routines

[buddup]

Hi folks, any suggestions for a routine for my 2 teenager boys ie. Home from school, chill, tea, homework, no tech after 9 etc? (Ps. I have tried this one and it doesn't work) xx

Why do you need to implement a routine?

Yes, I'd also ask why the need for a routine?

My boys are 12 and 13. Me and my Dh are full time teachers so as you can imagine we are a very busy household. I just feel without routine they would seriously stay on their Xbox without eating, sleeping or showering ever again!

What do you mean that routine didn't work? What specifically do you want to achieve? Are there issues with hygiene, homework, attitude?

It caused friction. They didn't want to come off their Xbox to eat their tea or do their homework. But if I say they have to do their homework and have tea before they go on their Xbox then they wolf down their food and scribble out any old stuff for homework because they are in such a rush to get on their Xbox.

So? If there homework is crap because it's rushed they will no doubt have to do it again in detention.
What about home from school, uniform off, xbox until dinner is ready (which gives them a definite time to turn off) then no xbox after dinner until all homework done.

How about letting them have free rein on the xbox until dinner but make dinner quite late (say 7.30) by which time they'll be hungry and willing to leave their games. Then tackle homework. If that's done by 9, another 45 minutes on the xbox until shower and bed.

What games are they playing? Are they playing online so are playing to another's timetable?

Hello,

Although younger, our technology rules are simple: don't come off when told to, loose it for a while. If your feeling really mean, delete saved games!

I wouldn't suggest forced routines in ones so old - more checking if homework has been done the next morning and removing xboxes while they are at school for an evening or two if it hadn't been done, they will sort themselves out fast enough.

Home, snack, X-Box, tea, homework, relax with no tech? Timings obviously depend on when they get home, and bedtimes.

I have to say this is my hypothetical teen routine. I was never much good at implementing routines myself, from babyhood onwards! I do so understand the desire to wrest back some control from the dreaded Tech god, though!

Two options then.

One. Remove Xbox completely. Allow access at weekends only.

Two. Let them take responsibility for themselves. So if their homework's crap they get bollocked at school - not your problem. If they don't appear at dinner time they get cold dinner, or no dinner. Again not your problem.

Homework first. Limit time on Xbox anyway. They don't need to be on it for hours. Have an hour on it. Then it's dinner.

Mine are 13 and the routine is as follows:

Home, uniform off and shower, chill and snack, till four thirty (unless they have a club in which case it's home and shower and straight on to homework)

Then at four thirty start homework. Once homework is complete tv or PlayStation allowed, then supper is at six thirty, they might need to help before or after.

After supper a bit of tv but no more gaming, then chilling until bed time at nine thirty.

It works for us, I'm also a teacher so usually home by five, occasionally later.

If they have no homework they go straight on to the PlayStation, but I'll get them off it after two hours regardless.

In the past when they abused the rules I have been known to take the controllers to work with me, so they generally follow the routine pretty well.

My dcs never really manage much homework after supper, so I find it's best to do it earlier, then chill and hang out as a family after supper.

We are both teachers too.

DD (nearly 17) comes in around 3.30 and goes to bed (generally is knackered due to "having to get up so early in the morning", not because of too many late nights) most afternoons. Her phone is permanently attached to her for Social Media purposes.

DS (15)comes in around 4.30 and watches Flog It or Place in the Sun or whatever whilst on Social Media on his ipad unless he has footy training (2 nights), then he has to get ready and eat and go back out.

They get on with homework after we eat (usually around 6/6.30)

We used to have no Xbox Mon - Thurs,worked well. Ds is just 15 now and sorts his own routine out

Mine - year 7 & year 9 - come in, get snack, watch tv for half an hour to chill (til 5ish) & then do homework or whatever they need to do til 7pm (dinner), then after that they will carry on with h/w or watch TV/PS4 etc. It's only a loose routine & the year 9 tends to organise herself OK, although she could spend less time on YouTube!!

Mine come in at about 4:30, or later if there is an after school club, have a snack, and get on with whatever they have to do, or want to do.

We eat at about 7:00. This used to be earlier, but now my youngest DC is 12, we no longer need to worry about really early bed times, and it means there's not such a rush to prepare a meal.

After dinner, again, if they have homework, they do it, and if not, they amuse themselves however they want.

The 12yo goes to bed at 9 on a school night. The older two (17 and 15) go when they want to, but both are in bed by 10, although not necessarily with the light out.

When the 17yo was 15, DH thought we should have a no phones in bedroom rule, but DC1 pointed out to me that all homework was being done, grades were not slipping, etc, so I agreed that it was okay for them to regulate themselves.

I let the school deal with shoddy/undone homework, unless they involve me, in which case we help to sort it out.

I do ask if they have homework, but I never check it, unless they want me to. If I know they have homework, and are, say, playing on the Xbox, I will ask when they intend to do it. They will make up a time on the spot tell me when they intend to start, and if they are not doing it by then, I will remind them.

They are all really good, in the main, at making sure all their work is done, so I leave them to it.