Does anyone else feel that parenting a teen is a whole different kettle of fish from parenting 8 or 9 (and younger) year olds? And that people with a 6 year old who say "well, I'd never allow that" or similar have got a bit of a shock coming
I have a nearly 15 year old DD and amongst my friends and family (other than my 11 year old DD) she is the eldest by about 6 or 7 years.
DD is a pretty good kid, she hasn't given us any major issues so far, and when I see that some of her friends are over the park drinking and smoking, I think she's doing OK
However, some of my friends and family seem very disapproving of the things we allow her to do and all I ever hear is stuff like "well, I'd never let my DD do that" or "well, I'd just make them".
I'm not suggesting anything outrageous, just general stuff like wearing make up, wearing clothes that aren't particularly to my taste, mooching round town, etc. DD used to have piano lessons but last year she decided she wanted to give it up, we let her and I got criticisms about how I should have just made her do it
I just smile and nod, but actually it really pisses me off. We're all doing our best, but sometimes it comes across as them being superior.
SiL gave me a big lecture a couple of weeks ago about make up and vanity and how she's making sure her DD is not materialistic - her DD is 5. If her DD agrees with her at 15 then great, but equally, she might not
I'm not really sure how to explain what I mean really, I don't want to be patronising towards parents of younger children and be a know it all about it, but at the same time, I think that as they get older there's a lot of compromises to be made and "just make her do it" is not really an option any more