MSN - how can I "police"

[justbeme]

My Daughter is nearly 12, and chats alot to people on MSN - She is very secretive when I walk in the room - but yesterday I caught sight of one of her conversations. This "girl" called her a Tramp, so my Daughter responded with go F* your Dad - and then the girl replied something like "Shut up or else Im gonna slit your throat!".
Obviously I confronted her and she said its a friend of a friend who she doesnt really know . I made her block the other girl and gave her a right old telling off.
Im appalled at her language - is there a way of blocking swearing on MSN?
How do you deal with your children using MSN?
Any ideas pls -
From a very shocked Mum!!!!!!

I've told my DD1 (12) that use of MSN is conditional on me reading her conversations - if she doesn't like it/thinks I'm invading her privacy, she can't go on. No hassles at the moment - but then haven't worked out how to read them yet! DD was cool about it - we'd already had one bullying incident! She fell out with friend who subsequently blocked her, deleted her from her contacts then called her a bitch to everyone else and tried to get their mutual friends to boycott my DD's birthday party! But in the way of proto-teens, they made up the following week, are friends again and I had to endure being nice to the little madam at said birthday party. Sigh!

DD2 (nearly 10) and DS (6) show no interest in msn at all luckily. In retrospect might have postponed DD1's entry into cyber-space for a few months.

Brightwell (or anyone!) - ive googled key logger programme and so many companies come up - which one do you use? How much did it cost?
I'd be worried about picking any off of a search, you never know if theyre "dodgy" and maybe can pick up YOUR info to use !

This is the one I've used www.ilp4parents.com/, I paid a one off fee of £20.

keep your computer in the family room where you can see it-we can walk up behind the kids.they know we can.

privacy is all well and good ,but not if its used to do unsuitable things,

would never let my kids have internet acess in there own rooms,
alot of my kids friends do and they apparently sometimes go on msn all night.