I don't really get much say on what goes on in our house anymore so usually I will just leave everyone to it and trust my wife will do what's best but I just don't think she is right this time. It may be quite long as I will be starting from the beginning so I apologise in advance.
March of last year our elder ds, 17 at the time and 19 now, started seeing a girl he knew from school after a few weeks of seeing her he had his 18th birthday party and asked if she could stay the night after the party and then stay the next night of his actual birthday too and we said yes that was fine. She stayed both nights and most the day the day after his birthday then she went home for a few days and came back and basically didn't leave again for more than a night or 2. She was a very lovely girl, very polite and helpful and got on well with the family so when she ended up spending the night most nights we didn't complain much. This went on until July and then she started staying less and less until mid August when we didn't see her again.
My wife asked if things had ended between them and our DS told us they were never actually together and she got a bit fed up and decided she wanted to stop seeing him. I had got the impression that he was the one choosing not to actually be together and she had left things between them because she was fed up(like he said) of not being in a relationship. But to my wife this said she was messing about with our DS and she wasn't as nice as she seemed and although all he said was she got fed up she assume that this ment she just got bored and decided to move on to someone new.
Fast forward to April this year and our son has started seeing this girl again and 3 weeks ago they officially became a couple. When son asked if she could sleep over my wife said no straight away. When asked why she said she wanted to go over some rules first and asked me to back her up, which I would have done anyway.
Her new rule is that his girlfriend can't stay anymore than 2 nights a week which would be fair enough and I'd agree with if it wasn't for my younger son, 17 having a completely different rule. He is allowed his girlfriend, 16, to stay over when he pleases and she often doesn't go home for more than a couple of hours. She is even saying that our older son can't have his girlfriend to stay over during the week that we are away even though it is not going to effect us at all whether she is or isn't around.
My wife and DS girlfriend got on really well and would often go shopping together or to see a film and she would always be helping out with dinner or housework so I was confused why she no longer wants her staying here much. I asked if something had gone on that I didn't know about or if our DS had told her something and she told me there wasn't but she just doesn't want to see our DS getting messed around and hurt. Surely this is our DS call to make though. He is older enough to deal with it with out his mothers intervention.
I just think it's very unfair that elder DS and his girlfriend have a harsher rule and younger DS and his girlfriend can do what they like. This post was about my elder DS so I won't go into details but the youngers girlfriend has often done things(not purposefully) that have upset and offended me and my wife so she has more reason to have rules for her than the elder girl.
Is it worth bringing up with my wife about this unfair rule or should I just continue to leave her to it?