Dd 15 has always been quite challenging but just keeps upping the anti to the point I can't cope anymore and feel constantly anxious. She has a diagnosis of ADHD and is quite complex, she sees a doctor from camhs every other week and has done for four years. She has been excluded from mainstream and attends a school for children with behavioural and emotional difficulties. I know she is struggling but won't let anyone in to help her, refuses all interventions and will not engage with any family therapy, anger management or other services offered such as CBT.
She does what she wants when she wants and has no empathy for anyone. Her friendships and relationships are very volatile as she won't compromise it's about what she wants 24/7. She is extremely verbally abusive and every time I say no or challenge her behaviour or sometimes just even ask how her days been I'm met with "Fuck off, go fuck yourself" and emotional blackmail. Every weekend she goes out with friends despite me giving her no money recently due to behaviour and will call me between 2-6am begging for a lift home, grounding doesn't work physical force would be required. She isn't independent at all her rooms a pigsty she'd rather starve or dehydrate than get it herself to the point that she'll make herself ill, but when it comes to going out the motivations there. She can be pleasant chatty etc if things are going the way she wants it and no one comments on her behaviour or tries to stop her doing something, but it never lasts long before an unreasonable request is made I decline then back to square 1. After every weekend she reluctantly apologises but does nothing to try and change or show she's sorry it's more of a "FFS I'm sorry what more do you want". She will blow up be incredibly abusive then come in a minute later like nothing's happened "what's for dinner" any talk of incident before then results in "oh I see you want an argument bringing it back up" and off we go again. She never owns her behaviour it's my fault or her friends or her teachers!
My friends/family/colleagues get frustrated as every occasion ends up revolving around Dd . I have asked for help from camhs, SS and the GP and offered no real advice. I have been advised to have her phone cut off but am wary to do that as it's the only way I know where she is and with whom.