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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

14 and hasn't started periods yet

38 replies

clippityclop · 13/12/2015 22:05

Prompted by another thread on here about early puberty, should I be worried that my daughter hasn't started her periods yet? She's 14 and fit and healthy, pubic and underarm hair all happening along with the odd mood swing.She's slight in build like me, I started when I was 12. Her sister who is taller started a couple of months after her 11th birthday.

OP posts:

bodenbiscuit · 15/12/2015 12:36

I think it's a really good idea to give a present personally. It's not just a bodily function - it's a big change that you have to get used to. Reinforcing that it's a positive thing can only be good IMO.

wol1968 · 15/12/2015 13:07

I remember reading Judy Blume novels in which the heroine got a special cake baked for her on this occasion. Being very matter-of-fact and British about this sort of stuff I found it a rather and embarrassing idea. I wasn't ashamed about periods, just wanted to keep the fact of them to myself.

justgoandgetalife · 19/12/2015 17:24

I so agree with the present giving. Just a nice thing between Mum & daughter - very touching.

In Hindu cultures I believe the family throws a huge party when DD starts periods - new sari, lots of food, prayers for future life etc. In a lot of ways we have kind of lost that way of marking life stages like 'coming if age'- no 'key to the door' or 'fur coat when you turn 21' iyswim.

justgoandgetalife · 19/12/2015 17:25

...coming of age...

Original poster

clippityclop · 19/12/2015 18:42

Thanks justgo. no fuss, 'thing' or even religious intent at all just grateful for our girls and like to quietly celebrate the milestones between ourselves.

OP posts:

ifonly4 · 21/12/2015 10:41

My DD has two friends that she knows of who haven't started their periods - they are both 14. I think the time to start worrying is if they get to 16.

Regarding weight, my DD started her periods at 13. She was just under 6st then, shouldn't think she's much more now - just underweight as she hasn't got a massive appetite, eats quite a lot of fruit and veg and hasn't got a sweet tooth.

We didn't do presents for period, but I've seen on here that someone was taking DD out for a family meal to celebrate. If that's what the family wants to do, let them, they're not doing any harm.

raisin3cookies · 21/12/2015 10:55

My DD was 12 and living in Spain on exchange when she started; I was 12 as well so it was expected. When she came home we got her ears pierced as a way of saying she's getting older and able to look after herself more independently now.

I kept it a secret from my mother for a couple of months but DD was completely blasé about it. No fuss from me either apart from our girlie shopping day and ears pierced when she got home. I plan to do the same with my younger girls.

Booking · 21/12/2015 12:55

Oh FGS, a present is a lovely idea and in my Mother's culture, is a mark into the start adulthood! It's nothing to be funny about, it's a special time. It's not as if OP is throwing a street party which is mandatory in lots of cultures

I started my periods aged 10, my poor Mum was 8. I think ethnicity and physical structure has a big part to play, from what I've researched myself.

My Aunty didn't start her period until she was 16, and that was normal too.

JustDanceAddict · 21/12/2015 15:42

Still normal range. DD started at 13 and a few weeks. I knew it was imminent from her body changes and massive growth spurt!!

Mince314 · 21/12/2015 15:46

Booking, my daughter started much younger than I was and I'm worried that that has shut the door on her growth. She got her period at 11 I think she's finished growing now at only 5'1" even though if I average her our heights and minus 2.5 inches that comes to five foot four and a half. So it seems to me that if a girl gets her period too young it can mean she is shorter than expected

girlguide123 · 22/12/2015 17:17

my daughter was 15 when she started and tall and very slim. I was the same build as her when I was young & started at 14. I'm sure your daughter is completely normal.

I think the earrings are a very sweet idea & rather wish I'd done something similar when my girls were that age.

(I also think some of the other comments were slightly rude about the gift, and admire you for rising above them...)

Original poster

clippityclop · 22/12/2015 20:06

Thank you ladies, so reassuring and interesting to read other people's experiences. Mince dd 11 is slim and approx 5'3". Dd 14 is slim and 5'. It'll be interesting to see when they stop growing and if the older one shoots up a bit more. Glad some of you like the gift idea, again nothing OTT just nice to mark the milestones. They're only young once.

OP posts:

80sMum · 22/12/2015 20:17

When DD hadn't started by age 15y9m, she had an ultrasound scan (to check that pelvic organs were healthy) and then a bone scan to determine bone age. Apparently, bone age is a very clear indicator of the age that your body "thinks" it is. The scan said she was 12y2m. She started her periods 3 months later, just before her 16th birthday (but at age 12.5 according to the scan).

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