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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Taking 17 year olds out for driving practice

109 replies

Sparklingbrook · 03/12/2016 19:12

Anyone else doing this? just wanted to compare notes. Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 03/12/2016 21:06

It really is all about practice at the end of the day.

OP posts:
SparklesandBangs · 03/12/2016 21:08

DD1 is to put it politely not a confident driver and was likely to have a panic attack at roundabouts, spent just over a year learning and failed 2 test, now given up. She drove me twice and I was terrified. DH went out with her sometimes.

DD2 was keen to learn and had her first lesson on her 17th birthday, she has practiced with DH from day 1 and once she got through the initial lessons I braved going out with her. It's good that she has magnetic plates so she can't go over 55mph or the fall off! We nearly took out some pedestrians at a pelican crossing but in general her driving was fine. In fact a couple of weeks ago she drove me for 60 minutes up a busy A road and then cross country lanes none of which she had ever been on before. I drove back but only because she was looking after the cat we had collected which needed to be in the back seat.

HemanOrSheRa · 03/12/2016 21:10

Yes Sparkling we had words too. The thing is DP was adamant that I was only panicking because I wasn't used to being a passenger. I was adamant it really was because he was too close to the parked cars. As a learner driver. On my insurance. I'm assuming it maybe different if you are taking your DC's out? In that they will differ to your experience and knowledge Grin.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 03/12/2016 21:14

Well you would think Heman but not always. Grin Sometimes we have a debrief when we get home especially if I am making a suggestion.

I did wonder if a dashcam would be useful.

OP posts:
Mum2jenny · 03/12/2016 21:23

Yes, I've done it with three teenagers. The first wasn't mine so it was easier. No real problems but I did start with them in a local airfield until they had mastered the basics. All passed their test first time too.

PossumInAPearTree · 03/12/2016 21:26

Dd will be learning to drive in a year so watching this thread with interest.

Do you have smaller cars for your dc to practice in? We only have a mondeo 1.8ltr and then a focus estate 1.6ltr which is also quite big.

They just both to me seem a bit big both size and engine wise. Am I worrying too much? I used to practice in my mums micra.

Snowflake65 · 03/12/2016 21:27

Got DS to test standard with an instructor but there is a 4 month delay for booking tests round here so in the intervening period he drove me anywhere he wanted to go for the practise (apart from rush hour).

It is scary on many levels, the lack of control, the fact that your offspring is driving you and the fact that you are putting both your lives in danger.

HemanOrSheRa · 03/12/2016 21:32

I think a dashcam would be an excellent idea Sparkling. If they'd been around when DP was a learner it is definitely something I would have tried. It's very difficult when you are trying desperately not to say anything while they are driving, so you don't interrupt their flow and make things worse. But do feel that mistakes need to be pointed out. A dashcam would allow you to go through the journey.

Sometimes I think teenagers need absolute proof that you aren't blowing out of your arse and may indeed be right!

TeenAndTween · 03/12/2016 21:34

DH is teaching DD1. She has dyspraxia. We had a lot of trouble finding an automatic instructor. Found one, he took her out, terrified her, told her she was hopeless (!).

We accidentally/luckily bought a £500 dual control car for her to practice in, but DH has ended up doing the teaching at the moment too. (I have spent years helping with homework, so this is his responsibility).

DH reckons that people see the L plates and are anxious not to get stuck behind them so do daft things they wouldn't do with a normal driver.

We really would like her to pass by next summer when she leaves college, but it is slow progress as the dyspraxia effects her hazard awareness and general control. it is driving DH to drink

lexatin · 03/12/2016 21:38

#3 drove a variety of things, she even had a go in the lorry (hgv not on a real road) and was amazed at pulling away in 4th gear even for a little hill start but eventually got her a polo. She could drive anything confidently, they had a series of truly crap cars and land rovers to learn in off road. That was the easy part really, it's much scarier when they are out there on their own.

BikeRunSki · 03/12/2016 21:39

My mum took me out once. Then she write a cheque to BSM.

iknowimcoming · 03/12/2016 22:00

I'm doing this at the moment with dd, having said I wouldn't and DH could do it as I'm quite a nervy passenger at the best of times. It's quite stressful as contrary to earlier post she basically disagrees with me at every opportunity Hmm. She has improved a lot though (been doing it for approx 3 weeks) although I have had an indirect telling off from her instructor for telling her to keep away from the kerbs Blush

Sgtmajormummy · 03/12/2016 22:26

We have our second session tomorrow Smile.

DS has had about 10 hours of driving lessons with an instructor so the basics have been covered but the school's cars are all the same model. DS had problems with de-clutching, wanting to switch off the indicator when it took a nanosecond longer than the school car, parked way off centre and memorably stalled at the traffic lights (nobody behind us). He also changed when the display told him, rather than listening to the engine.

He was safe enough but very rule-bound and obviously it's far from instinctive for him. He'll get there in the end.
I was outwardly calm and had been looking forward to it but I chose a place in the middle of nowhere on a Sunday morning, for his sake and mine. Tomorrow we're driving from home...

CointreauVersial · 03/12/2016 22:46

We are about four weeks in! DS has had six hours of lessons so far, and started off doing a bit of practice with DH in the residential roads nearby, then as of last week he has been driving his sisters and me to school in the morning (well, I have to do the reversing out of the drive and the tricky T-junction at the end of the road, then he does the rest). He has done several hours each weekend; last Sunday we drove to Gatwick to visit the McDonalds Drive Thru (well, you need some sort of mission, don't you?) and coped well with his first slip road, a steep hill, and overtaking a horse (not all at once!).

He is shaping up to be quite a good driver, quite confident behind the wheel (maybe a little too confident Hmm). I'm not teaching hime technique really, as I think that's best left to his instructor, but I am advising him on road positioning, which gear to be in, and highlighting areas where he needs to be looking out for hazards. He's stalled a few times, once while turning right off a main road, but I've stayed calm. DH is a little more stressy!

He is desperate to pass his test - he can't wait to have his independence.

Haffdonga · 03/12/2016 22:53

Oh dear. You're making me feel guilty. Ds is learning but after two sessions with him I decided I valued my life more than my cash and the driving instructor can be the one who risks his all to take ds out on the roads.

I know Im being unreasonable because he's not actually that bad a driver most of the time .

BertieBotts · 03/12/2016 22:57

Someone said above that it should be illegal to go out without a proper instructor. I'm learning in a country where this is illegal and it's a pain in the arse, honestly! I find it really hard to get enough practice in and it would probably benefit me to have a bit of practice in a different car and have someone who knows me much better explain things to me (or at least try...) as it is, DH has gingerly let me park a couple of times on the empty top floor of a multi storey (technically vv illegal!) but it's not much help really and then he always panics because I'm not in the car long enough to actually get used to the controls, so obviously I have issues with controlling it.

Language is an issue too, I appreciate that wouldn't be the problem for most people.

Timetogetup0630 · 04/12/2016 07:40

Have just done this.
Lessons with a driving school first.
Then start with Sunday mornings on industrial estate and build up to driving in the rush hour in the town where the test will be taken.

I am very patient but did keep my fists clenched several times.
She passed first time !

simbobs · 04/12/2016 08:45

My DD is having practice sessions with me to complement the paid lessons. The instructor seems to expect it and I don't think you can get nearly enough driving experience from just having paid lessons. She is not an instinctive driver but is making progress. It is good for her overall confidence to be able to drive different cars. It is pretty nerve-racking, though.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2016 08:52

Does anyone think that the way they are taught has changed from when they were learning?

It feels as if it's a bit 'dont stop unless you really have to' now if that makes sense?

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pollypomegranate · 04/12/2016 08:54

I only had proper lessons myself and passed first time. It isn't impossible! Then after my test my parents came with me on my first few journeys in their car, then I was fine on my own!

SoupDragon · 04/12/2016 08:58

Unfortunately, my insurance company refused to cover DS1 onmy car so I can't. I didn't pursue other insurance companies or question it as the thought of being in a car with him in charge fills me with utter horror!

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2016 09:00

I have insured DS through Marmalade, in his own right. It's costing £80 a month though.

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ArgyMargy · 04/12/2016 09:04

I've done this with two DC and was utterly terrified the first time but obviously it got better. Agree with Sparkling the rules are different now so I never tried to teach, just provided reassurance and asked them to recall what their instructor had taught them. They had an amazing instructor but you really need to practice between lessons.

If you think going out with them while they're learning is scary, just wait until they've passed their test and start going out on their own... Grin

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2016 09:07

I am really trying to not think about that Argy Shock

Because ultimately he will be driving alone that's why I am doing what I can for him to get as much practice in now as possible. Still hard though. Going to do some more today. Sigh.

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Sgtmajormummy · 04/12/2016 09:56

I think driving styles have changed because car technology has changed.

Power steering, anti-lock brakes, parking sensors etc. just weren't expected when I learned to drive, so there was a lot more responsibility on the driver to do the work.