Charlie Taylor's book 'Divas and Doorslammers' is based on the theory that teenagers' brains actually go through structural changes during puberty, during which they can lose some abilities - empathy, the ability to control their temper etc. Iirc he describes it as almost a form of temporary brain damage - the key word being temporary, because these abilities do largely return once the brain has gone through the changes and settled down again. I'd be more specific about what he said - but I gave my copy away to a friend whose teenager was being difficult.
I had a bad time with ds3 - the older two had their moments, but nothing too dreadful, but ds3 was much harder work (my mum helpfully pointed out I'd had an easy ride with ds1 and ds2, and this was my comeuppance - thanks mum!). We had lots of rows, door slamming, name calling (I got called a cunt more than once) - and there were times that I absolutely despaired.
It did seem as if the worst of his behaviour was directed at me - but in hindsight I wonder if that was because he knew I would still love him, so he could get rid of his frustrations on me. Didn't make it any nicer or easier at the time, though.
He is now 18 (we both survived his adolesence - lol), and his behaviour and attitude have improved beyond recognition. He is, by nature, fiery tempered, but is much better at controlling it now - I can see when he is getting cross, and he makes a real effort not to lose his temper. He is self-motivating with regard to his academic work, and is an affectionate and caring person.
These changes were gradual, but I could see improvements from about the age of 15 or 16. I well remember a couple of days where he tidied his room without being asked, did his homework without being reminded, and gave me an entirely unsolicited hug! We did ask him if he'd robbed a bank, though... 