What jobs do your teens do and how far away/hours etc?

[Pollyanna9]

Hi

Thinking of telling DS he needs to get a job - I can't bear the thought of him sitting in his room for the entire summer holidays.

I'm considering what is it NCA? But he didn't engage at all with DofE (which REALLY pissed me off) and I'm not moved to spend more money on him (albeit a lot less than DofE cost).

Where do your teens work, what places have they found to get jobs, how many days are they working and what types of hours/shifts do they do?

I'll need some ideas on how to talk to him - I think he needs to get out there. He's a thinker, a room lurker, a gamer, he doesn't go out with any friends at all and I'm just thinking for if/when he goes to Uni, he needs a bit more experience of life. He's 17 and will be 18 in July.

What ideas have you got and what do your teens do???

Thanks everyone. I'll broach it this evening. Tell him I'm not paying for Xbox Live any more - I need something that will force him to have to consider it.

Not making excuses now but I (and I've posted about this before) think he's possibly on the spectrum but undiagnosed because he struggles with loud noises and some social situations and v v much a loner, living in his room. He NEVER goes anywhere, socialises, anything so on the one hand I do feel he really needs to start working a job but I kinda have to be aware of his quite individual ways as well (if that makes sense). So it makes me a bit nervy as I'm trying to strike a happy medium between pushing him to do something he needs to do very much (he won't even go to the corner shop on his own to buy something) but not wanting to reach an immediate impasse because he feels he can't do it yet.

I do want him to have the confidence benefits that will come with it.

It sounds as though he'd find a job really hard

I know but if he doesn't get out there then he's not going to be ready for say going away to university and living away from home if he doesn't have the experience of dealing with people and so on.

It's really not easy Pollyanna.

Is there any volunteering opportunities round your way, ease him in gently?
He might gain some confidence then
maybe focus on retail shops like Game, Cex that he has interests in. Summer temp jobs will come up soon.

If you mean the National Citizen Service - that really is brilliant, and, tbh, you'll probably save more in food than it costs you to send him on it. Works really well for those dc in particular who aren't already brimming with confidence and life skills.

Re jobs. ds (now 20) started with delivering the free local paper, moved to working in a butcher's shop (was on his way home from school) for about 50mins every evening, cleaning, then got a job at a shop in the City Centre - he preferred the work but hadn't realised how much both time and money would be eaten up by the travelling (good lesson learned), then he qualified as a lifeguard. Lifeguard money is good but does involve getting there on the bus for a 6am start, or home after a 10pm finish, depending on shift.
dd (now 18) ... started with free paper delivery, then has done quite a lot of babysitting (word of mouth, but she is very confident, experienced, and has things like first aid qualifications and is a young leader at Scouts), then also does lifeguarding as above.
If you know people (neighbours, colleagues, friends) who have older relatives, they may well be appreciative of hiring him for an hour here and there to do all sorts of odd jobs for them.
Ther is also a market for teaching older folk how to use computers / tablkets etc. - my dd has been asked this a couple of times. Of course, you need to not only know a bit about the technology, but the crucial bit for that is understanding that the person you are teaching doesn't, and finding out what they are stuck with that seems very, very simple to a teen.

Thank you.

I honestly have absolutely no idea where to find volunteering opportunities for teens - any resources anyone?

I just know, without even broaching it, that he will HATE the idea of NCS, absolutely hate it. He's not into sports or anything like that and it seems difficult to get out of them (before booking) what's actually available. Plus it takes weeks of the holidays which on the one hand is great but I don't even know if his dad his planning on taking him on holiday so I'm struggling to figure out if he would be able to do it. What sorts of things can they do (that aren't sport)??? You see, we had a chat when he was going to DofE and as a single parent strapped for cash I said look if I'm buying you all this kit etc you have to fully engage with the program. He didn't. He didn't do the physical exercise, he didn't fill in his log, he didn't do the volunteering. Made out he had but then I realised he hadn't. So whether he found it difficult or not I don't know, I think it's more he just didn't want to be bothered, and I don't want to gear up for NCS and then get phone calls from a venue 2 hours away telling me he wants to come home. We had a right old palaver the other week when he wouldn't catch a bus!! Some things like the not going on the bus really seem to distress him. He can go on a train, why not a bus? So him getting there would be difficult as well due to these constraints. I think it'll be enough for him to stay local and do something actually having just typed all that out!!

I was going to speak to him last night but we had a birthday meal and I wanted to follow up on some more replies so I haven't chatted with him yet.

Any ideas on where to find out about volunteering opportunities would be really good and failing any volunteering then he needs to get a CV/leaflet/business cards together and start dropping them at all the shops, takeaways etc in our local town (which is only 5 mins walk away).

Not sure of specific volunteering. Is there a careers advice service in your area? Might be worth researching this as they will have ideas or connections in local area.
I think if confidence is an issue it's worth taking it slowly one step at a time. It's soul destroying job seeking and even my very outgoing, motivated DD found it hard going initially. Do you think his reluctance is down to how he's feeling about himself or leaving safe cocoon of home.

It is scary going out into the big world I think. Sounds like you're being a very understanding mum, good luck

I don't know Scotlass it's just how he is. Quite insular. He's a deep thinker, he's not depressed in any way I don't believe but very much prefers his own company so he spends time creating songs using his midi keyboard and adding bits from his guitar and gaming - that and going to see his dad is about the extent of his social life. I repeatedly offer him to bring his one mate from college round but he never ever does nor does he go there or do any extra curricular socialising that isn't in digital form!

He had said to his family "I'll get a job next year" but honestly, he'll be getting ready to go to Uni then if that's what he decides to do and even if he ends up thinking he'd prefer an apprenticeship, I think it would be better for him in the long run if he could find something nice and local so no need for public transport where he can walk to from college or home so there's not the daunting (for him) ogre bus journey to contend with!!

I'll have a rummage round the internet this weekend and see if I can come up with anything.

NCS:

they do one week (Mon-Fri) on an Outward Bound type residential. Usually stay in buildings (tho I did read one poster saying their dc had been in a tent) and doing outdoor ed type stuff and various team building stuff as are with people they don't know.
2nd week they put them in a flat share - usually a university halls of residence, and they have to budget, buy and cook for themselves.

My DDs all did babysitting from a young age. Then they all had a gig answering the phone and doing light office work at our parish offices during summer and at weekends during the school year. DD1 and DD2 got a job in the same law firm a few years apart, as summer floating help - this also involved answering phones, office work. This was five days a week 8-5 daily and it was a fantastic opportunity for them. DD3 babysat and summer nannied (not keen on church) - this was odd babysitting jobs all the time, plus regular after school gigs where she would arrive asap after school and stay with children while SAHM put in hours at their home businesses. DD4 babysits and will look for similar summer babysitting and church office jobs. DS started by advertising his services with my local parish as a provider of gardening, painting and odd job services, hoping to get some elderly clients. It worked - he had two regular gardening and light renovation/unskilled DIY jobs (clearing out basement, taking down wallpaper, ripping up old carpet) at first and those individuals recommended him to their friends. Then he got a job in a furniture warehouse by word of mouth for his summers from age 17 on.

I was lucky in that the younger DCs all followed the lead of DD1 who was very keen on earning her own money, possibly thanks to neighbours who used to pay her from a very early age to mind small children as a mother's help. I made a point of talking about how DD1 bought X, Y, or Z nice stuff for herself and they all took the hint.

I never gave pocket money.

Would your DS like to teach people internet basics or fix people's issues setting up computers, programming TVs etc? My mum had to call a neighbour lad in to install her new TV and show her how to work the dvd player a few years ago.

Yes he could help people with their tech. He also plays guitar to level 5 so I'm not sure if he could offer guitar lessons or not (or if you have to have learnt how to teach it/have specific qualifications). Really good info - I can't see him being involved in the babysitting thing although he's very calm and considered and he could do it, I just don't think he'd want to.

Interesting, and some really good ideas.

I planted the seed this week, he's at his dad's over the weekend, but I'll certainly be firming up this idea with him in the coming week. His sister's on a school trip during half term so I can focus on doing CVs/business cards etc with him.

I think it should be about efforts rather than actually getting a job. Ultimately, it will be these efforts that will lead to something. There is an element of luck in it so for some, the effort will be rewarded very quickly, for others it will take longer. If it takes longer, than I think it is fair to continue to be encouraging rather than punishing.

DD's friends seemed to do better than her getting job in local shops, but then, they were quicker than her applying to the ones that advertised (and appropriate for school kids). However, DD managed to get her first job through good networking. She built relationship with the people running the tennis club she played at. When she did her DoE award, she asked if she could do her volunteering there, so she started to help with classes. That led to her taking on more responsibility, and then months later to her taking her her first group and at that point being paid for it. This also led to being asked to help in the cafe once when one person was ill and then gradually being asked to work there regularly.

I think the issue is that you get such different level of maturity at that age, so people are reluctant to give you a chance without being able to see what you are capable of first. I would encourage your DS to get involved with community projects and to use these opportunities to network. I really helps with their confidence too. I remember the first time DD had to make a phone call to ask about her application, she was really anxious, but now doesn't think twice about talking to professional people on the phone.

Yes swing, I'm very acutely aware of his lack of confidence and just the act of him trying to find something will be a big ask for him. He is mature but so introverted it's unreal.

In that case NCS might be perfect for him.

The two weeks having to do a project is incredibly valuable. They have to work as a team with people they have only got to know for two weeks, and they then have to do fundraising and that will inevitably involve making cold calls to ask for money to support their project. However, this will be done together with the support of a leader, so much less scary.

DD was quite confident before, but this really changed her. There was even a bit of healthy competition as to who could get more, so the fear of rejection was put aside. At first, they did it in groups of two, but then some felt confident to do so alone. DD and her friend approached a business and they had to go and explain their project. I took them, but they did all the talking. I was amazed how they sold their project and indeed got even more than they were asking for.

Many kids don't want to do it for this reason because it pushes their comfort zone, but it really is the best way to do so and really opens doors afterwards.

My DDs 16 & 14 both work in a cafe on a Saturday and as many days as they want in the holidays. £6.00 + bonus and tips. 5 miniute drive or 20 minute walk.

They both don't enjoy it but do enjoy the freedom having money brings. And both know they are on a good wage for their age

I just think NCS will be too much too soon for him. He's SO insular and so lacking in confidence I think it will be enough for him to try and find something local actually, weirdly, where he has to make the first move to make enquiries about jobs, but he's not forced to also try and get on with a load of new people as well. It's his socialising with others that's what he just doesn't enjoy - he is totally into his own company, never ever has friends round, never goes to friends houses, never goes out with friends.

I'm gonna get business cards printed up for him this week, he can also decide if he wants to stay very very local so he doesn't have to get a bus to his job or if he's willing to get a bus to the 6 or so miles to the nearest major shopping centre (and that's whole 'nother thing; recently trying to get him to catch the bus to get to the train station (only .6 miles away) and he was so distressed about it he locked himself in the bathroom - so that's the type of level we're looking at).

He loves to game and needs batteries for his controller but he'll even refuse to go to the shop with money to buy new batteries, because that will involve speaking to people which he clearly finds difficult. I think a job of some type and earning some money will actually motivate him even as you say lovely, he might not especially enjoy it but that's not the point (ha ha!).

My eldest is very introverted, working has done her wonders. Money might not be the point but motivation is great.

My DD, 16, has worked part time in a bubble tea bar, been a Deliveroo cyclist, and now works in Go Outdoors. She's very desperate to earn her own money but looks for the best salary, least amount of work!! Takes after me I think.

My dd is also v introverted/shy, may be on the spectrum, and it was lack of money from us combined with a bit of peer pressure as many of her friends were either getting a job or looking for one that encouraged her.

She applied for quite a few shop jobs in localish shops she knew (big shopping centre near her school) and got a job at Sports Direct paying £5.something per hour. Contrary to their reputation, the company seems to be treating her quite well. It's given her some confidence and also some money, which is good as she was asking us for things we couldn't afford.

I'm sure your ds will rise to the challenge if he gets a job! Do sympathise about DoE and NCS - no way in a million years my dd would have done either... But shop jobs are quite routine, so once you've got the hang of the limited skillset needed, it's not a particularly stressful environment.

If I was you, I'd nag your ds to get a job!

I would respectively disagree with the previous poster. Retail can be an incredibly stressful environment. I interview Year 10's for work experience in our shop. I specifically ask them to come in for an interview so I can gage how they will interact with the public. Many organisatiions want you to complete online aptitude tests even for a Saturday job. It's often about being in the right place at the right time. I would definitely look at building up his confidence and social skills before applying for retail positions.

My dd works at McDonalds. It took quite a bit to get her going as she decided she was too shy to ask anywhere if they had any jobs going. However the wish for money eventually overcame her nerves and she now works anything from 4 to 20 hours a week.

ds is a volunteer at an art gallery and supposed to be looking for paid work but hasn't got around to searching too hard. He does envy dd her cash though :) It isn't the easiest thing to walk into somewhere and ask if they have anything.

DD (17) works at Tesco on the counters. 2 shifts most weeks. She also babysits.

I think supermarket jobs are good for teens. Shelf stacking is something an introverted teen could do without too much strain maybe?

I feel for you though. My dd is very employable - she's mature and confident and has got every job she's applied for but I've got a 13 year old ds who is shy and has no common sense. I can't imagine what he could do for work. My 11 year old ds who has ASD is very practical thank god. Hoping he'll get a job at Halfords of B&Q or somewhere like that when he turns 16...

Varied with mine. One did nothing during 6th form but a lot of bar work for events etc around uni, another has had a regular PT job in a local small business for 2 years while in 6th form and another moved away from home to do a FT job with a lot of travel at 16.

My dd worked in 'next' when she was 16.