DS16 refused all revision support

[hardheadedwoman]

Hi

DS did well in his mocks but missed out on getting a couple of his predicted grades. As they are getting nearer last night I offered:

a) to pay for a 3 day revision course over Easter in the subject he found hardest
b) to get all the examiners reports so he can see what they value most highly when marking
c) to show him mind maps etc so he can revise effectively

He is normally a good lad but said point blank he 'doesn't need' any of the above and will revise his own way.

It's such an important time - how can I get him onside? He went to bed in a huff but I said we'd talk again this eve when he is back from his sport

I feel disproportionately annoyed by his unwillingness and am worried he won't get the grades he could.

Any advice much appreciated

I bought a book called 'the lazy students guide to revision' it's a thin book giving good advice on smart studying, I also bought 'the art of being a brilliant teenager', no idea if they worked but in the 2 weeks since reading them, he seems much more motivated.

I expect that they are working quite hard in class with revision. Is the revision class held at the school? Can a friend be persuaded to go with him?

It's a stressful time for him and maybe he's really feeling it. Maybe you could change tack and dangle some carrots instead? Like a couple of tickets to the Reading festival for getting good grades? You sound lovely but he's not responding to what you're offering so perhaps back off.

Exams were made for retaking at my little brother with a PhD says (who failed his maths GCSE 4 times).

Thank you Derek I will definitely try the books - might make him smile!

And whilst mulling it over during the day I cobsidered backing off

Perhaps I've been too bossy

I have promised cash rewards for grades but perhaps I should offer a small incentive for good revision over the next 8 weeks if he gives my suggestions a go

The revision course was being held in a different school - and would've cost a couple of hundred pounds so I was a bit taken aback he didn't even say thanks for the offer!

As long as he did well enough then he has lots of time to get up a grade or two - they were only his mocks and if he wants to pull himself up a a grade or two then, really, it is up to him to motivate himself. I hate being told what to do so I was the kind of teenager who would purposefully not do something I was expected to - very annoying. the more parents pester the less likely the outcome is good.
we were advised that financial incentives for grades was a bad idea but I'm not sure why! we offered my son them for GCSE and he just decided he'd rather go without the money than do the work. so that went well! ha ha
I am having trouble with my 16yr old right now (for different reasons) but the main message I get from him is that he really wants to be left alone to do it/work it out/find it out for himself. Really hard to do though.

My son has also had a 'thank you' gene removed. So don't worry that he isn't saying it. I STILL have to do that thing I did when they were toddlers "say thank you to the nice lady" etc etc. If I pick my 16yr old up from somewhere I have to sit, staring at him ... then give a little cough, still staring ... and he finally says 'oh yeah thanks for picking me up". Sheesh!

Ha ha old that really cheered me up. Lost the thank you gene for sure!

Had the chat. He has agreed he'll use the revision methods. Said he'd use the examiners report if I'd read them and highlight the relevant bits - I tried to keep a straight face! Yeah right!

These times will pass I spose

There's another thread at the moment on this vexed subject.

If they don't want to revise, sadly you can't make them.....

He may genuinely not want to spend three daysin a row revising the same subject. I would have hated that!

His school may have a lot of "compulsory" revision sessions over the Easter holiday. My DD's didn't have any, but most seem to.

Actually he came home with a letter yesterday from school - they are doing revision clubs several days a week which he said he'll go to, which is something