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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

17 year old ds....what is your one like?

40 replies

Doobydoo · 15/09/2016 19:32

I have one of these.Last year of 6th form. 17 very end of August. Just trying to find out what other 17 year old boys are like!

OP posts:
poppym12 · 27/09/2016 07:56

He's quit college for an apprenticeship but I'm not sure he'll stick at that either. No drive, ambition or motivation.
Smokes, drinks, weed. Shitty attitude. Lazy and entitled. no concept of time. Not sure he eats properly at all as he's always finding excuses for coming home late and then he crashes out.
He's a very closed book.

We used to laugh together and chat.
I no longer know him and my heart aches when I can see that he's not making the most of his life.
And I don't know what to do. If I try to talk to him he becomes defensive and says I'm accusing him of things and it pushes him even further away.

3catsandcounting · 27/09/2016 09:38

Spends a lot of time in his room, gaming, listening to sport. Plays sport most of the weekend. A levels at 6th form. Loves his animals, eats a lot.
Quiet, studious, shy, desperate to please.
Very submissive and law-abiding. The absolute polar opposite of his elder sister.
I wish he had more self-esteem.

helzapoppin2 · 28/09/2016 16:43

Heres mine!
Spent lots of time in his room. Ate us out of house and home. Constant carb fuelling. Bit smelly. Attended college, but to get work out of him was like pulling teeth. Alternately affectionate and aggressive. Wanted to be trusted, ha, ha! Quite tidy. Looked after himself quite well. Funny, insecure, craving independence, but like to be looked after. Clothes conscious.
In the past tense because he left home recently!

helzapoppin2 · 28/09/2016 16:44

Oh, and constantly on the phone to his friends!

musicposy · 01/10/2016 01:34

DD is 17 and has a long term boyfriend of the same age. He eats a lot (ridiculously so compared to DD - I'm very glad I'm usually only feeding girls!) and is heavily into gaming, from what I can see. He's generally chatty, friendly, and quite a pleasure to have around.

I said to him the other day words to this effect and that his parents must be proud of him.

He said "oh, I don't speak to them much. One word replies are enough." Grin

Despairing parents of teen boys, take heart. Your son is probably lovely outside the house!

LynetteScavo · 08/10/2016 17:22

My DS is reasonably quiet, and prone to grunting but when he does speak is funny and very knowledgeable. He's polite and caring and shy keeps himself to himself. He rarely meets up with friends, but it seems to suit them all that way. When they do get together they like to go on night walks. These are more innocent than they sound. None of them smoke or take drugs, or have girlfriends but they do like to deplete try the contents of my alcohol collection.

He's very sensitive and worries about consumerism and the world ending due to climate change. He was vegan for a while, but I struggled with it. Now he's vegetarian and avoids milk, but hasn't tried to convert the rest of us.

Everything got too much for him last year at he dropped out of 6th form.He's now doing Btec and Alevel maths and isn't being academically challenged which annoys me, but at least he's happy. He spends a lot of time playing guitar (beautifully) and is generally adorable. His bedroom is spotless and he does all his own laundry. He loves long showers in the morning when I need to get ready for workAngry, and blow dries his hair every day. Confused

This is the same boy who was "challenging" and "wilful", had huge, destructive melt downs and was excluded several times in primary school.

I'm very, very proud of him. Smile

5madthings · 08/10/2016 17:34

Aug born, geeky, quiet very studious. Current in Edinburgh visiting uni on open day.

Generally a lovely boy, bit sullen and grumpy and lacks empathy but hos teachers love him and he will help out at homeetc.

He spend a lot of time studying and can be very insular and quite closed but is getting better at being more sociable. Lacks confidence and needs a bit more life experience but has and is giving us a very easy ride through teenage years.

Ds2 is a whole different kettle of fish!

Iwanttoseethesea · 08/10/2016 17:43

DS nearly 17. Says he enjoys 6th firm which is refreshing after 5 years of "I hate school and all my teachers are wankers". Has a job in fast food restaurant that I pushed him to get but he likes. Has a wide circle of friends and goes out most evenings to a "party" , drinks alcohol at the weekends ( threw up last week with first hangover. Bless )

Is more confident and self assured than I ever was at his age which will take him far I hope.

OnMyWhistle · 08/10/2016 17:50

My 17 year old and I have been uni visiting today today. He's lovely, geeky, thoughtful, will ask me everyday if there is anything he can do for me. Heavily into gaming, not at all sporty, private and not very confident. He's also clever and funny. Also seems happy living in a pit. Procrastinates far too much over school work but seems to do well in the end. I was only 18 when I had him and if he was my only one I'd be congratulating myself on what a great parenting job I've done - DD makes me think the opposite 😄 I'll miss him if he goes to uni next year!

yeOldeTrout · 08/10/2016 17:51

DS is almost 17.
You know that thread we had about "what would make you deeply disappointed in your DC?": well, DS ticks plenty of the disappointing items.

On bright side...
Thinks drugs & smoking are stupid (appalling, even).
Keen to stay fit.
Doesn't sweat the small stuff.
Emotionally mature, moderately clever, believes in hard work & meritocracy.
Believes in doing right thing.
Is grateful for the problems he doesn't have.
Has a very focused career plan.
Can be very easy to live with (if we respect his boundaries)
Comes to talk to me several times a day.

ImperialBlether · 08/10/2016 18:02

My son hadn't discovered hard work at that age - he was so relaxed he was virtually (and literally, a lot of the time) horizontal.

There was a dodgy point where his room (on the third floor) was a central point for boys I didn't know - I noticed some of his older friends were staying away, too. I went up there and found it stunk of weed. I sent him a text saying if I saw any one of those boys near our house I would call the police - instantly he was dropped by them and went back to his old friends.

He's always been an easy boy, though and I appreciate I'm very lucky. He gets ratty if he's hungry, but apart from that he was happy to spend time with me and we'd watch Louis Theroux, anything to do with gangs, war, car chases, prisons etc - basically anything where someone's face is pixelated out!

Anydaysoon · 08/10/2016 18:30

Name changed for this, my 17 year old is a nightmare. Just today the police were involved when he tried to defraud money from our bank account, the bank called them. I had to lie to the police, at their suggestion, so that he wasn't arrested and charged.
He has stolen and driven our car, he's in court later this month.
Smoked weed in the past. Doesn't drink though.
Left school at 16, has a job which he barely hangs on to.
We have bailed him out of debts so many times in the past.
Too many other things to list here have happened.
His girlfriend is pregnant which is incredibly scary as neither of them is in the least bit capable. They are living with us otherwise they would be homeless. To be honest I don't want him living with us anymore, but I am trying to protect our grandchild.
It looks terrible written down I know, and I wish it wasn't all true. His dad and I are at our wits end.
On the upside he can be incredibly thoughtful, funny and kind.

BackforGood · 08/10/2016 23:33

Mine (now 20) at that age......
just beginning to get on with his sister, after 15 yrs of fighting
hard worker at his (paid) job, and in his volunteering, but absolutely not at (school) work
NIGHTMARE to get out of bed
No organisational skills
However, great communicator / social skills
Still impulsive, lacking planning skills
Starving at all times

Howlongtilldinner · 11/10/2016 02:30

My 18YO DS..lazy/selfish/ungrateful/inconsiderate/unmotivated/entitled. Complete lack of regard/respect for me.only contacts me/speaks to me when he wants something. I'm a single parent and his Dad has had no (responsible) input in his life after we split when he was 9.
Has no interest in working (just started unii because work is a little daunting) and has no 'life plan'. Doesn't listen to a word of advice and has probably spent his first student finance payment on pizza/going out/weed and a PS4.

I struggle to find anything positive to say about him at the moment (which breaks my heart as I love him dearly) but I hope that being away from home makes him appreciate me/home.

weegiemum · 11/10/2016 02:48

This is really helpful - my D's is al most 15, we caught him vaping tpdY And there are hints from his big sister of weed. Want to get on top of it but apart from cutting v off all his money what do we do? I think his allowance s the key. Ugh.

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