Is the future already set?

[bananasmoothie]

Hoping to get some insight from parents of older kids here...

I have 2 sons (aged 8 and 6), my 8 year old has always been an 'easy' child, sensible, polite, well behaved etc... my youngest has always been a handful, he's the spitting image of his dad, looks like him, talks like him, walks like him, acts like him..seriously it's strange how similar they are.

The thing is his dad no longer lives here but they see him every other weekend, my eldest likes to see him but isnt all that bothered...my youngest idolises him, he worships the ground he walks on...he routinly tells people "you're not as strong as my dad, he's the strongest man in the world, he can do anything..." he genuinly loves him to bits which is nice...

BUT, he is starting to grow up like him, he's cheeky, naughty, rude...all the things his dad was at his age, especially the trouble I'm having with him at school...it's as if we're re-living his dads school days.

What I'm worried about is...is the future set already? will he end up like his dad? stacking shelves in a supermarket...is that his future as he's so like his father?

What are your experiences? Do you believe our kids future is already set?

yes and no - I do think children are born with a personality, but I also think that their future is influenced by how that personality is guided and parented. So if you react to your son in the way his dad's parents/school etc reacted to his dad, he may well end up like his dad. But if you use different cleverer tactics and learn from their mistakes you have a chance to bring out the best in him.

The really handy thing about this situation is that you can look at ds dad's upbringing and think about how that might have impacted on him, and how you might have done things better.

It's fantastic that he loves and respects his dad and his dad is involved - any chance that his dad might help you out on this?

charachteristics are quite different from life chances.

life chances are attained through education IMO with a good upbringing to back this up.

if you afford your children the support they need to get a good education then stacking shelves at a supermarket will only be an option whilst they want extra money for whilst they are at university.

my dh is quite intelligent did well at school. my youngest ds adores his father quite like you describe - although their charachters are not the same. my youngest ds has not got the academic requirements to pass his GCSEs and will have an apprenticeship in carpentry ( his choice)