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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

16 yr old DS drunk at party

20 replies

wohmum · 31/01/2016 00:58

My DS went out to a party tonight . He's been to a few before and generally has a couple of ciders, and comes home a bit merry (I don't mind and find it quite funny)
I was waitng up for a text to go and collect him when I got a call from his number.
It was basically a female friend of his saying he was pretty drunk and would be staying there ( with a load of others) . She'd given him water and bread and would keep an eye on him.
I said I'd pick him up in the morning and she said she'd make sure he was ready for 9.30 ish.

Do you think I should have gave gone to get him tonight?

OP posts:

DixieNormas · 31/01/2016 01:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CointreauVersial · 31/01/2016 01:04

I would definitely have picked mine up, and it would be the last party he'd go to for a while.

TurnOffTheTv · 31/01/2016 01:07

I would have gone to pick them up.

Kbear · 31/01/2016 01:12

pick up definitely

AgentProvocateur · 31/01/2016 01:14

Yes, I'd have picked up so I could keep an eye on him. Can you collect him now?

HeadfirstForHalos · 31/01/2016 01:14

Pick up.

DanceTheBlues · 31/01/2016 01:15

I may go against the grain here but I would appreciate that a responsible friend answered the phone and told you that he was being looked after. 16 year olds sometimes like to push the boundaries (as much as we don't want them to). Pick him up in the morning and speak to him then about why he decided to get drunk tonight and let him know what will happen if it happens again.

Original poster

wohmum · 31/01/2016 01:28

Thanks for the replies - I do feel bad now at leaving him to the morning. I remember doing similar at his age and would have hated it if my parents came to get me. My DP would have preferred me to get him, but he's in bed fast asleep.
I will have a very strong talk about not taking it to extremes - I'd guess that his hangover will be bad enough to put him off for a while.

OP posts:

rainingsleepingbags · 31/01/2016 08:10

I would probably pick up.

Your DS's friend sounds absolutely lovely

circular · 31/01/2016 09:26

Similar thing happened to DD at 17, didn't usually drink much, had too much at a party and BF and friends were worried. Nobody had our contact details and couldn't unlock her phone. BF sat up with her all night, gave her water, even phoned his own Mum for advice. She offered to come and collect them in the early hours, but he refused.
DD had told us in advance she was staying at party, so we knew nothing till the morning. She said she would have hated it if either parents had come out without her asking.
If you DS had pre-arranged to stay over, you would have known nothing about it too.

Hope your DS not too hungover this morning. Bet he won't do it again having had the embarrassment if a friend having to call his parents.

I think we sometimes forget there are some lovely, responsible teens around that do look out for their friends.

Original poster

wohmum · 31/01/2016 17:04

Just a quick update- I picked him and a friend up this morning about 9.30. He had been sick in a bucket and then slept all night. Gave him a strong talking too about not taking it too far and made him a bacon sandwich. He then lolled about on the sofa and fell asleep for a couple of hours.
Is now tidying his room without complaint , so I reckon he's feeling guilty!

OP posts:

cleo14 · 31/01/2016 19:39

I wouldn't feel bad, whilst it's illegal to drink at 16 (although teenagers do it- so did I) he could legally leave home.

turdfairynomore · 31/01/2016 20:05

My DS is now 18....and has had a few "merry plus" nights in past year or so! While it's not been "good".....as he's had too much, been sick, felt rough etc It's been " good" as he's discovered what he can\cant drink, knows his limits, knows that "eating's cheating" is v v BAD advice plus he knows how glad he's been to have had friends look out for him. He is now often "the sensible one"! (Even for a stranger once who was very "poorly" outside a club! Bouncers were awful to fella-who had noone with him! Thankfully DS heard his fone ring-it was the boy's mum!! So he stayed til she could collect him!! She later found my son on FB-and through him sent me the loveliest message too!!) Also in a daft way it has brought DS and I closer as he appreciates not having a mum who doesn't "lose it" entirely -at least not all the time!! Don't punish him too much OP!! And be kind to yourself too! You and he will know that if (IF!!)it happens again you'd probably be happier to collect him....and those are the terms he goes out accepting??

CointreauVersial · 31/01/2016 21:21

Glad he was OK. I also have a 16yo DS, and like you, I am not going to get too worked up if he has a couple of beers at a party. BUT I do worry that he only has the judgement of a 16yo, and might be persuaded to drink spirits, or have too much, or get himself into trouble in some way.

So he knows he has to be sensible, or the leniency we've shown him so far might be withdrawn. I would have been worried if I couldn't speak to him, and wouldn't necessarily have trusted the word of of friend (presumably also young) that he was fine.

Ahhh....sometimes I wish he was a toddler again - so much easier when I was in control of everything he did!!

ImperialBlether · 31/01/2016 21:24

I think if a friend is concerned enough to call you, you should have gone to fetch him, tbh. I'm glad it worked out well but one of my daughter's friends died from vomiting when drunk and I'd always err on the side of caution.

rogueantimatter · 01/02/2016 10:40

I'd always err on the side of caution too. Teenagers aren't known for having good judgment, especially when there's drink around.

leonardthelemming · 05/02/2016 17:47

Cleo 14, why do you say it's illegal to drink at 16? If it is in a private house then the minimum drinking age is 5, is it not? Or have I got that wrong? So nothing to worry about, I think, and as others have said, he will learn from his mistakes. Nobody ever learns from other people's mistakes, after all.

scarlets · 06/02/2016 13:19

It's one of those things most of us did as teenagers. I reckon you handled it well. The friend sounds fab ... could you match-make them lol?

19lottie82 · 06/02/2016 17:18

It's not illegal to drink at 16.

JustDanceAddict · 06/02/2016 21:15

Def not illegal to drink at 16, just to buy it.

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