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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

What characteristics of the child do you miss most? Will the come back?

42 replies

eyelevelgrill · 16/11/2016 20:26

Mine's 13 3/4, classic Mole territory.

He talked in a kind loving voice to us all, he was a real peacemaker. He could bring people together and was blind to their faults.

Now he argues back in a ghastly legalistic way and corrects needlessly. (I wonder who he gets it from?)

And of course I can't get him off the xbox....

Will his loving nature just be a bit hidden as he adjusts? Please say yes.

OP posts:
Hassled · 16/11/2016 20:30

Yes :o
They get quite pompous in their early teens, I find. Self righteous and self important. Then they find maturity out of somewhere and start to learn to pick their battles and become more measured. You won't end up with the same person you started with but you will end up with a nice person again. That's been my experience, anyway.

Original poster
eyelevelgrill · 16/11/2016 20:32

thank you.xx

I know it's as it should be but I guess it's a sort of saying goodbye to someone you loved very much.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 16/11/2016 20:35

Yes.
My 20 yr old and 18 yr old are lovely.
The 15 yr old still needs a bit of work Wink

FeckinCrutches · 16/11/2016 20:37

In my experience, absolute knobs from 12-15.

Aroundtheworldandback · 17/11/2016 14:34

What I miss is ds's adoration and unquestionable belief that I was nothing less than perfect. A bit like a puppyGrin I so agree that it's like saying goodbye to someone you loved. Im trying to love his 16yo replacement who this morning asked me what it's like living off someone else (dh as I'm not able to work at the moment), but finding it rather a challenge..

swingofthings · 17/11/2016 14:35

I miss the physical contact. They used to be glued to me and very affectionate. Now I just have to go towards them for a hug and they back off with a look on their faces. Even when they go ahead with it, I feel they want to de-tangle asap. It is a bit awkward because I'm 5'2'' and DD is 5'7'' and DS who is only 13 is already 6'0''!

Original poster
eyelevelgrill · 17/11/2016 15:03

Flowers aroundtheworld

OP posts:
Original poster
eyelevelgrill · 17/11/2016 15:04

Oh god yes the cuddles.....they were so central to the relationship...

I loved the cuddles.

I guess this is why people get dogs at this stage...

OP posts:
Original poster
eyelevelgrill · 17/11/2016 15:05

And that thing where they see you and break into a run.....

OP posts:
TheCakes · 17/11/2016 15:09

aroundtheworld I hope he saw the irony

Squirrills · 17/11/2016 15:54

I miss being needed.
Mine are 20 and 18 and lovely, thoughtful and affectionate.
They can be a little self righteous and idealistic, but I think they are also learning that the world isn't as black and white as they used to believe it was.

PosiePootlePerkins · 17/11/2016 18:08

Mine is 12 so not quite a teenager, but seems to have transformed into a moping miserable boy over the last few weeksSad
Gone are the days where he'd happily amuse himself doing lego, drawing or reading, now its just a gloomy 'I just don't know what to doooooo' and a bit more moping.
Any suggestions just met with 'nah'
Come back my sunny happy boy!

Aroundtheworldandback · 17/11/2016 20:13

Thank you eyelevelgrill, you made me well up just now reminding me about when they broke into a runSad. No TheCakes the irony was lost on him, as are most things which don't involve his girlfriend.

SaltyBitch · 17/11/2016 20:31

aroundtheworld I hope he saw the irony

Did you point it out?

Original poster
eyelevelgrill · 17/11/2016 20:57

It was the best thing ever.

This is why people get dogs isn't it?

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldandback · 17/11/2016 21:00

SaltyBitch the convo happened prior to my morning caffeine injection so not having the strength, I just turfed him out the car at his bus stop

swingofthings · 18/11/2016 08:30

The comment about the dog made me laugh! Probably a lot of truth behind it!

Waitingfordolly · 18/11/2016 08:39

I don't normally like sayings on FB but the one that said "Get a dog when you have teenagers, then at least someone in the house will be pleased to see you" made me laugh. 13 3/4 here too as well. Sometimes lovely, sometimes horrible.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 18/11/2016 12:51

Def miss the cuddles. My DDs are nearly 16 and to think I used to feel over touched by the pair of them, clambering all over me, trying to sit on my lap whilst I was on the loo, begging to sit next to me at dinner, lying all over me watching TV.

I'm pathetically grateful if I get a short hug these days.

BackforGood · 18/11/2016 14:26

The hugs come back people. It's just you that gets enveloped in a big bear hug. They love it when they get bigger than you and are the one to have their arms on top in a hug Grin

Original poster
eyelevelgrill · 18/11/2016 15:37

Yeah but they won't pick me up and let me wrap all my arms and legs round them will they?

Hmm, wonder grandchildren are an option......

Clearly this why my parents got a dog when I was 27.

OP posts:
lljkk · 18/11/2016 15:55

DD was amenable & maleable lacked the venomous tongue
DS1 made friends easily.
I don't see those coming back.
DS2... actually as a child he was 98% PITA. Much nicer now age 12.

dietstartsmonday · 18/11/2016 16:04

Mine are 18, 16 and 15. I got a dog 8 months ago. Yep at least someone is pleased to see me now Grin

Original poster
eyelevelgrill · 18/11/2016 16:23

To make matters worse, my lovely 11 year old has got pubic hair so it won't be long till he turns teen too....

OP posts:
dietstartsmonday · 18/11/2016 16:35

Best thing we ever did OP