Depressed 13 year old DD

[pandora987]

My DD 13 is so sad and says she doesn't want to be alive anymore. I am taking her to GP and presumably she'll get a camhs referral, but I'm so worried about her. She is writing down some terrible things about how she feels with phrases like she's a waste of space and can't see the point of going on and how everyone would be better off if she's not alive anymore. She told me the other night that it doesn't matter if she's here or not and she doesn't want to be anywhere anymore. She has an uneasy relationship with her father, but this seems to be better recently. She was seeing a boy at school but this has just ended. She has friends at school and used to enjoy it but now says she hates it. She still does after school sports and some other activities like violin lessons and karate and still enjoys these. She then tells me she's fine and not to worry about her. (like that's going to happen)
Has anyone got any advice? I know GP and Camhs and counsellors are a good starting place , but is this teenage angst or much more. I'm terrified my lovely girl isn't going to make it... All I can do is cry.

We basically got stuck in a circle of her not going out, visits to CAMHS, where at 14 she had the right to say no to any treatment or counselling. She was so low she of course didn't think that this would help and there was nothing up could do. I knew these things would help, but I as her parent had no say.

Then one day we went back and they suddenly told me and her Dad they were putting her on an "at risk" list. We were visited by professionals at home who took the decision to section beer. Again nothing we could do and she was taken off in an ambulance within the hour. Honestly the worst ever day of our lives and one I will never forget.

She then protested at being where she was and refused to eat. We then received phone calls to say if she didn't eat they would restrain her and take her to the hospital and out a feeding tube in. I would point out she was in no way anorexic and was a good weight.

Luckily with some very very emotional phone calls between us we managed to persuade her to eat. Things are still not easy, however she is now allowed home for weekend leave and we have seen an improvement. I just wish upon wish it had never got to this xx

Sorry for spellings errors wrong words, my protective text doesn't like me 😉

Check what she is looking at on her computer. Is any of her friends going through anything traumatic. Check her history on what she looks at, is anyone giving her grief at school. Is she struggling with school-
Check everything on her computer
Get her to talk about what ages achieved, maybe do a collage frame of her happy photos and put it in her eye line in her room.
Possibly change something in her room maybe a new cushion with a positive affirmation my daughter has a cushion with about chasing your dreams.
Get her to talk about future if she wasn't a a big house, if she wants a dog/ cat - what would she call it just small steps.
My daughter has been through this not as bad but she definitely was extremely down and would write her feelings. Un be known to us her friend was very down to the point she did nearly end her life luckily she was ok and was helped heavily by cahms. I would take your dd to a & e if you are concerned for her that she is going to do something drastic. This will also get her seen quicker.
Our dd is a lot better now her anxiety and despair was she felt very over whelmed in lessons and some very negative not very helpful teachers didn't help her which started her off with anxiety and panic attacks.
Like I said she is doing better now but she seems to have calmed more herself and all doesn't seem so crazy around her thoughts.
We check in with her we also have got her doing the art therapy books get her out of her room as she can go in herself we play family games she has lot more excersise more fruit veg. Also have got her to deep breathing.

All the very best for you dd hope this phase passes. MIND we're also very good for me to talk too about it all.
Take care
X

How are things OP? X

Better thanks t875. DD seems happier and is happy to have weekly counselling sessions. Still rude and stroppy but is definitely less down. Thanks all for advice and good luck to every. I'm reading "teenagers" by Robett Parsons - interesting!

Oh that's great news pandora! What sort of things / advise have they given her would be good to know.
I'll have a look at that book too x

My DS was the same, we ot a referral to CAMHS and one year on he is like a different boy, he seen a psychologist (weekly) and psychiatrist (3 monthly) and was on Sertraline for 6 months (before he took himself off them) he is doing really well now.

Thank you it's nice to hear a success story. Interesting user name......t875 I'll post any advice they give her. It's confidential so I won't know much but apparently I get to find out how it's going periodically!

oh i also second that is great to read a success story!!

Good luck for her Pandora, been thinking of you and your dd.
we had a back ward move this week it all went backwards so bad to the point where im massively apprehensive her going to school Monday
we have also realised that she could possibly have an eating disorder, but i have also got her a blood test done (my god she was anxious) but if its hormonal we will know too. x

Has anyone else got any success stories or things that have helped their child? Weve had a situation here where she was looking at a website to help her lose weight called pro anna this is an awful site and have blocked this website on her laptop and she was also looking at other unhelpful sites, so we have had to invoke a complete block and her friend also is going through an eating issue.

my god its hard work at the moment sigh all this crap available for our teens to read is terrible, i just can believe this website hasn't been banned it is very damaging and i hate to think how many teenagers children could be looking at it.

sorry to hear things have gone back for you t875 I have heard of pro anna but not seen it. Its terrifying what they can access on line now...
My DD seems happier and seems to be returning to the more normal stroppy teen (which I can deal with just about) She wants to carry on with counselling and even told me some of the stuff they talked about ! So fingers crossed the last few weeks was blip rather than the start of 8 years of terrible teens multiplied....

As sad as it is this happens to almost all teenagers and people around that age. I know that you're her mother and you will but you shouldn't worry about her too much

Thanks Pandora ill let you know how she goes, we are doing ok for now, back to school tomorrow which im very apprehensive about.
dd is also talking more openly about the eating side too we do clearly have an issue hopefully we will have them get in touch so she can get counselling for this.

Your daughter obviously comes from a caring and supportive family and that will go a long way to helping her. Don't be afraid to go back to the GP if you feel you need more support for her or you, and do keep in touch with the school.

Has she started her periods? We had some real lows six months before DD started hers. Some weeks she'd be her normal self, then suddenly all she wanted was cuddles (never usually wants them), would just sit there crying, wouldn't want to see friends or do anything. The moment her periods started, she became her normal happy self all the time.

Becks4saints story is very sad. We are having teenage angst issues here too. Can't explain why or what is going on as I've not got to the bottom of it but it makes me so very sad that I can't seem to help my daughter feel better.

Thanks tiger Lilly

We seem to have turned a corner. She has blocked a friend as apparently this girl was in such a bad place and was telling my daughter all the time.
We're just checking in with her on and off. She can swing though it's hard at times! Hope we turn a corner for good soon for all of us xx

How's everyone's dd doing this week?
X

Check what she is looking at on her computer. Is any of her friends going through anything traumatic. Check her messages / emails Check her history on what she looks at, is anyone giving her grief at school. Is she struggling with school?
Hope things getter better. I feel what your going through xx