16 year olds and alcohol

[Sturmundcalm]

DD is away to a party tonight, and we refused to give her any alcohol to take with her.she was at a different party at the same house a few months ago and the parents provided alcohol and DD had a couple of vodkas (with Fanta - so classy!).

Neither of us is keen to start down the route of encouraging/facilitating drinking but the peer pressure is definitely increasing... For info, she's 16.5 and while it's just a birthday party they have all just finished their prelims and she has got 6 As, she'll be at sports training in the morning and performing as part of both choir and orchestra at the school concert on Monday night- so pretty engaged/active and she does talk to us about most things.

Are we being unreasonable? My view is that if you provide alcohol you up the ante, whereas without our approval she might have a few drinks but is less likely to go overboard. But is EVERY other parent really providing some??

I've supplied small amounts of cider or a small bottle of rum/vodka once or twice. DD 16.5 has never been drunk or vomited, unlike her friends with much stricter parents. And drink aint the least of it! Most of her gang are much more interested in drugs and DD is surrounded by kids smoking weed, taking MDMA and ket. I know she doesn't and we've always discussed it all openly - much happier with a glass or two of cider than any of that!

Oh my god garlic it's terrifying isn't it? my DD recently told me some friends were smoking weed. She said she thought it was only 'druggies' that took stuff but said it was now very 'normal' , she hasn't and wouldn't as she's quite sensible and is very anti smoking anyway. There is some good info on the FRANK website.

I have had a party for my 17yo DD where I supplied various ciders and DD made jelly shots out of those cocktail mixes you are supposed to put in the freezer (they are about 4 or 5% alcohol).

I would be cross if I knew people had brought their own.

A friend had a party, and actually took all bags off the teenage guests as they were walking in, and locked the bags away "to keep them safe". She said that many obviously had litre bottles of spirits in their bags. She served some alcopops and beer, etc., but just kept the spirits inaccessible to them.