Worried my teenager is depressed

[silverlin]

Hi,

My DD13 has always struggled with friendships, school work and her weight.

She went through a happyish period recently where she had a good friend, but this friend had started hanging around with a group she has previously had problems with and they do not invite her out with them or to meet before school, etc.

She is not doing well at school, lacking behind in nearly all subjects, and she feels really low about this. She recently got 20% in her maths test, which has really affected her as she has been having extra help with maths.

She is approximately 3st overweight. I try to help her with this, cook healthy dinners, etc, but she doesn't make great choices when she is not with me and doesn't exercise. Her Dad's family have problems with their weight and I'm worried about it affecting her health. We have been to the doctors a few times about it, but they just tell her what she already knows.

She has no motivation for anything. Never wants to make much effort, decides to be healthy, but gives up after a few days as there's no point. She is like this with most things in life. How do I motivate her? How can I help her with everything? Should I take her to the GP? I've tried lots of tactics and none of them seem to work.

Thanks for reading, any advice would be very gratefully received.

Hi Silverlin

Sorry to he about your daughter, just so worrying for us as parents.
We have gone through this with our daughter and she doing loads better now.
This is what I would do, It very much sounds like there possibly could be an eating issue here with her weight being as low as you said?
Whats her eating like? Does she have breakfast lunch and dinner?
if she isnt eating her lunch this will affect her concentration levels
my daughter now is 16 and we have had her battling unhelpful eating thoughts she is doing well now as she is having CBT but we had to wait a long time to get this.

I would check what she is looking at on her computer? Look for ways to cut out eating etc, i do know websites to look for if you want to pm me i can give them to you, i dont want to put them on here.
Is she skipping meals,
speak to the school and let them know your concerns, hopefully they have a councillor in the school that can help her or a SEN that can suppoort her.

I would also start the process of the refferal, get in touch with your dr if you haven't already then go from there.
There is also Young Minds which is great for advise, they call you back and have a chat with you over the phone this is a trained councillor.

And for your daughter try to get her out of her room more, do things together, family games, things to look forward too, and get her to do what she enjoys maybe baking, or crafty things etc.

Just ideas as been through this.
all the best for her, hope she is better asap. xx

My dd12 appears to suffer from bouts of depression, she isn't really sad she has a generally low mood. She has been referred to a service called step2 which is a service below CAMHS.

It may be worth talking to her school / GP about whether they can make a referral.

Get on to school about your concerns both academic , social and emotional. Most schools have counsellors. Also have a chat with learning support. Has she always struggled academically or is this new. Does she need more intervention. . Ed Psych assessment. . Social skills groups or lunch time clubs. They don't need to be active just engaging to discourage comfort eating.
Get onto GP be upfront that you are concerned re depression.
See if there are any activities at your local sports centre aimed at family fitness.Do something together.
Check out BEAT. They have info on overeating as well as classic eating disorders.