all sorts of stuff we'd rather he didn't but it's really great when he shows us some stupid joke or other and we all have a giggle.
He's rather paternal about me and will check I have my keys and phone before leaving the house

Tell me nice things your teenager does

OP posts:

steppemum · 07/04/2017 15:42

12? hmm, you know that Kevin the teenager video on the day of his 13 th birthday?

just sayin........

nowahousewife · 07/04/2017 17:48

DD19 had some moments at around 12-13 but generally has been a great kid and I really miss her now she's away at Uni.
DS17 on the other hand has been pretty unpleasant to me for the last 3 years but is hard working at school and charming to everyone else. I did feel good this week when he came home with a packet of Cadbury mini eggs for me - occasional glimpses of the nice kid I know he is give me hope.

Wildernesstips · 07/04/2017 19:08

Yes, love both of mine. Find them much easier as teens than toddlers. Love that mine want to come for a walk with me and just the general chat and banter, and everyday surprises you get from teenagers!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 07/04/2017 19:13

I've just come home after staying away with work, and DS16 has made me a cup of tea, said he missed me and offered to cook dinner. DH has bought flowers. I'm lucky and spoiled.

Whathaveilost · 07/04/2017 19:32

DS1 came out of the teenage years and is now 20 but DS2 is 17.
I have never had a minutes worry with either of them apart from when they first started going out late alone.
Great things in general:
They are working.
They are driving and have their own cars. Which in turn means they now drop me and their dad off at places and pick us up!
We socialise but do adult stuff e.g. Gigs, theatre cinema, hockey games etc
They have really nice girlfriends that include me in some things.

More personal things. DS2 is. Very chatty and likes his hugs.
DS1 is very sporty and motivates me to go to spinning, kettle bells, whatever with him which is good.

Teenagers are just great.

I work with them as well so it's good fun.

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt · 07/04/2017 19:34

I don't have teenagers. I have a 5yr old DD. But the other day in the park, when she made a beeline for the roundabout and was disappointed to find it swarming with teenagers, one of them was very polite and accommodating.

She decided to go on the climbing frame instead, and a 15-ish yr old lad ran after us, and asked "Does she want to go on the roundabout? Because we'll all get off if she does."

She didn't, because she'd spotted one of her pals on the climbing frame. But it was nice to be asked. So I thought the teenager appreciation thread was a good place to mention it. If the lad's mum is on here...Good Job.

WankersHacksandThieves · 07/04/2017 20:21

Where we lived when my two were toddlers, there was a little park. Invariably every time you went, the swings were wrapped around the top bar. One day I spotted a group of teens doing it as we were walking down. When we got to the park, instead of going all guns blazing, we all stood there with daily mail sad faces and then I asked the biggest boy amongst them if he could help unwrap the swings as "the wee guys really want to go on them" (local vernacular) I never indicated at all that I knew it was them. Within seconds he another two sorted all the swings out and I thanked them gratefully. We only lived there for about another 6 months after that but I never found the swings wrapped again. Probably coincidence, but I like to think that just maybe having been shown the impact of their behaviour and being spoken nicely to and being thanked had some positive influence on their activities. :)

MrSlant · 07/04/2017 20:28

I have, mostly, loved the teenage years so far. DS1 (17) is kind and helpful and tall which is very useful for high shelves. He is also insanely huggy, fantastic to talk to and has the best gang of friends who are fascinating and fun and just make me wish I could go to school with them and hang out. I also got a message tonight "Permission to mow the lawn?" who isn't going to love that? DS2 (nearly 15) has his moments but still snuggles right up to me when we watch TV, has brilliant, funny friends that are so amazing and entertaining plus, when I'm looking good, will tell me my eyebrows are "on fleek" because he knows it makes me feel fabulous.

Teenagers get so much bad press and all the ones I know are polite and funny and incredibly interesting. I think they are doing a much better job of it than my generation did.

minxthemanx · 07/04/2017 20:32

Ds1 is 15. Has been bldy hard work since 12. This week (easter hols) he has revised 2/3 hours a day without being asked, painted elderly neighbors fence and she'd, cleaned out her garage for her ands taken stuff to the tip. (She's paid him obv). I've never seen him work so hard and he hasn't been rude to be once. His 10 year old brother has been a git.

VittysCardigan · 07/04/2017 20:44

In my experience they get even better with age. My youngest DD 25 is having her younger brothers 10 & 12 at her flat for a sleepover tomorrow night! She was not the easiest teen - but a long way from being the worst and her relationship with her big sister struggled during the teen years. However, since her sister had her son they have become so much closer. Things with all my children are very good right now

RozTheSchnoz · 07/04/2017 20:45

I teach teenagers and the ones at my school are amazing. They're polite and funny and generally hard working. They are respectful and we never have problems with swearing or abuse/ violence. It's just a normal Midlands state school. It's 11-18 and the older kids are so kind to the Y7s and so patient with them; they're excellent role models.
When I tell people what I do for a living, people look aghast but working with these teenagers is a joy. It's the adults who drive me crazy

Blossomdeary · 07/04/2017 20:52

This is a lovely thread - my teenage girls are long gone with families of their own, but they were a delight - it was exciting to see them developing their personalities and generally experimenting with life. Of course there were worrying moments; but it was a lovely time and they are wonderful now and I am very proud of them.

nicp123 · 07/04/2017 21:12

Anyone being ripped-off by teenagers sons doing house chores? Mine charging £5/hour after doing chores I never asked them to do! DH ending up filling their pockets telling me I'm wicked if I refuse paying them!

Ledkr · 07/04/2017 21:14

I could not be prouder of my dd. She has had the most hideous few months being bullied at school and attacked in town, eventually got ditched by her so called mates.
She has finally made the decision to leave school and we are currently looking for a new one or a college placement.
She was so brave to keep going into school despite all this and lots of horrid social media stuff.
She is beautiful and funny and so talented. Kind to everyone and is going to do really well in her life.
She is slowly pulling herself up after months of horrendous anxiety and staring to get back to living her life happy.
I will never forget her bravery.

neversleepagain · 07/04/2017 21:28

My parents had 4 teenaged daughters at one point and while we all had our moments of being utter arseholes, i am sure my parents would say the teenaged years were happy ones. We would all go for lunch and coffee with my mum, shopping, help with the garden. I have wonderful memories from my teenaged years and my mum was and is more like my sister than my mother.

legspinner · 07/04/2017 22:04

My 16yo DD had about 20 of her friends round for a birthday hangout (joint party with her friend). They were all lovely. At one point half of them were watching Frozen in one room and the other half were watching Cars....

Biffsboys · 07/04/2017 22:37

Had a couple of moody years around 14/15 , he is 19 now and I like him so much ! (Always loved him ) . Other people tell me he is a lovely young man which is great to hear .

Funnyfarmer · 07/04/2017 22:41

I've just posted on another thread about how my dd (16) tricked me into buying something for myself by pretending she wanted it. She knows I never treat myself but I always treat my dc's. I thought it was really sweet.
She cleans up while I'm in work and she's on school holidays. She changes her plans to looker after dd2 while I'm work to save me money on child care. She always buys me the most perfect gifts for mothers day/ birthdays/Christmas. And she lets me borrow her clothes

SparklyUnicornPoo · 08/04/2017 02:00

Not my teenager, but I took DD(8) to a skate park earlier, its a large park, several ramps only us and a teenage boy there (looked about 15) he took himself over to a bit well away from DD's somewhat wobbly attempts on the smaller ramps, I was sat on a wall watching, DD then decided she was going to try a bigger ramp and fell off, making a fantastic bang as she slid down the ramp face first, I ran across to her and at the same time he ran over, being younger and faster he got there first, and helped DD up and told her he'd fallen off hundreds of times and she was doing really well. She'd been nervous people would laugh at her before we got there so it really did mean the world to her. I did thank him but I really hope his parents know what a sweet young man they've raised. (DD was fine by the way, couple of grazes and a bruise)

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 08/04/2017 10:57

All ages have their highs and lows. Probably my proudest moment as a mum, was when my son's maths teacher called to one side. He was 15(?) and had got a detention for not doing homework (pretty par for the course) she'd asked him something and he told her that I already knew about the detention. This is the bit that I loved, he'd told her that "he could tell his mum anything, thatbthere wasn't anything she didn't understand"
We've had high points and low. We've gone through some really tough phases, when I've worried about where he is and what he's doing, but all through everything, he's talked to me. That means more than anything else.

Draylon · 08/04/2017 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 08/04/2017 13:26

I've also found the teenage years easy.

You don't have to get up with them in the morning.

They don't need stuff doing for them and can help with or produce meals for the family.

You can have interesting conversations with them, they don't argue with each other.

GallopingMom · 08/04/2017 17:51

DD(14) made the most delicious spanakopitas for supper tonight. She is funny and kind and loves hugs. These days she will generally do chores without grumbling too much, but you have to tell her as she rarely remembers. One can have interesting conversations and philosophical debates with her. I very much enjoy the fact that I no longer have to physically take care of every need. There are challenges but all in all teenage have worked out well for us (so far)!

Shodan · 08/04/2017 22:10

One of my fondest memories was watching ds1 (now 21, but 16 or so at the time) and three of his friends letting ds2 (then aged 4)squeeze in between them to teach him how to play some (obviously age appropriate!) video game. They were all so kind and gentle with him.

I see some of these same boys around town from time to time and they are all unfailingly polite and friendly- they all take a few minutes to chat.

Teenagers are lovely, generally, I think.

BackforGood · 08/04/2017 23:35

Glad this thread is running. I did try to offer an alternate viewpoint on the 'teenagers are grim' thread.
Not my experience at all, and, for balance, for those with younger dc who might e looking in, we should be fair.

Teens are great - they can fend for themselves. They can get themselves to and from places. They can talk about all sorts of interesting stuff. They can be funny and great company. 2 of mine now drive and are willing to let me have a drink and collect me. I can lie in if I'm not working. They can all take turns to cook meals. They take responsibility for things with their volunteering. They earn their own money with part time jobs. They will now ask for help and advice, but still come to their own decisions. They are incredibly funny. It's just lovely to see the fruits of all that hard labour when they were little.

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