Do you still do things as a family with a teenager?

[tumpymummy]

Bad start to the Christmas holidays! When the kids were younger we used to do a lot of trips/activities in the holidays. We live in a city so there is always plenty going on, but I have always combined this with plenty of downtime, tv time, and friends time so kids get a chance to recharge their batteries. DS has never been enthusiastic about doing things, but always once we go out he then has a good time. My question is when should I stop dragging him out?! He's now 14, when he says he doesn't want to do something do I still insist he does? Today I arranged for us to go ice skating. Could be anytime the kids wanted, not too early so they could have a lie in/relax. Now DS says he doesn't want to go. I really thought ice skating would be one activity that he would be happy to do. I even said he could bring a friend. Hubby says I should leave him and just take DD (who thankfully still wants to go), but I am sad that he wont come. I guess I just have to accept that teenagers don't want to hang out with their parents anymore?!

14-17 no. After that they start sliding back into family life. Living I uni accommodation and eating poor food and putting up with people who are a pain in the bum opens their eyes.

We don't tend to do a huge amount of things out as a family at the moment. More because getting all four of us in the spirit seems to be a bit of a struggle. More often than not that's due to dh not engaging rather than the children though. That's not unrelated to our teenagers though, as he is struggling a bit with his relationship with ds (16).

OP I think the mistake you made was not talking to your ds first, and checking that ice skating was something he still enjoyed and would happily do in a family group. I do get it with a kid who is hard to get out of the house (my ds is generally glued to his computer) but has fun once you are out and about, but it's part of giving them more adult like freedoms. In the longer run I think it pays off to consult them, even if in the shorter run you will be sad to leave him at home more often.

Ds1 used to hate doing anything with us from the age of 14 - 18. He is now 19 and has reverted back to being happy to do stuff with us.

Ds2, 17, used to be fine about doing stuff with us, but in the last 18 months has been embrassed to be seen with us.

However, we do all eat together as a family at least 3 or 4 times per week, and we also go to the cinema together whenever we can - ds2 puts up with that as long as we are paying!

Yes 13y (year 9) Dd still enjoys spending time with me and dh. We often do things at a weekend together or visit family/friends together - helps as our friends have Dds who are good friends of Dd's.

Dd enjoys going to the cinema with dh. I don't go - I'm not into watching films much but am invited.

Dd goes out and sees friends a fair bit too but still wants to spend ime with me and dh, both individually and together.

In short no. Dd wouldn't want to be missing out on anything by spending time with her family. And I wouldn't (couldn't) force her as she would spoil it for everyone else

Sometimes yes but we are more walk round a forest go out for dinner types. DS and I play on our XBoxes together. I know it's not out and about as such but it's a shared serious hobby for us both. All three of us sat around my chair tonight trying to teach DH a game.

Our holiday was in Wales this year and involved walking, beaches and castles.

He plays footie a lot at the park with friends, I used to play so we have had odd kick about together and I taught him how to do a rainbow flick.

DS wouldn't want to go ice skating especially and though I did when young neither would I.