Dd is almost 13. For the past few months her behaviour has been steadily getting worse. Some of it fairly standard ie eye rolling, stomping upstairs, room a total disgrace and so forth. . Recently though it's escalating. She's been taking my makeup without asking. She currently doesn't have her phone because of the amount of online drama amongst her friends, she tried to tell me she was the victim of it but when I read her messages she was largely the cause of it. She then took her sister's tablet without anyone's knowledge. Money has been going missing from my bag, I strongly suspect it's her but can't prove it.
In mitigation, we've had a shit six months, my mum was ill and then died a couple of months ago. Dh has been a selfish lazy arse and I'm sure she's picked up on how pissed off I've been. But I've always tried to talk to her and make time for her.
Shes had sanctions (no phone) and has lost her pocket money. I spend time with her doing activities of her choice. We chat a lot about her life, her day, current affairs, her opinions etc etc.
Last weekend we went to the cinema. The weekend before I took her swimming, just then two of us, and we also had a couple of hours wandering round town browsing makeup. Apparently though I don't give her enough attention. If I'm in the middle of something and don't drop it immediately if she wants to chat then I'm in the wrong and it gets thrown back at me if I challenge her behaviour.
She's constantly in trouble and I'm so tired of being the bad guy, she says I'm always nagging her and I am, but I can't let the Internet stuff and the casual lifting of other people's belongings go unchallenged.
Help!!