Do you nag your teens to tidy their rooms?

[Dancergirl]

Ok, so they say to pick your battles but I can never decide what my battles are!

How fussy are you about your teens' rooms? I'm thinking more about mess than dirt. Dd1 (15) is terribly untidy, stuff all over the floor, the usual I suppose. It really bothers me as I'm naturally very tidy.

Do you insist on rooms being reasonably tidy? Or shut the door on it?

Tidy it if it bothers you or just shut the door on it.

I tell them to. There is a minimum standard. Once it's messier than that I make them do it. I have this weird theory that they will get too used to living in a mess. I'm sure that's not true I can't help myself.
Too messy and I get on their case.

It bothers me, I hate having an untidy home.
However, I'm trying to pick my battles so as long as the main bathroom is left habitable I'm willing to shut the door on her bedroom.
Am not tolerant at all of crockery or glasses being left to fester.
Oh and if we have family staying, or she wants a friend to sleep over then she has to clean it. That's non negotiable. I ask about a week before, then remind a couple of days before, then the day before if it's not done I go in with a bin bag. Anything on the floor gets put in the bin bag and in the garage for her to sort out.

I was never an untidy child so really don't understand why anyone would want to live in a midden!

pagwatch what is your minimum standard?? And how do you enforce it? When I ask/nag or whatever I get in a minute/later/tomorrow etc

I just shut the doors. My room was a tip as a teen and weirdly now I am really tidy.

All I ask is that any crockery or glasses are returned to the kitchen and any washing in the basket on the landing.

Bed linen washed weekly.

My mum is an absolute clean freak. A show home is her ideal house. And she nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged constantly. She even nags at us about our own homes now. And ironically we are all a bit messy. Not dirty or bad but not tidy tidy.

Probably no use for you but as a much nagged grown up child. Please don't nag them to death!

My minimum standard is muck not mess.
clothes on the floor, drawers open, stuff just chucked around - not worried.
Dirty cups and plates for days, underwear lying around, dusty and spilt drinks - nope.

My DC do as they are told with things like that. Routinely, averagely rude and disobedient with lots of stuff but if I say 'go and do X' they do it.

No idea how that happened but that's just the way it is.

I hate it, but I just shut DD's door and make the odd comment.

TBF, she doesn't leave food or dirty crockery in there. It is mainly piles of revision paperwork and clothes everywhere. Our lovely cleaner manages to get in once a week to hoover, so it could be worse.

I honestly think the 'just shut the door' thing is fine. I just can't do it. It's my issue.

I shared a bedroom with all my sisters and, to me, the children have unbelievably fabulous rooms compared to what I grew up with.

I have a cleaner come once a week, so the night before all rooms have to be tidy (by tidy, I mean nothing on the floor, surfaces vaguely dustable). So once a week their rooms look okay!! (At least it keeps it hygienic).

I just shut the door on the mess.

The only things I insist on are mugs & plates brought down to the kitchen every day, bins emptied once a week, dirty clothes put into the laundry basket and bed linen changed every couple of weeks.

If all that's done, that's fine by me. Their rooms get dusted and hoovered occasionally, but I'm not obsessive about it.

As for how I enforce it, I just politely ask them to do it & they do. They are well trained

I don't say a word now. He's mostly ok but sometimes lets things slip. I go in and remove his xboxs and android box. Its up to him then when he gets them back.

I do and he doesn't.

He's lazy like his mum!

And yes, his room is fabulous compared to mine as a kid. He has a sofa in his bedroom ffs! That's beyond my wildest dreams. (His sofa is covered with socks, books and wires)

I see all our rooms as our own place so I try not to go into any of my children's rooms and if they're messy then that is their problems to deal with. I don't like cups and plates left in rooms as that effects every one when there aren't any left for us to use. All my kids do their own washing too so if they have no clean clothes and a dirty rooms then they only have themselves to blame. All I ask is for the rooms everyone uses to be kept clean.

1stworldproblems

all my kids to their own washing

wow - how old are they? need to start mine doing this ASAP wonders why I haven't thought of this one already

I want to just shut the door.

But Ds1 and 2 (17 and 13) are actual pigs.
They know they are responsible for organising their football kit/school uniform and they have to wash it.

But when I can't see the floor, or run out of cups/glasses/plates because they are all in their room, or the floor is literally covered in little black balls of rubber (from the 4g football pitch) i nag and shout and nag until it's some sort of version of clean.
Repeat until they move out

I have learned that the more I nag the less likely she is to tidy up.
In fact since I found a pair of bloodstained knickers on the floor and naively put them to soak in some cold water, I am BANNED from the room.

I never thought I'd be able to do this - praise my child as a 'model child' if even in just one area.

I don't even know what has happened...my DS 15 cleans his room roughly weekly/forthnightly. 'Cleaning' means hoovering, changing bed sheets, bringing dirty laundry, tidying surfaces, emptying bins, recycling waste and sometimes dusting/wiping surfaces. This week he even went behind his bed/lifted up his mattress. He says he doesn't like to have it messy.

I haven't even asked him to do this, he just started doing it a few months back.

I say this with pride, because we have been through hell with him rebelling and being a wild child getting into all sorts of trouble.

The magic formula to the great transformation of both tidiness and for calming rebellion, has been to back off