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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Download Festival - should my 'just' 16 yr old be allowed to camp?

19 replies

BabyHare · 27/02/2007 18:38

Hi

My dd (16 in June) wants to go to this Download Festival as she did last year (hubby took her and said there were some really evil people there and lots and lots of drugs. This year she wants to camp for the two nights along with a group of friends.

Two problems: her GCSE's will prob not have finished AND it sounds a pretty unsavoury place to be without adult supervision.

We are having MAJOR rows about this.... opinions pls?

Thanks

Sarah

OP posts:
chenin · 27/02/2007 19:56

My DD1 went to Reading Festival last year when she was 17.5 and I felt that even that was almost too young. Sorry but it doesn't really help...

She camped for 3 nights, I was worried sick and she wasn't very well while she was there. The price of food was extortionate, she didn't sleep for 2 nights running, she came home stinking BUT

she said it was the best time she had ever had in her life!

I personally think just 16 is too young... I do know about the MAJOR rows when you refuse this sort of thing... not easy!!!

dolally · 27/02/2007 22:35

don't know... do feel that 16 is too young but god knows... my dd will be 16 next spring...

What about the group she's going with, do you know them, are you pally with any of the parents? Are any of your dd's close friends going... what do their parents say?

Skribble · 27/02/2007 22:41

NO ABSOLUTELY NOT, NO WAY, NOT A CHANCE!!!!!

Sorry but I have insider knowledge and it is not a place for 16yr old girls, however mature they think they might be. It is so easy for them to get them selves into silly situations. It is a drink fueled environment with a fair amount of drug taking and violence including riots.

Happy to give more info if required.

SueW · 27/02/2007 22:53

I know someone v sensible and more than three times your DD's age who will prob be there with her DH. Should I find out her mobile no for you?

Seriously I think that her GCSEs not finished is a major reason not to go.

Heathcliffscathy · 27/02/2007 22:56

skribble anywhere where lots of young people gather will have all those things...

agree re who else is going.

RustyBear · 27/02/2007 22:59

DD has been to Reading twice, but as we only live a few miles away, she came home for showers every day! The first year she was 15.5, but was in a tent with DS who was almost 18 and some older friends, the second time, she was 16.5 & in a tent with friends, while DS was in another tent not far away. Also, several of the security staff were friends/ relatives of DD & her friends. Reading seems pretty well run &is in the holidays - I wouldn't have let her go during exams.

mumeeee · 27/02/2007 23:07

No 16 is to young to be doing this on her own. Also her GCSEs are important so she should'nt go away during them. She needs time revise.

Skribble · 27/02/2007 23:12

Yes there are many places where young kids gather and bad things happen,

But this is an event more suited to over 18's. I have seen to many young kids so drunk thay can't stand up and freinds off watching the bands, fine if you can stagger into a taxi and go home, not so great if you have to spend 2hrs trying to figure which of the thousand green tents are yours and still end up in totaly the wrong place and surrounded by drunk overexcited guys.

I just wouldn't pack my 16 yr old daughter off for 4 days with my blessing to stay on site, go for the day perhaps , but not to stay in the campsite.

Think about it, stick tens of thousands of mainly under 25s in a field for 4 nights in a muddy field, feed them on pot noodles and warm beer/vodka and gather them up to listen to lively bands, deprive them of sleep and see what happens .

Skribble · 27/02/2007 23:13

If they do go at least fork out the extra for the RIP camping.

brimfull · 27/02/2007 23:18

No,she should be studying and she is too young,put your foot down.
Easier said than done I know...Good luck!

Skribble · 27/02/2007 23:20

Its not like she will get much studying in while she is there This ain't Download

Skribble · 27/02/2007 23:36

Download 2006 , perhaps not .

No this was download last year

BabyHare · 28/02/2007 09:51

Thanks for the advice! to be honest, the group she is going with are not the kind of friends I would really like her to be hanging out with and... her undesirable boyfriend is going to be with her... there is one girl who is supposedly going who I do trust... but the major factor that GCSE's may not be finished is the trump card that I have but she is not happy AT ALL...

SKribble would like more info PLEASE!! We have to talk this evening again about it as she says that all her friends have tickets and she wants hers... she keeps saying "I am sensible, why don't you trust me, etc etc "

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Love Sarah

OP posts:
Skribble · 28/02/2007 10:09

No probs I will be on tonight.

I am not a paranoid mother who won't let her kids grow up I am someone who sees what goes on at festivals .

lynniep · 28/02/2007 10:49

Um, this is a toughie. I have to say I camped at various festivals from around age 16 and its really not safe. So agreeing with Skribble on this one.

No matter how sensible dd thinks she is, the minute she starts drinking(and lets face it, the likelyhood is that she will) she's already in trouble. Thats assuming no-ones going to offer her drugs as well. Even if her intentions are good, she's still a kid and even slightly tipsy kids do really stupid things, especially when getting pressured by other kids (who are often equally good intentioned, but you fire off each other at that age - which is why my best mates parents always thought I was the 'bad influence' and why my parents thought it was her)
I did stuff at festivals that my parents would be mortified at even now, although at the time I didn't think it was such a big deal. Looking back I wasn't emotionally mature enough to handle myself - I thought I was in control when I wasn't.

I do think 'just' 16, and in exam time is pushing it, and yes, she'll be mega-gutted. You know her best though. Do you really think she'll be sensible or is she kidding herself as well as trying to convince you?
Are her friends the type to stick in a group, or splinter off if they get a 'better' offer so to speak? Are the girls going to back her up if she's being pressured by the bf?

On the other side of the coin, I did have some friends who were super-sensible and stayed that way whatever situation they were put in, even at such a young age. And, much as I've put a real 'downer' on the idea, a lot of kids will just have a great time and not do anything really idiotic, or find themselves in a bad situation. Lets face it, they'll do what they want to even if they don't go to a festival, they just won't get such a great opportunity to get away with it.
If you do think you'll let her go, make it clear that this is a trust exercise - you are trusting her to behave and not get into a situation where she allows herself to be vunerable. Explain what that might be, if you think she doesnt 'get' what your worried about. Try and make her see it from your point of view (hmm, easier said than done!) - I was super selfish at 16 and never understood why my folks worried. Let her know for sure that if that this doesnt happen, then future events are out of the question.

I'm not offering my opinion as a parent (but will be soon) - Im just speaking as someone who recalls quite well what I got up to as a teenager. I don't know if my comments will help you or worry you even more - good luck with your decision.

Skribble · 28/02/2007 21:53

lynniep, so true so true.

Thats is the thing most 16 year olds wouldn't be able to cope well with some of the situations that might arise, especially if they have had a drink (and they will), even if they do cope should they have to?

Should a 16 year old be put in that situation, so many things can happen and you can't just jump in a taxi home to get away from it.

RustyBear · 28/02/2007 22:11

True, skribble - dd would not have gone to Reading if it hadn't been so close to us.

Skribble · 28/02/2007 22:18

Answer might be a comprimise, what about tickets for a concert she wants to go to once exams done.

But I wouldn't give in on the festival, even if she was going with dad again, its still middle of exams.

When my kids start going to festivals it will only be if we (DH or myself) are onsite, and they won't be sleeping in the main campsite areas until they are at least 30 .

jules27 · 05/03/2007 11:04

Hi can i join in , my 17 year old daughter wants to go to glastonbury this year stopping the three days. She will be going with three of her friends , they are all smart girls BUT can be a bit dippy at times . They all say WE ARE GROWN UP NOW(and then let them selves down by doing stupid things) would rather they waited a year until they have a little more experience of the world and the people in it.Am i being to over worried mum, Dont really want her to go, not to sleep anyway .

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