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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Anyone else's preteen unnecessarily anxious?

3 replies

anxmum · 16/01/2007 13:19

OK, here's the background. Last summer my son (13, but 12 then) had a sleepover at his friend's. several months later, he was very upset and after a lot of cajoling he told me that this friend had touched him on his willy and I think he may also have touched his friend.

He was really upset because for all that time he'd been worried that he's gay.

He's def. not at all gay, not that I would mind if he was. The problem is that ever since that incident, he keeps telling me he thinks he's weird, and that he keeps wondering about sex.

I've been trying to reassure him, telling him that everyone's curious about sex at that age, he didn't do anything wrong, and I'm just a bit sad that his first even vaguely sexual experience was so upsetting to him.

No matter what I say, though, he just can't seem to get it out of his head, and now every night at tucking up time he says he's worried that he's "weird" (he doesn't say gay, I don't think he seriously thinks he is gay).

Has anyone else had this sort of situation? My reassurance just doesn't seem to be helping. I'd be reluctant to get a referral to counselling as I think that would just reinforce his image of himself as being abnormal.

OP posts:
winterpimms · 16/01/2007 21:53

Anxmum, didn't want this to go unanswered, hope someone comes along with some good advice.

I feel for you as my ds10 is a right little worrier and thinks about things too much.

I think that you sound like a lovely mum and just keep doing what you are doing, reassuring him.

xx

Cazya · 02/02/2007 10:25

Anxmum, it's great that your son is able to confide in you. I'm sure that many boys wouldn't, and would bottle up their worries. I'd recommend a book for teenage boys called 'Living with a Willy' (Nick Fisher), which might be helpful in reassuring your son (£4.99 on Amazon). Not sure it would deal specifically with this, but might help him realise he's not 'weird', because lots of weird feelings and happenings are experienced by boys of this age.

mumblechum · 02/02/2007 11:10

Thanks. I'm off to Amazon now!

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