Shouting at my teen

[fatmumma]

She is stroppy and takes any problem out on me. Mostly I am patient but really lost it this weekend... I feel so bad, I can remember being 14, but I feel
so moody at the moment that I snapped

You probably taught your daughter that you can't be her verbal punchbag and that you have limits too......

You are right Ferretfred thanks

My girl is a daddy's girl and I'm quite soft with her, so she has been stropping and pushing recently . I felt so guilty when I snapped back!!

Mine is also a Daddy's girl

Reading "why me" at the moment, all about teens and menopause clashing which is happening in this house

Good luck with that! I'm dreading when mine starts all that properly. She's unlikely to talk to her mum about it so I could be in the firing line!!

DD spent all day in her bedroom but she gave me a hug after dinner

I feel guilty too Ferret, partly because she reminds me how o spoke to my Mum when I was her age and partly I keep thinking of anything serious happens it is my fault for snapping at her

I shouted at my 12 year old dd earlier

Just really fed up of her asking for my help and then when I try and give it I get eye rolling, rudeness and 'yeah whatever'.

She never apologises for anything either which makes me a bit sad. I often read of rows between mums and daughters and the daughter realises she's been too stroppy and gives the mum a big hug after it's all calmed down. Mine won't even touch me these days

Yet she's all over her dad when she sees him.

I'm the worst. Told my 14 yo DD to eff off and live with her dad. When I say told, I mean shouted. In a public place. On holiday. Fed up of her pushing her 4 yo brother around, literally pushes, shouts, mean at him constantly. Day 4 of holiday and fed up of gentle reminders to be kind. Her reply: I hate him, I wish he didn't exist. And Why did I bother having children if all I do is moan at them.

So upset with everyone in this family (including myself) I don't know where to begin.

Hattie

Hattie You are human too, you have feelings and needs too. Is there any way you can have a little time for yourself?

I've shouted at my kids in public a couple of years ago. They didn't deserve it. I love my kids to bits but I was feeling very trapped and struggling with depression. I did nothing for me, still don't now but trying to as yep I lost it with the kids and DH last week.

Hattie, forgot to say read "Why Me? Diary of teenage daughter and menopausal Mother" by Kate Figes

Just seen these kind replies, thank you. I will look that book up on my kindle. I've been wondering if I'm struggling with depression for some time, but I don't really want to be diagnosed as hate the way it gets referred to every time by health professionals for even unrelated things. I'm just about keeping it together but no I don't get much time to myself, what with working full time, and the three kids. My New Years resolution is to get more sleep, hoping that will build up my strength and mean I'm a bit kinder to everyone (including my partner, who all I seem to do is criticise)

Stop beating yourself up for shouting. You're only human. From experience, I have found that talking it out and apologizing for losing your cool works wonders. So often, our kids are unable to see us as "normal people." To them, we are just "mom." You lost your control and you behaved in a way you regret. Your teen does that, too. Them seeing how you take responsibility for your actions is a very important life lesson.