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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Mean friends

5 replies

cesca2206 · 14/05/2016 10:03

My 14 year old daughter frequently gets upset by texts etc. that she receives from her school friends - generally they rub along quite well but sometimes they seem quite mean to her. One in particular she regards as her best friend.

I tell her not to reply as it adds fuel to the fire but she is convinced that if she does not respond it will only make matters worse. Usually these episodes blow over but I do not like it and have told her I will take her phone of her - for a limited period.

What is the best way to deal with this please, ignore texts or respond ?

OP posts:
JinRamen · 14/05/2016 10:16

If she feels that she must reply, depending on the text itself can she have a few standard responses then hopefully they will see she no longer rises to the bait and will get bored?

Original poster
cesca2206 · 14/05/2016 12:05

thanks for that - I see what you mean and will have a word with her - something that gives a response without being inflammatory. I will talk it through with her.

OP posts:
NotEnoughTime · 14/05/2016 15:19

I do feel sorry for todays teenagers -all the 24/7 social media-some people being really nasty and then hiding behind their phones/computers etc.

It's a bloody minefield Sad Angry

alaspoorderek · 20/05/2016 19:05

HI Cesca, your poor DD, it is horrible for teens, esp if they're sensitive ones, I agree with NotEnough and echo Jin's response . If she feels she needs to respond then try and think of the most boring and blankets responses possible to stop them in their tracks, hopefully, if they are being mean.

Here is an imagined example:-

Hi CescaDD, katy said today that she didn't like the way you had your hair, it looked horrible

Then, instead of showing any sign of upset or furthering the conversation by asking what Katy though was wrong with it she replies 'fine, her opinion' or just 'fine', nothing with a question mark like 'really?' or 'why' which would invite another text. Thereby she breaks the endless cycle of texts and the 'friend' gets bored. Wish you both luck.

JustDanceAddict · 21/05/2016 10:05

Don't let her ride to the bait! I had similar chat to DD last weekend about the same thing - she was winding a girl up in their group (they don't really like each other), but it was pissing off others. I said to DD it wasn't worth it & to 'kill with kindness'.

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