Helping 13 year old dealing with text

[elephantpoo]

Hi, my DD (13) had a text message on Tuesday from her friend's mobile that read something like this;

Hello "dd" this is "friends" mum. I am very sorry to tell you this, but "friend" committed suicide at 4.25pm today (3rd of May 2016) Please don't tell anybody but feel free to ask any questions. Please let me know you got this message.

I was with DD when she got the message and understandably DD was devasted, sobbing uncontrollably. After the initial sobbing I attempted to call the number to speak to friend's mum (bad signal) and after initially being answered we got cut off, but a text pinged through that it was a prank!
I don't know how to help DD through this. She is not an emotional girl, prone to crying, but she has broken down a couple of times since and it's just heartbreaking to see. She's also not sleeping so well........
Any input gratefully received :)

Have you established what happened? Id be worried that it was the friend doing it as a cry for help.
If it was genuinely a prank then I think it's a horrible lesson in life for your dd about how some people play sick jokes :(

Hmmmm,I'd be on to the school tbh, ds's school takes that kind of thing very seriously.

I would go round and check she's ok and not in danger - and I'd talk to her parents to let them know so they could keep her safe.

And I'd contact the school if they know each other from there.

For me (I work in schools and for Social Services) it's clearly a safe guarding issue if I became aware of it.

That is absolutely vile and cruel. I wouldn't always advocate intervention but I think you really need to approach the girl's parents.

Oh I've just seen its 2 days later

I'd be talking and listening to why she's upset as it will have brought up thoughts of death or self harm for her, issues about her friendship etc.

Poor thing

Thanks all.
It was definitely a prank....."friend" has been very apologetic since. She was adamant we shouldn't tell her mum (which rang distant alarm bells re cry for help) but I felt I should, and now have.
Very tough lesson for DD, but she seems a little more positive tonight.
No tears today :)

I think you did the right thing telling her mum. Anyone who does something like this as a 'prank' has issues. I'd be encouraging other friendships and discouraging this one.

A little update - I have heard from friend's mum, and friend is having issues (not sure what) so feeling very relieved that I told her and even more relieved that she seems a very "switched on" mum and she's going to be having a chat with her DD over the weekend.
Thanks again for your help / kindness :)

Ah, I hope the girl gets the support she needs. You did the right thing.

That's not fucking funny. At all.

Don't care how immature the friend is who sent it, it's not funny or amusing.

Could you contact this friends parents to show them the text?

I hope DD is ok soon, must have been a terrible shock.

Oh sorry! Didn't read all thread.

Yes, understandably your daughter was upset.

Many years ago someone left a message on my answerphone that someone's 11 year old child had died in a freak accident. I had met the woman once, but never her child. I vomited in the bathroom I was so distressed.

I told the person that she should NEVER have left an answerphone message, she needed to speak to me personally about such a tragic accident.

So, I really get your daughter's response.

You did the right thing.

(Sorry if I didn't make it clear, I rang the woman who told me, who was NOT the woman whose son had so tragically died. The colleague was trying to do the right thing to stop people ringing the grieved parent who were unaware of what had happened, but it was just horrific getting a cold answerphone msg. So I can totally imagine the same reaction with a text).

Obviously this is a sick thing to do, and a very weird prank.
I think you should establish why she did it in the first place, and then perhaps get her to talk to your daughter... But this is a difficult scenario, just make sure she knows your there for her... And that her friend is alright.