Depressed that DD 16 never helps at home

[RummidgeGeneral]

My DD is generally a good kid. She works hard at school. She doesn't give me much grief apart from that she doesn't lift a finger to help with any domestic stuff. Her focus is her friends. She goes out a lot and basically comes back for meals and then either disappears up to her room or goes out. I just want her to notice how much effort it takes to run a house. I talk to her about wanting her to take more of a share but it doesn't make a blind bit of difference to everyday life except she will tackle her gruesome bedroom when forced. Please, will it get better as she gets older in your experience. I am becoming so resentful and shouty.

Honestly, this situation is your own fault. All her life YOU have LET HER behave like this with no consequences, so of course she's not going to help because she knows she'll get away with it.

You need to make changes. Split the chores. No chores no cash no wifi no meals prepared for you. She'll soon buck up her ideas.

Stop letting her treat you like a servant.

She's working hard at school, at 16 that is the priority. Mine did precious little to help on a day to day basis but had weekly jobs that he had to do that took less time - bin emptying or daily ones that were short like feeding the cat, emptying the litter tray and stuff like that. I scale down the jobs at exam time, the rest of the time he helps when he's not revising.
It could be worse.

Just out of interest. If you are not a single parent how much shitwork does your partner do ?

Glad to see that things have improved op and hopefully you will have been cheered by seeing the comments saying that being selfish and inherently lazy is just normal for teenagers. Honestly, they are never going to wake up one morning and think "Gosh, running a house takes a lot of work, how can I contribute?". I have a few non-negotiable jobs for my teens. And they really are non-negotiable! So I will follow said teen around the house asking nicely, until the non-negotiable job has been done.

One thing I make all the family do is sort their own laundry out. I put it in the machine and usually hang it out (only work part time) but am darned if I'm going to be rummaging through everyone's laundry basket looking for the black socks or white school shirts or whatever.