10 year old bullied for bushy eyebrows.

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My Dd is being teased at school for having a 'unibrow', it's not the first time she has become quite upset over it. Today she asked me if she could get her eyebrows done. She is only 10 and I am totally against the idea but hate seeing her so self conscious over this. I make sure I tell her that she is beautiful every day and is normally very self confident. What would you do?

Obviously sorting the bullying is a priority.

But big eyebrows are very much 'in' right now and I've always been really jealous of people with lots of eyebrow, mine are rubbish - you can always take hair away but you can't add it

Even if she is self conscious now she will probably love them in a few years. Show her pictures of Cara Delevigne, Emilia Clarke, Elizabeth Taylor etc to show her how gorgeous fuller eyebrows are (and maybe Pamela Anderson to put her off any DIY brow removal )

Also show her early pictures of Lourdes Leon, (Madonna's daughter) (if she does get something done to her eyebrows) because Lourdes only really had the middle removed but she has lovely eyebrows too.

There is also a video on youtube of Cara Delevigne and Emilia Clarke on, I think, the Graham Norton show talking about how their mother's always told them not to remove too much eyebrow and how glad they are that they listened. They also have an 'eyebrow off' to see who has the biggest, most characterful eyebrows. The video might help her self esteem.

My did had her mono brow waxed when she was 10/11, there hadn't been any bullying or comments but I knew she was self conscious, so we dealt with it before it became an issue

I really sympathise with this as my DD has the same problem although she's a bit older (13). Some kids have been really unkind about it and she's so self conscious :(. I didn't want her to try plucking/shaving them herself so I take her to have them waxed, they look great although I have to tidy them up for her in between appointments as they grow so fast (also top lip).

It's difficult because I'd rather she could accept herself as she is but being a teen (or preteen in your DD's case) is hard enough so I figured if I could help her feel better about herself I would. I did consider following up the bullying with school/their parents but it seems to have stopped and tbh me intervening would only have drawn more attention to her unfortunately. Obviously if your DD's situation is more serious then you might have to. Good luck

Id definitely let my daughter have her eyebrows done at that age if it was something she was conscious of. Rather me take her to a professional than her being desperate enough to have a go herself with tweezers or worse, a razor.

I was picked on (not bullied) for not removing underarm or leg hair. I wasn't allowed to because my mum thought vanity was a weakness. I ended up dry shaving in my bedroom one night, with a used razor I'd nicked from my dad's cabinet. I was just desperate to fit in and to stop the comments.

Help her to properly sort out this thing that's causing her upset. It's really not a huge thing, just a temporary change to her appearance, like a haircut.

My mum was always funny about letting me and sis shave legs etc but has admitted she just didn't understand. She had very little body hair herself and lovely skin. My sis used to swim in competitions and mum wouldn't let her shave above knees at your DD's age but she was tormented for it (just looked like hairy cycling shorts) and just stoped swimming. I plucked DSis's eyebrows and she still says how amazing it was to stop looking like a caveman!

My DD unfortunately has the hairy gene. I would totally let her remove unwanted hair.

So would you let a 12 year old wax their top lip? Or do they still do that bleach stuff?

I've never seen the bleach offered at a salon.

Stop telling her she's beautiful. It just gives the impression that beauty is all-important, and if others are picking on her for her looks then you are probably already losing credibility every time you say this.

Focus on building up her self esteem through responsibility and honest and kind feedback. Spend time with her chatting and sharing interests. But don't tell her it's what's inside that counts either.

There are some books your DD may be interested in -- 'Stand up for Yourself and your Friends - Dealing with Bullies and Bossiness and Finding a Better Way' is one, published by American Girl publishing.

Another is 'Teenage Beauty' by Bobbi Brown. She may not be too interested in that sort of topic right now but at some point it may be a positive for her to see that you can get on with life and look the way you want to as well. 'Teenage Beauty' emphasises making the most of what you've got; no 'makeovers'.

Let her get her brows done, but gradually so the bullies don't notice it. Threading is quick, and cheap.

a ten year old schoolgirl shouldn't be asked to be some trailblazer example for acceptance of facial hair in girls
THIS^^

Books on bullying. Maybe share with the school?

Also I don't want her to think if she isn't happy with her appearance she can just change it

But why?

There is nothing wrong with feeling good about the way you look, about feeling empowered, and dare I say it even a little sophisticated or even competent.

You are sending mixed messages by telling her on the one hand that she is beautiful and on the other telling her it's what's on the inside that counts. Neither message is at all believable and you lose stature in her eyes by taking this approach.

There is nothing more empowering or more confidence-boosting for a young teen or tween girl than knowing her mother has her corner and is willing to help sort out her problems in a practical and matter of fact way that honours the girl's own preferences, without standing on principle or getting on a high horse. You have to meet a young girl where she is, not where you would like her life to be.

I was bullied for my hairy legs, I wish my mum let me shave them. I'm another who hacked at my legs with a razor I found in the bathroom. Let her get them done, her body, her choice.

Really good advice from mathanxiety.
Agree with everything she says.

Let her get them done. Bushy eyebrows are now a thing that is popular amongst teenagers with so many of them trying to grow their eyebrows out. It is popular to have bushy eyebrows in the media and is considered to be very beautiful. Tell her it is something to be embraced.

If she wants it done, I would do it subtly in stages so it isn't immediately noticeable by the bullies, otherwise they'll think they've won. And that will give them them more fuel.

Kids are cruel.
Hope your DD feels better once she gets it done.

If uni brows and lip hair weren't a problem women wouldn't remove them. The world is full of ads featuring women with hair removed strategically. Even if you do not shape your eyebrows, most young women in the UK do.

My dd started doing her eyebrows at a similar age after a comment at school. For young people, eyebrows are a huge deal at the moment and it's better that you help her get them "on fleek" than for her to do it herself.

She might use deodorant and Lipsyl already. Eyebrow tidying and hair removal is the next step. (Concealer for zits and makeup in secondary school if allowed is the step after that)

As a format unibrowed and moustachioed little girl I beg you to let her get it done. I would have been from saved years of inner torment and bullying if my parents had allowed me this done. I've never fully forgiven them and could never understand why they would send me out to the wolves dressed as a little lamb.

She doesn't need tinted/filled in power brows. Just a tidy up.

Maybe show her this lisa Elridge YouTube video of make up through the ages. Notice the Grecian uni brow was deemed very attractive!

www.elleuk.com/beauty/lisa-eldridges-make-up-through-the-ages

I agree with maths.

Bullying should be dealt with in the school?

You need to support your dd. Ask some of her pals over to hang out. Suggest she takes up a new hobby to make friends there too.

Frida Kahlo artist and her paintings - World famous artist

I think bullying occurs in lots of places throughout life
It is how you deal with it that matters

People get bullied for all sorts of reasons; their appearance, how they speak, what they wear, how they talk, what they do, their hobbies, what they eat, all sorts of things big or small...

Some things you can never change

It is unkind to bully

It is horrible to be on the receiving end

Develop great self esteem and revel in your individuality ! (takes time to build this up)

It absolutely is how you deal with it that matters.

Self empowerment can help deal with it. So imo if there is something about your appearance that you are unhappy with, makes you self conscious, holds you back, makes you feel others are 'better' than you, and you are miserable then I say if you think it should be changed there is no need to stick with it to make a point. Nobody is giving out medals for endurance.

Otoh, being kind always and refusing to bully, and sticking up for people who are being bullied will always make a difference.