Does anyone else think that this is inappropriate?

[QueenofQuirkiness]

Dd14 plays the oboe in her school orchestra, with 3 boys and another girl. There are 2 oboe teachers at the school, one teaches my DD and the other teaches the older girl and one of the boys, the other two do not take lessons. The other girl is 16 years old and in the sixth form, and her and my DD have somewhat of a 'big sister little sister' friendship.
However, what is concerning me is that my DD has told me that this girl is very close with her oboe teacher, close as in she is Instagram and Facebook friends with him, and has his snapchat. DD has seen the girl snapchat selfies to the teacher...the girl also refers to the teacher by his first name and talks about how good and nice he is a lot.
The teacher is a peripatetic teacher and DD thinks he is in his mid 20s, and to top it off DD told me that this teacher helps out with the oboes in the orchestra, and the older girl lay her head on his shoulder for a few seconds when she was complaining about the difficulty of the piece. The older girl seems to think this behaviour is normal, so is this just me and my DD overreacting or does it sound weird to you?
I should add that my DD is reluctant to say anything as she sees this girl as a bit of a role model and wants to keep a friendship with her

I think it's good she knows as it tells her that this isn't acceptable and that you care. Good luck.

Are any of you Teachers ? Or ex teachers who have worked since social media became part of every day life?

I had a similar issue with DSD's school, the PE teacher (female) seemed way too familiar with the pupils, she'd tell them about her boyfriend troubles, I'll mother, friend them on Facebook.

So I checked with my teacher sister and she said that it was not against guidance to be friendly with pupils, and having social media contact with them is not forbidden. She said its perhaps unwise to share too much personal information in case it's used against you but especially with older pupils it is about engaging with them, finding out what interests them and trying to make teaching relevant.

I agree the head on shoulder thing is a bit odd, but if this was in full view then it's not a clandestine moment of intimacy. Just perhaps a misjudgement on the part of a young teacher. And music teachers do tend to be much more friendly, music is a more friendly subject.

As for complaining to the school, be mindful of the impact you may have on that teachers career just because you heard something by hearsay.

As a cas in point, one of the teachers both my kids loved at high school was forced to change school. He had set up a facebook group to share information about a school trip he was running, one girl posted a lot of questions about the trip, and he replied about the trip. Now this was all in public, and all in context, however someone complained he and a pupil were exchanging messages on Facebook and the stigma of the complaint and the fact the council had to investigate drove a very good teacher from his school.

Now this music teacher is not asking the girl to stay after school for extra tuition, and he's not initiating the head on shoulder thing. He may well have been taken aback by the whole thing and didn't know what to do for the best.

But you've jumped to a conclusion. Based on what your daughter has decided to tell you. And why? Is she perhaps a little keen on this teacher and jealous of the older girl? Have you asked her?

That's exactly the kind of attitude that neglects vulnerable children. Making a report does not indicate anything bar that a concern has been raised. The schools job is to determine what if anything needs to happen

Most MUSIC teachers are extra careful - there is a lot of information on this. Because they spend time 1:1 with pupils, and ideally they would be able to "touch" their pupils to correct stance etc. (most do not unless there is a chaperone present).

The teacher is being naive and is probably the one most at risk here, as any accusation could be extremely damaging to their career.

I would mention it to the school, and hope someone has a quiet word.

Just read the OP again, and maybe this schoolfriend might have a crush on the teacher? Sending him selfies, mentionitis, resting her head on his shoulder.

There's no mention at all that he might have initiated any of this. He's in a very difficult position isn't he? It is all definitely inappropriate, but he might not have developed the skills to be able to get things back on a more professional footing.

dodobookends - that's exactly what I think is happening, DD says this girl clearly has a crush on the teacher but my concern is he's allowing her to act on her feelings and do things that aren't appropriate. I have reported the matter but I was sure to say that I do not think any behaviour was initiated by him. I guess it really is out of my hands now and I'll just have to see what happens regarding it. I've told DD that it's not to to try and get either of them in trouble, it's as a matter of safeguarding and I think she's accepted that, but she is glad that it's anonymous.