Ex husband throwing party for our 16 yr old daughter

[Mikesmama]

Just separated from my husband, 18 yr old son lives mainly with him and 15 yr old daughter mainly with me. My ex is holding a huge party for her 16th involving all the kids chipping in money for booze, food etx (mainly booze I imagine). He isnt speaking to me so I can only find out what's planned from the kids. A load of the 18 year old's friends are going as well and they all drink and smoke loads of weed. I feel I have no say in this but I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT MY SIXTEEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER GOING TO THIS!! She is all excited about this amazing party which is incidentally totally unlike the things her friends did for their sixteenth ( meal out, small party for a few girls in the house etc). I have no control over this and I dont like the sound of it, it's not what I want for my daughter. Can I put a lid on this somehow without my daughter hating me??

Does anyone know if the Dad buying all this alcohol for underage children to drink in his house is legal?
I'm concerned for the others as well as your DD, they won't all have told their mums. At a 16th birthday, there will be other kids there who are at least 15, some of whom may be completely immature or sheltered and end up doing something seriously stupid.

And if he won't be there, what's to stop you and some other mums and dads turning up with 'surprise' eats, to make the party even better?

It's not illegal to give alcohol to a child (over 5 I think). But it is illegal to buy it for them, and by charging them £10 for it, that is very clearly what he's doing. Not sure what reaction you'd get from the police though if you tried to involve them, nor whether there OP would want to, as that could strain her relationship with her DD and her ex even further

Not trying to derail the thread but went others drinking at 16? The £10 a head is to cover booze doesn't mean they have to drink ten quids worth. What sort of person is your dd op? Again she could be doing this anyway atleast she is with family and she is where you know...
If he's back at 10 it honestly doesn't sound too bad.

Not trying to derail the thread but went others drinking at 16? The £10 a head is to cover booze doesn't mean they have to drink ten quids worth. What sort of person is your dd op? Again she could be doing this anyway atleast she is with family and she is where you know...
If he's back at 10 it honestly doesn't sound too bad.

I am totally with bevelino on this. I would not allow my DD15 to a party of this kind. So far, I have somehow managed to keep her away from these gatherings and I do not think she has missed out on much. In some households, the parents still have a say on what their children are doing even at the grand age of 16 or even 18!

I agree Bluelilies and it is all she can do.
I think that you are missing the point Socialaddict in that it is not just a party. It is a party that her father is throwing for her and as he is her parent there is not much she can do. She certainly can't forbid it as the DD may well decide to go and live with her father instead. Of course the parents have a say when they are 16yrs - her father has had a say!
It does sound a nightmare and she needs to try and help her manage the risk, warn other parents and be around to pick up the pieces if there are problems.