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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DRUGS and the devastation it has caused!

22 replies

smileyforest · 08/12/2015 13:13

My youngest son was a bright 14yr old, a bit quirky and sensitive but he was happy and we were. Roll on three years and my son is now mentally ill. Can't go to college, few friends he had have deserted him.....Why? Drugs....have taken his mind. As parents (divorced) we spoke to him about the dangers, he was very anti-drugs and smoking. But he wanted to 'fit' in, peer pressure and he was finding the transition from boy to teen difficult.(he is undiagnosed aspergers).
So 'it' got hold of him, then he had a couple of weeks of doing other stuff during the Summer Holidays. His brain is 'fried' especially as his is wired slightly differently anyway.
Of course when I had my suspicions, I tried everything, his older brother was doing it too, restricted money, everything, but it wont stop them!
Now its devastating to see my child,curled in a ball, in bed, lost weight, short term memory loss, not washing, same clothes to bed as daytime. Its horrendous!
I dont like public speaking, but I would stand up in front of a whole School and give my thoughts on drug use and the damage it can cause!
Of course we love our children unconditionally, but 'heartbroken' I am. Dont know the prognosis. He isnt engaging with CAMHS, so I think they will close the case and wait for a crisis...that will be frightening.
I feel isolated, alone, and heading for a breakdown myself (trying hard not to).Have a good partner and my other children are fine.
Just not sure how to be 'jolly' this Christmas.
Has anyone gone through this and come out the other side? Please give me 'HOPE' x

OP posts:

lljkk · 08/12/2015 13:50

So where does he get the money?

SoWhite · 08/12/2015 13:51

Which drug(s) specifically?

sooperdooper · 08/12/2015 13:52

What drugs has he been doing?

BabyGanoush · 08/12/2015 13:54

Poor you how awful, what a nightmare.

What does doctor/GP say?

Are his brother and him off drugs now? Can his older brother help him?

Thundercrackers · 08/12/2015 13:55

How awful. I cannot offer any advice but I hope you find some solace and that one day, your family can find some light at the end of this dreadful tunnel. Do you have people in rl that can support you?

Original poster

smileyforest · 08/12/2015 15:03

cannabis and then tried cocaine....He spent his college travel bursary..(which shd have gone to different account) and yes £10 a week for jobs that he did....

OP posts:

Original poster

smileyforest · 08/12/2015 15:04

yes off drugs....

OP posts:

BabyGanoush · 08/12/2015 16:17

How does he get on with his older brother?

At that age peers and siblings get listened to more than parents

P1nkP0ppy · 08/12/2015 16:28

How sad op, won't he engage with anyone at all? You say his older brother was using drugs too, has he stopped? Could he persuade him to see the GP or CAMHS?

I try to support a work colleague who's DS did the same and was eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia and she did eventually get some help, but it was a battle because he has to engage.

We3KingyOfOblomovAre · 08/12/2015 16:33

This is very worrying. But drugs don't necessarily have this effect. I know plenty of people who have taken both of the drugs you mention, and don't seem to have been affected adversely.

How much was being taken? Must have been a lot over a long period.
Plus, with ASD the Brain is wired differently, so he was particularly susceptible to this. Was he very anxious before? Anxiety is classic in AS.

Original poster

smileyforest · 08/12/2015 17:36

Yes anxiety, but it has happened....
Is under Psychiatrists. He is having a Psychotic episode I'm told. Maybe it was something worse? I dont know. Been like it 6 weeks now.
Drugs do damage...

OP posts:

sooperdooper · 08/12/2015 19:51

Has all this happened since last summer holidays?

If he's having a psychotic episode he really should be in hospital - who diagnosed that?

Original poster

smileyforest · 08/12/2015 21:34

He isn't sectionable, and refuses to take meds.
Psychiatric Nurse thinks he is having psychotic episode....at times I 'see' my son. This eve a nightmare

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claraschu · 08/12/2015 23:09

My friends' daughter smoked too much pot (and maybe something else), and ended up sectioned, very ill with paranoia. One of her parents is a doctor and both parents are fantastic: stable, loving, kind and firm. Their daughter was in hospital twice over about a three year period, but is now out and doing very well, with a great job as a TA for children with additional needs. It has been a long process, but she is really ok now, apparently completely recovered.

claraschu · 08/12/2015 23:11

Sorry, I meant to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. It is heartbreaking. I wish you all the strength and good luck in the world.

Clare1971 · 10/12/2015 22:23

How long has he been off the drugs do you think? I have known young people (through my work) who have had psychotic periods after smoking cannabis. It is terrifying, horrible and, like you, makes me very angry at the 'cannabis is harmless' brigade. However, I have seen these young people make great recoveries once they are off the drug (though not all do I'm afraid). It can take several weeks and the sad thing is, they often don't remember how they were during the psychosis and don't believe it was caused by the drugs so start using again. Keep a diary, where you write down exactly what he is like each day - it might be useful to show him this when he recovers. If he's not sectionable would he agree to being a voluntary patient? Having said that, if you don't think he is a danger to himself or others he may be better off recovering at home. If he doesn't improve, especially if he's not eating, keep on at CAMHS. As awful as it is, there is a good chance the psychosis will lift. Then the real work will need to begin.

Original poster

smileyforest · 10/12/2015 23:14

Thks Clare. Yes I'm keeping a daily journal. The terrifying thing that I found out was that he experimented with other drugs as well over couple of weeks, I honestly didn't know . He was showing signs of stress beforehand and did ask for help which I got for him . We then had a bad weekend where he smashed his bedroom up, that was the start. Problem I'm having is that he won't 'engage' with anyone. He thinks he is OK. He has began to eat more, not meals but fruit and chocolate foods, some bread, its better than nothing and drinking water. That is one of my fears ....if he ??? Does recover....will he try it again....??? I hope not....and yes he will have the journal to read .....

OP posts:

Original poster

smileyforest · 10/12/2015 23:15

Been off the drugs for at least 8 weeks now

OP posts:

lazymum99 · 11/12/2015 13:19

havent got time to post fully but been thru similes with my son. Regards not going back on the drugs it is very important that any underlying issues which may have provoked the drug taking are dealt with. Our son went back on drugs after one accidental overdose and 2 manic/psychotic episodes. It was a very difficult 5/6 years. We used a private psychiatrist but still there were times where she said that no point in him seeing her as he is not engaging.

He discharged himself twice from inpatient care.

After him continuously refusing rehab we had to throw him out. It was horrendous.nhe had actually got off a plane at Heathrow when we had tried to get him to rehab in the USA.

He couldn't cope at all out of his home. Eventually agreed to go to rehab in Spain and was there for over 3 months. That was 18 months ago. It is still a struggle. He sees a psychiatrist and therapist but can not manage independently. Pm me if you would like.

Original poster

smileyforest · 11/12/2015 19:01

Lazy , yes issues need to be addressed. I'm sure its because he has Aspergers like his Dad and and at 14years it become more apparent to him , so to try and fit in with the crowds socially, the drugs started. He sleeps most of day , up until 3pm. He did smoke as well. All stopped. I wish I could send him to a clinic and not end up being sectioned, which will happen if he dosent engage with outreach team. The early intervention psychosis Team are visiting next week. He wears a hat, not had hair cut for weeks. Doesn't wash or change clothes. It truly is heartbreaking and I'm trying to be jolly for the festive season. I miss him terribly, I don't know if he will recover.

OP posts:

Original poster

smileyforest · 13/12/2015 22:38

My son went to a family party tonight. He managed half an hour, spoke to people, and you know, early Christmas present for me as its a small breakthrough....He spoke to a friend on snapchat too....Small steps....My son is there, but locked in his mental turmoil.... I'm hopeful its time, love, care, patience....( I'm hoping we can see some healing without having to use psychiatric drugs) .....I'm not totally opposed to the usage but feel his brain needs some time to recover from the damage that has been done x

OP posts:

Socialaddict · 17/12/2015 13:05

Smiley, I just saw this post and following your other one, where I commented, I would allow myself to advise you to try and get your son hospitalised for a bit. This is something we did not do soon enough and I honestly believe that this really would have made a difference for my DB. Some of the things you say about your DS are very similar to what my DB experienced, so I urge you to act quickly. Some of the young people we met when he was hospitalised in his early 20's had help earlier and it worked, some of them even made full recovery. Do not leave it, hoping that it will get better, without actually doing anything to make it better, as it does not. The MH issues only worsen if not treated in time. Good luck!

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