THEY'RE STEALING FROM MY DAUGHTER.

[Wondermum81]

I wrote this post out and as I was reading through it all got confusing and it was unclear who I'm talking about at times so I've made some fake names, they obviously aren't the real names. My daughters boyfriend is James, his brother is Mark and his girlfriend is Sophie.

My daughter stays at her boyfriend a lot, could even say she's moved in there tbh haha.

When she first started staying about 15 months ago some of her stuff started to go missing but she just assumed it was just her forgetting where she put things as she was in a different place and it was only small things so wasn't a problem. She stopped staying for 3/4 months due to an illness and only started staying again last week and stuff started to go missing again and this time it was more expensive things e.g a £25 mascara and a £200 pound pair of earrings are a few.

She rang me tonight in tears saying she was driving home because she's found out where all her stuff has been going. She came home and she told me that it is her boyfriends brothers girlfriend. I asked if she was sure and how does she know and she said she is 100% sure, she saw Sophie in James room when she thought they were out and said she was looking for a deodorant for Mark but when James said to him oh here's the deodorant later that day he had no clue what he was on about as he had never asked for it. That was her first sign. Then over the last week Sophie has been "brought by her mum" the same things my daughter has lost. Originally she thought it was just a coincidence when it was just her having the Mascara she lost or the perfume but when she was wearing the earrings yesterday and then anklet today she realised it was Sophie stealing from her. The earrings were brought from a shop that only sells one of everything so you have a unique item and her anklet was made by my other daughter in a jewellery making class at school so I know those 2 items aren't something her mum brought her.

I'm at a complete loss on what to do because I am fuming, some of my hard earned money has gone into those thing she had stolen, but my daughter says she wants to stay home until she calms down a bit then just go over and act as if she doesn't know and make sure she isn't leaving expensive/valuable to her things lying around anymore. She doesn't want any trouble so has asked me to not say anything to Mark and James mum about this as I was about to ring her. She says she obviously doesn't want her earrings back as they have been in someone else's ears, but I spent a lot of money on those and they can be sterilised before she wears them again, and she says nothing else was of value to her or she has repurchased.

I don't want to go against my daughter and speak to them anyway but at the same time I don't feel like I can leave this.

What is her relationship like with Sophie?

My sons are the same age as yours and the younger girlfriend is very bithcy towards the older one and it took us almost a year to work out she was jealous of her. She copies a lot of things the older girl wears and even asked her mum to buy her a pair of louboutin heels for Christmas when the older girlfriend had wore some to our Christmas party(for anyone who doesn't know louboutins are usually about £400 min so she really did go all out copying her) It bothered me at first, not sure why, but once I saw that the girlfriend didn't care and was actually flattered by someone copying her I stopped caring so much. She's really turned into a mini older girlfriend now, even the way she talks and stuff. She dyed her mousy blonde hair almost white blonde as that's what the older girl had.

Now I say it all together it sounds a bit Pysco doesn't it. I assure it isn't like that other wise I would probably step in

Anyway, why I told you all that is because maybe she isn't stealing because she's a theif and because she wants to be more like the older girl. I know the mum said she has witnessed her stealing from a shop but that's very different from actually looking through someone's things without much idea what you might find hopefully to find something you want.

Also could you be sneaky and maybe get the younger daughter involved? How old is she? She could message her in Facebook or whatever and just say something along the lines of she saw her out the other day and noticed she had somethings she thought she had lost and was pooing herself thinking of how to tell her sister she had borrowed them and then lost them.

Maybe then it might not look like she is being accused of stealing and you'll still get your stuff back.

unlucky83 Yeah I understand. There always is that chance but with with daughter I highly doubt it. Maybe if it was my son but not my daughter.

ineedanapasap she doesn't really speak to her much. For what I understand she's a bit of a difficult one, she's doesn't eat dinner downstairs with them and when they're not out Sophie and Mark usually are in his room so she doesn't get much chance to talk to her. I did read these replies before she called and brought some of the things you said up which I'll talk about in a second. Wish my mum would buy me a pair of louboutins so I could be more like my sister in law I agree that stealing from a shop is different from looking through someone's things and stealing. My daughter is 16 but the year below Sophie. Sophie has just finished her first year of college whereas my younger daughter has only just left school. So it's not likely that they would've been in the same place for her to notice her having the earrings and we'd have to find out where Sophie has been so we could act as thought we was there too. Good suggestion though.

His mum rang about half an hour ago and I explained what was going on and had told her I did have doubt about calling as my daughter had asked me not to as she doesn't want to cause any trouble. She reassured me that it wouldn't cause trouble and she will get it sorted when she can. She is going away for a week at the end of this week so won't have much time to sort it until she is back but they have locks on all their doors that the previous owners put in so she is getting a key cut so both James and daughter have a key and can lock the door when they aren't home. She will also make it clear to both Mark and Sophie that they aren't to go into James rooms for any reason when they aren't home even if James says it is okay. Apparently Mark uses James desktop computer to play games when he isn't home as his isn't as good.

She also told me a story about when she was a away last year and some money went missing. She always leaves them with a few hundred for things like food, electric and whatever else they may need when she goes away, they are free to a spend it on what they want as long as they have receipts and can account for where the money was spent. Usually they are quite good with the money but last year when she went to see how much was spent and on what there was over £60 that no one knew what it had been spent on. At the time she had no idea Sophie stole things so she never suspected her at all but since finding out she has often thought back and wondered if it was Sophie who had spent it. A few weeks later James and my daughter were going on holiday and James gave my daughter £30 for petrol for the drive to airport and a few hours later it had gone missing. So she knew someone in the house was stealing but she never knew who.

She has told me that unfortunately she came ban Sophie from the house, they are having a lot of problems with her recently and Mark is getting really pissed off so she thinks the relationship will come to an end really soon and banning her will only make him want to see her more. I've told my daughter this but she says she still wants to spend time there.

Should be okay now they are able to lock the door and hopefully after her holiday everything will be sorted.

Did this get sorted out OP?