proud mother of teen

[Tortington]

so ds2 (13, 14 in march) had a GF for about 3 weeks.
smitten with each other they were
she walked miles to call for him so they could walk to school. Suddenly its all off. this was a few weeks ago.

having a chat with him this evening alone in kitchen ( where i do all my 'nonchalant' chats) he reveals he dumped her becuase "she's done it"

how fabs that. i think most boys would want to have a go. but my boy thinks shes a dirty tramp. good lad.

thought i would impart that to the mumsnet massive

My son has just been looking over my shoulder and is disgusted by the idea of anyone his age having sex.

Long may it continue!

i like you suzy!

Fair Play to him for not wanting be sexually active

However, he thinks she is a dirty tramp - poor girl! She made have made one mistake and is not being lablled

Custy- I do think it is fab - but I might have mentioned in my chat that perhaps Dirty Tramp was not appropriate term for a girl.
Was she trying ot force him tohave sex with her? Did he hear it from her that she was sexually active/

aim to please

Actually custy hasn't said what age the girl is. She may be 16 .

I do think it's fab that he has backed away from a relationship where the question of sex has already reared its head. He could have just gone along with it and "done it" because of peer pressure/not wanting to be thought a wimp (or gay!), etc.

However, I do also think that to consider a girl who has had sex as something unsavoury (I know you said dirty tramp was your phrase, but it implied that he was of the same mind) is rather sad.

Also, how did he find out? Did she tell him? Did one of his mates brag about it?

Most girls tend to go out with slightly older boys, so she might only be 12!
I'm quite happy that a child of either sex who is sexually active at 13 should be regarded as 'dirty' by his or her peers. Might encourage more of them to wait till a more appropriate age.
I have reminded my ds1 that the age of consent in this country is 16. It's illegal to have sex earlier than that.
Anyone 'mature' enough to have sex earlier should also be mature enough to abstain on the basis that the law is there to protect those more vulnerable than themselves.
But teenagers' brains don't work like that, do they?

Well done, custy ds2.

hmmm, good for him that he doesn't want sex and is willing to end the relationship rather than do it because he feels he should BUT i doubt he stops being friends with his male friends who've had sex does he? i'm sure he sits there grinning and laughing as they tell of their exploits.

why did he have to dump her? why not just not have sex with her and have a normal teenage relationship rather than tossing her aside like damaged goods

and i hope to god he is actually sure she has and not taking the word of one of his mates who's said something like 'i've done her i have'or 'she's well up for it, she shagged xx behind the bikeshed'

Very few 12 and 13 year old boys are physically capable of having sex.

I think it is great that he will talk to you about it.

Flippin heck! Where has freakin childhood innocence dissapeared to, anybody seen it about? I didn't even know what an orgasm actually meant until I was 16/17 - no joke. And i'll only be 20 in may, sorry but the thought of a 13 year old having sex makes me feel physically sick. No CHILD is physically or mentally capable of understanding it at that age. This coming from someone who was a teenager not that long ago, and am also studying childhood studies at uni it turns my stomach. I'm pg with my first child (girl) and if i do any job of brining her up right then she wont be having sex at such a young age. It's wrong, and it's not me being old fashioned, im too young to be old fashioned!
I slept with someone for the first time when i was 15, nearly 16 and i didn't have a clue! Not only that but i wasn't emotionally ready for it, i knew it then and i certainly know it now. There thinking of putting the age of consent for sex up to 18 anyway, i think it's a brilliant idea.

Well done custy ds2. A young man who knows his mind. Peer pressure is a formidable force and to stand against that is very noble. But even more noble is a young man who can talk about sexual relationships and values with his mum. You must be very close, and rightly proud.

Lwatkins - hope more young mums have that attitude, too!
I'm 45 so when I say things like 'I'm not a prude, but...' I always think the 20 somethings must think 'Yeah, right!' But I was a teen in the days before AIDS - our sex ed didn't even run to Chlamydia and Herpes - no one knew about those then. The worst we had to fear was Syphilis and 'The clap' - both of which were easily treated with antibiotics.
So we happily went out and had half a dozen or a dozen sexual partners before settling down - though I do have a few friends who have only ever had sex with the man they went on to marry... sweet! I lost my virginity at 17 - most of my friends about the same. There was one who was only 14 but believe it or not she and the boy are still happily married!
We all have a long time to be an adult, so I can't begin to understand why so many people seem to encourage adult dress and behaviour in pre-teens.
I've had people tell me that ds1 doesn't seem very 'Streetwise'. No - he isn't. But I don't want him hanging round street corners with an aerosol and getting drunk at parties like their 13 year olds, thank you very much. (He has alcohol at home, sometimes, by the way.)