Bedrooms are a health hazard? When do they start to tidy up for themselves?

[Oddoneout63]

DS18 has fetid pot noodles, crisp packets, entire packs of eaten choc biscuits, stinky underwear & sweet wrappers all dumped on his floor;

DS16 has a variant with smelly orange peel, crisps, energy drink cans, all my dinner plates;

DS13 leaves all his clothes, wet towels, sweet wrappers on his floor.

When oh when do they 'get' that it's unhygienic, dangerous & that if they were in a private or council rent, they'd be thrown out for not keeping their flat clean!

Why do think it's ok to keep it like that, even though I ask until I'm blue in the face for them to just take a bin bag up, fill it, put it out?

How long do I wait before I just clear it all myself (thus teaching them that if you wait long enough, a female will do it).

It sickens me to think they feel it's acceptable. I'm one of 3 sisters and we were messy but not downright filthy dirty & living in squalor. It can't just be a 'boy thang' surely?

Sorry! 😀

My parents told me they had seen the cat take a dead mouse into my room! I never tidied up quicker.

Stealing this!

Glad to know it's not just me. DS1's (17) room is absolutely disgusting - he's a real hoarder on top of being messy. I've banned him from having friends round until it is sorted and told him that if it's not done by weekend I will be going in with bin bags and I won't be careful about what I'm getting rid of. Fingers crossed it works.

When my room got worse than my mum could stand (in my defence I was still in primary school not a teen!) I got home to a totally clear room... as in everything gone just bare furniture! Everything I owned was in black bin bags in my mum's room, she had taken glasses/plates back to the kitchen but everything else rubbish included had been scooped into the bags.

I had to earn the bags back one at a time and I would only get the next bag when I had fully put everything from the last bag away or binned it or put it into a charity bag, mum also made sure that the things I wanted back the most were in the last couple of bags!

It was harsh but it made the point and it was not as if I hadn't had any warning! Also it would depend on your relationship with your boys, they might be too old for it as their sense of privacy will be much greater! At 18 that might just have lead to a massive fight!

I made the point to my DS 17 that his sense of privacy doesn't override my right to not have a trashed room in my house.

He has brought down four binbags of rubbish. Four.

Thanks MNers! The feeling I get is that I'm not the only one!

In their defence, they do actually do their chores (including clearing rooms) if they are reminded several times. I write them on a whiteboard in the kitchen, along with my working hours (they vary) & what they have on that day, before I go to work. That way they know where everyone is, what's for dinner & what I expect them to have done by the end of the day. I'm going to instigate a fine system such that if one of them hasn't done their task(s), they all get fined! That way they have to work as a team!

There is hope! Majorly lost it with DS2 this morning, told him he's longer living in a student house, this is our home and his lack of respect for it is upsetting me! Stormed off to work and was stunned to find a note from him on my return apologising and when I ventured up to his room(for the first time in ages) found he has hoovered, cleared away rubbish and laundry and started putting clean clothes away (previously used the stairs up to his room as a floor robe) Not perfect, and I still wouldn't sleep in there but a huge step in the right direction!

My dd is 16 and her room disgusting. I also have the no eating rule, but it makes no difference, loose crisps in the bedside drawer drive me insane. It's a wonder we don't have mice.

Any idea how you stop them taking food upstairs?

I also have the scummy teenagers. Both were fairly good at keeping their rooms tidy when they were younger.

dd (15) has always had far too much stuff - the small untidinesses build up over time to become a bit overwhelming. Then she has a big all day clearout, with huge piles of clothes going into the wash and black bags full of rubbish. However within a few days it seems to build right up again.

ds (16) used to be much better but in the last year or so his room has also become pit like. Especially with wet towels for some reason. We fixed that by buying everyone their own towels, so he can't just help himself to more and more clean ones from the cupboard.

They both do their own washing, and part of the household deal is that they clean their rooms (plus their share of the rest of the house) so dh and I don't go into their rooms too much really. We mostly go for out of sight, out of mind/pick your battles etc. Plus mean comments when it's really bad tends to lead to a clear up fairly quickly.

Oh and we have hunting cats, so (parts of) dead mice in their rooms isn't that unlikely!

Dd age 12 is the same....I've banned eating upstairs. Got her own laundry hamper for her room. Once a week I go I to her room, make everything into a big pile o the floor and confiscate laptop, hudl, phone until its done.

My sister lost the plot when her DD was a teen and threw the contents of the floor in to the front garden. They lived round the corner from the school and loads of her friends saw this display. I'm not suggesting something quite so dramatic.

Teen DS is quite messy but I make him load the washing machine and he has to hoover his own room. He is not in to fashion at all so he doesn't have a huge amount of clothing. We have a no electronic stuff in bedroom rule so his gaming set up is downstairs which means he spends less time in his pit than most teens and I can see any detritus straight away and complain so no build up.

Tick I would just have minimal food in plus none of the snack things your DD likes.

Theendispie, I have snacks under lock and key, but she buys stuff from outside and sneaks it in

I have a similar scenario with my eldest son who is 17. I don't mind a bit of a mess but I strongly object to food, sticky mugs and mountains of dirty clothes all over the floor. His room is downstairs too so its pong permeates into our living spaces. One bonus is that DS has a weekend job and the piles of crap also contain his wages. I have taken to giving him a three day deadline then cleaning it myself and charging him for my services. My rate is £10 for 45 minutes :-) The first time he decided it was good value but when I told him I was going to do it again he decided he would do it himself. Frankly his effort wasn't as thorough as mine but it was good enough!

Phew,thank goodness it isn't just my two DSS.

Ds1 (18) is the tidiest though. He does his own ironing. He and ds2(15) do bring crockery and rubbish down. I just need to get ds2 to not have the floor covered and to stop putting dirty laundry back in his drawer! Plus both should vacuum.

Leave them alone, eventually they get to a age when they will keep their room tidy as they have friends visiting. Just don't go in there, it is their space, give them that space

How old are your DC squeak?!