Drugs related with 19 year old

[Nowhere2turn]

Absolutely devastated to have found drugs on my 19 year old "child" this weekend!!!
I've had a massive go at him and have told him he's been extremely lucky that I haven't called the police!! And in no uncertain terms, if it was to happen again then I would call them!! (There has been history of drug use in the past but I'm trying to keep this short.)
My other part of this which absolutely broke my heart is that when I spoke to him about it, the dangers etc, he said he doesn't care...and that he doesn't intend to live to an old age! He is so flippant about, says he knows what he's doing (which obviously was address about not actually knowing what is put into the drugs etc). He absolutely has everything, I can't get my head around the mentality of his thinking.
I just don't know what to do? How can I help someone who doesn't want to be helped?
I flushed the drugs down the toilet and told him that I would be searching him and his room as that is the rules in my house. I know some will say he's an adult and about his privacy, but I am strongly against drugs and will not accept it in my house!!!
I guess I'm looking for help in how to approach and deal with this situation please. Thank you

What kind of drugs?

There was ecstasy tablets, crushed tablet that was pink powder (he told me it was a crushed tablet) and mdna....but I'm going by what he told me as I don't know. Only know from Google and trying to check what they actually were.

There was also weed

There was also a grinder in his room....which I also got rid of and he had the nerve to call me daft if I thought weed was a drug and that I need to read up on it!!!!

A lot of teens experiment with drugs and alcohol, it's very common. He is 19 so you are limited in how much you can control his actions.

That said, you're his mum so of course you're worried sick. My advice would be to keep communication open with him, make sure he knows the dangers of taking substances and also make him aware of the penalties for being caught in possession or supplying drugs to friends.

There is a huge difference between taking drugs recreationally on the weekend, and using drugs habitually to block out negative emotions or deal with life. Saying he doesn't care about the consequences is just bravado, all teenagers think they are invincible.

Does your son go to college or have a job? Is he functioning in life, well adjusted and able to be self sufficient?

You say he has absolutely everything and I wonder what you mean by that? If you are funding his lifestyle, then that has to stop. Drugs are expensive, for example 1g of cocaine would cost £50, ecstasy tablets around £5-10 each, a bag of weed around £25 so I'm wondering how he can afford all that.

Thanks for your response....he works so has his own money, and always pays board etc ...never have a problem with that.
By way of having everything, I mean he has had a privileged upbringing (he's my only one and I admit freely I have probably spoilt him). And it's not just materialistic things, he has always had my time, and he has always come first, and I would say he has a good life, but obviously he as a teenager will disagree with that I suppose! Apparently I'm a crap mother....but I now take that with a pinch of salt as I've heard it so many times when things don't go his way!!!

He also looks after himself well regarding sorting his meals out, personal hygiene etc.
But I do know the group he hangs with also are known for smoking weed etc.
It's absolutely terrifying!

But I obviously have no control over what he does outside the house, or who he socialises with....which I think is why I am so strict on the fact that he has to follow the rules of the house when he's here and respect my opinion of drug use

It's great that he's working and paying you board and although it may not seem this way to you, I doubt he has a drug "problem". Cannabis use is so common amongst his age group. To reassure you, cannabis and ecstasy are not addictive substances.

If you are paying for his car, phone, clothes or whatever I would think about stopping that, purely so he doesn't have so much disposable income.

Stand your ground though. He's living at home so a no drugs in the house rule is your decision and he needs to respect that. You need to be committed to it too though so if you do find him with drugs in the house, he's out. He probably thinks you're a soft touch.

I've actually kicked him out before! Over how he spoke to me, and treated me (I suspect he may have been taking something looking back!) But I let him back after a few weeks on the condition his behaviour changed...which it did....but now this happens! ( he stayed with a family member by the way so I know he was safe)
I just feel it's one thing after another and I wish he could just respect me and my decision for once. I know a lot of parents say this, but I really have not raised him to be like this and I just don't know where it comes from.
It's like the nursery rhyme.....when she's good, she's very very good, but when she's bad she's horrid!!! That's my son too a T!

I sympathise, parenting teenage sons is so hard. It's definitely given me grey hair and wrinkles. He knows you won't stand for him disrespecting you or allow drugs in the house so at least you are giving him some boundaries. If he is surrounded by friends who take drugs recreationally then it has probably become normalised for him to an extent. Some of it might be him rebelling and pushing you away. all part and parcel of being a teen in my experience. Make sure he is aware of the consequences of being caught in possesion of quantities of drugs. The penalties for intent to supply are harsh; a custodial sentence and a record that would affect his work. It is also now possible for police to drug test as well as breathalise at the side of the road, so drug driving is taken seriously (if he drives).

Thank you so much for your responses xx