worried about dd's eventual breakup

12 replies

misshelena · 04/08/2016 16:13

My 16-yo dd has been dating a lovely 16-yo boy for about 6 months. Everything is going great right now. But I am worried about their eventual breakup (I've read that first romances last 4 months on avg). Their situation is bit complicated because they'll still be forced to see each other almost everyday after they break up.
They both play on the same sports team in the same school and belong to the same club team outside of school. This particular sports is on almost the entire year and is very intense. They are both very popular members of these teams and when they first got together it was difficult for some boys and girls to accept because they were hoping to date either one of them. So there's been constant drama since the beginning even to this day. And parents and coaches share their opinions too!

So I am wondering if anyone has gone through a similar breakup with their teen and if you could share your experience and wisdom?

OP posts:

DropYourSword · 04/08/2016 16:15

I got together with my first boyfriend ages 15 and we stayed together for 6 years, so it's not a given! But if, as and when they do split up, it's just another life lesson. They'll traverse it and figure it out. Try not to let it bother you.

proudnewMNaddict · 04/08/2016 16:16

You are asking advice over a problem which hasn't even occurred yet. If thats all you have to worry about consider yourself lucky

lucyjordon · 04/08/2016 16:18

I think you are over thinking this. It's just a teenage romance at the moment, nothing for adults to get dramatic about. The chances are they'll both have lots of break ups to come, it's called life :-)

WaffleOverload · 04/08/2016 16:18

Yes my 17 year old finished with her first boyfriend last night. They'd been together 8 months and he's heartbroken and so is she as she feels guilty but knows it's for the best (she wants to go to uni next year and he lacks ambition so she's being very sensible)

They work together in a part time job and catch a bus together. I've been supportive and sympathetic but we've all been there haven't we? I'd just be 'mum' when she needs you and stop thinking about it. It's a rite of passage and happens to us all

lucyjordon · 04/08/2016 16:20

Also most people who who become romantically involved with some they got to school/college/uni/work with, are still going to see that person in a regular basis. Again, it's just something they will learn to deal with. Don't make it out to be a really big deal - you will be doing them no favours in the long run.

happystory · 04/08/2016 16:20

I understand where you're coming from. Been through all that with dd! They probably will split up. They may not. It's something you will just have to help her with if it happens. A wise aunt said to me when I was about that age 'it's lovely to have a boyfriend but it brings its own problems.' It does but that's how teenagers learn about life.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 04/08/2016 16:21

I'm still with the boy I was with at 16. Honestly, cross that bridge when you come to it. It could be her decision, and regardless she'll get through it with friends and love songs and the rest of it. Don't worry about it until it becomes a reality, though.

Heidibb · 05/08/2016 14:19

My 17 year old BIL has been with his girlfriend for over 2 years now although it might not last much longer It's both of their first relationship.

rogueantimatter · 07/08/2016 11:15

Being optimistic, it might last until they leave school or, given that they both seem to be extroverts a break-up might not be as awkward as you fear - sometimes they bounce back incredibly quickly. Sometimes these relationships fizzle out over a prolonged period of time and end amicably. I'd try not to worry about this.

My DC are slightly older and I've learnt that whatever you think is likely to happen hardly ever does. They surprise you.

SomeonesRealName · 07/08/2016 16:59

My dsis is married to someone she met as a young teen. They are both late 30s now with a family.

RoughMagic · 07/08/2016 17:03

Without being harsh, it's something everyone has to deal with at one time or another. When I broke up with my first boyfriend, I still had to see him every day as we took the same A Level subject. It was awkward for a while but we both survived. You DD will be fine. Don't blow it out of proportion before it's even happened!

EweAreHere · 07/08/2016 17:12

Most relationships end. You marry (or partner up for what you hope is life) or they end. It will be good practice about how to handle it when it happens.

Flip