Unpopular opinion?

[1stworldproblemss]

I posted earlier today about doing my sons girlfriends washing and in the replies a few people said they wouldn't allow the girlfriend to even being staying and found it inappropriate.

All mine and my partners children are between 16 and 19 and as long as I had previously met the person they want to stay I wouldn't hesitate when saying it's fine for them to stay.

Just wondering what other parents opinions are on girl/boyfriends staying as I've always seen it as absolutely fine.

If it's an issue of siblings not wanting to be near to a room where there's a couple sharing, imagine how they must feel about their mum and dad sharing a room

Suburban They like their mum and dad sharing a room as long as they don't think of details. It makes them feel secure. It's another issue really in my opinion.

If they're able to ignore the fact that their parents are sexually active, surely they can extend the same courtesy to any other adult couple staying in the house? Would they object to an aunt and uncle sharing a room?

kinddogtails Maybe they need to be at home because it is their home to? ou have to accept that your children are growing up, doesn't mean they need to move out!

Pregnancy could happen whether they're sleeping over or not aswell. I would do why any responsible parent should do and educate them on sex and the risks and protection they can get before they got to the pointof having sexual relationships then I would go over this again when they begin a sexual relationship. I would also make sure my children had the appropriate protection before allowing sleepovers.

But I would allow sleepovers as long as the girlfriend or boyfriends parents are okay with it too.

As for everyone else in the house, I would not want to put anyone in a situation they are uncomfortable with but at the same time I would not say no to one child because the other didn't like it. They're in separate rooms and they would be okay with any other adult sharing rooms/beds so they just have to suck it up and deal with their siblings doing so.

It's a totally different situation when you live in a good sized house with 5 bedrooms and several bathrooms though isn't it?

Well if you're talking 7 people living in a 3 bed house then yes different situation. But say 4, maybe 5, people living in a 3 bed house, no not different at all. Although her house is 5 beds she has 7 people living there and then even more when friends and girlfriend and boyfriends stay over too. That is pretty hectic.

I don't and didn't have any problem with this sort of stuff, the only problem I see in retrospect is trying to get our adult children to move out, having made living at home so tremendously comfortable.

When I was young, I had to be home at ten, unless I had special permission, cook, clean, etc. etc. and I moved out before I was seventeen. With my dd I was easy with everything and here we are with her over thirty still happy to live at home. I should have been a more repressive fucker.

I have a few years before I have to make these decisions, ds is still a baby.

However, the "my house my rules" attitude of my PIL and the "it's our family home" attitude of my DP resulted in a much better relationship with one set of parents over the other (PIL's attitude is a symptom of wider controlling issues but if you think "mine" rather than "ours" I'd assume you were a bit egocentric - and of course parents pay the bills).

This is absolutely fine! If my son or my daughter had their partner stay over, I would be glad to have them in my house and I wouldn't mind taking care of them as if they were my own kids. If they make my kid happy and my kid cared about them and truly loved them, then I would love them as well!

If their parents are fine with it then I'm fine with it 🙂

For starters they are too old to be having "sleepovers" like little girls

Don't little boys have sleepovers then?

OP, I read your other thread, I hope I'm as nice and balanced as you when ds is a bit older

My 15 yr olds boyfriend stays here 3 or 4 nights a week and it's worked out fine. The first couple of nights it was a little strange waking up to the two of them at the breakfast table in their pj's but now I don't think twice about it. So far I have not let my 13 yr old's boyfriend stay over and hopefully that won't happen for a couple years.

I won't allow sleepovers for my 15-yo dd and her lovely boyfriend of the same age. It's not the sex, it's the "adult" nature and the emotional intimacy of sleepovers that concern me. Cuddling all night long and waking up sweaty and stinky next to another person sounds too close to "setting up house" for my comfort.

They are teens, they are just starting to explore who they are and what they like. I see no need to help them develop even deeper commitment to each other since something like 99% of teen relationships end in break ups. And seriously, who in this day and age would want their kids to have ever experienced just one relationship! I want both my daughter and her lovely boyfriend to travel, meet people, accomplish goals, etc. YOLO.

As far as sex, I see it as her right to enjoy her own body. I made sure that she has all the information about safe sex, has access to and knows how to use condoms, knows that there's recourse even if she made a mistake, etc. And importantly, to choose her partners carefully. We are not religious.

When she is ready to consider marriage, should the right person come along, is when I will allow sleepovers at my house. I realize that she can have sleepovers, if she wants, as soon as she goes away to university.

Jennyf68 Tue 24-May-16 01:17:31

"whilst I'm paying all the bills it is my house."

I always wonder about this expression. Does it mean that if you became unable to contribute financially- lost your job or became incapacitated- your partner would make all the decisions because he paid the bills?